Jeb Bush is hotly rumoured to be running.
TESTAMONIAL: "I was still a bit rattled by the spectacular devastation."
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Jeb Bush is hotly rumoured to be running.
I, on the other hand, narrowly avoided killing a busker with an accordion this morning while getting a coffee.
Just had a thought regarding this subvocalization malarkey. If you take understanding spoken language as a baseline, how far up or down is the fidelity required to grab music I play in my head?
I quite often invent whole bloody symphonies in my mind's ear but lack the dedication to figure out how to write it down in music language and then turn it into out loud shit. Only I get to listen to it. Would be the crown king of epic if I could just record the shit as it happened. Use it as backing tracks for kayaking vids.
Musicians and composers, spitting bullets about how it's just not cricket in 3... 2... 1...
It's tumblr, right?
I just had to have a talk with my own kid about why there is nothing "oppressive" about not diagnosing people under 18 (IMO 23-25 would be more appropriate, in fact) with personality disorders. Because different parts of the brain undergo major developmental surges at different times, effectively making everyone whose brain isn't done growing "disordered" if you held them to adult standards.
It also sounds like she's sending you some "nope" signals, perhaps simply because she has too much on her plate to pursue a relationship right now.
Seconded. I would only add that even if she was sending signals of real interest, and I also DO NOT SEE 'EM here, it's a very bad time to be establishing the associations of a new thing. Some depressives even use a new relationship to feel better and discard the person after like a used tissue. This isn't necessarily sociopathy per se, just the consequence of being associated with indescribable pain in the aftermath.
As someone who is "depressed and dating," I can relate a little bit to F. Sometimes, when you're really down, even if you want to go out, your depression makes it very difficult to allow yourself to actually go out. If I were F, I think I would appreciate some company that is willing to just stay in with me and relax, that way F would get some positive human contact without the potentially overwhelming struggle against her depression to muster the energy to go out, and it also helps avoid her possible regret of not taking the opportunity to go out when she had the chance. Depression can feed off of regret, so helping someone avoid potential regrets can be a highly effective way to assist them if they are also feeling very depressed. But, of course, this is all contingent upon the level of engagement you are looking to take on, and F's receptiveness to your desire to assist her.
Plus, I may not actually know what I'm talking about; I speak from personal experience, alone.
what are your motivations for dating?
It is now one hundred years since drugs were first banned -- and all through this long century of waging war on drugs, we have been told a story about addiction by our teachers and by our governments. This story is so deeply ingrained in our minds that we take it for granted. It seems obvious. It seems manifestly true. Until I set off three and a half years ago on a 30,000-mile journey for my new book, Chasing The Scream: The First And Last Days of the War on Drugs, to figure out what is really driving the drug war, I believed it too. But what I learned on the road is that almost everything we have been told about addiction is wrong -- and there is a very different story waiting for us, if only we are ready to hear it.
But in the 1970s, a professor of Psychology in Vancouver called Bruce Alexander noticed something odd about this experiment. The rat is put in the cage all alone. It has nothing to do but take the drugs. What would happen, he wondered, if we tried this differently? So Professor Alexander built Rat Park. It is a lush cage where the rats would have colored balls and the best rat-food and tunnels to scamper down and plenty of friends: everything a rat about town could want. What, Alexander wanted to know, will happen then?
I can't speak to her specific situation and triggers, but I'll try to give a nickel's worth of free perspective. I have the bipolar, but of the sort that tends to mania and hypomania. I have definitely experienced some few truly horrific depressions. If she is clinically depressed then her feelings and behavior are not about reason, and you should not seek her reasons.
The lashing out is a defensive act. It could seem to be simple or complex if you could get her to explain her motives in words but the real, irrational essence would be that the only thing she feels is pain and sharp negative emotions, thus that's all she can express without acting. If she is also proud any attempt to sympathize could be taken as a personal insult as it may seem demeaning and remind her of her current weakness.
I would suggest giving her space if she wants it and not attempting to use reason or asking how she feels. Communicate more through positive deeds and demeanor.
Also... not to tell you your business but pursuing "a relationship" with a depressive is tricky at best and a horrible and potentially life altering clusterfuck at worst. Consider a supportive friendship or otherwise maintain a certain objective distance or you may get dragged down too.
Some people avoid activities because they can't see any point to doing them, others avoid them because they can't actually be around people. It depends on her personality if she actually wants to be left alone or if she could really use some time with others. I know when I'm feeling like that, I have to force myself to be around people, and it does help a lot. If she's willing to get together, try steering activities toward outsidey things.