« on: January 20, 2015, 10:01:19 am »
I can't speak to her specific situation and triggers, but I'll try to give a nickel's worth of free perspective. I have the bipolar, but of the sort that tends to mania and hypomania. I have definitely experienced some few truly horrific depressions. If she is clinically depressed then her feelings and behavior are not about reason, and you should not seek her reasons.
The lashing out is a defensive act. It could seem to be simple or complex if you could get her to explain her motives in words but the real, irrational essence would be that the only thing she feels is pain and sharp negative emotions, thus that's all she can express without acting. If she is also proud any attempt to sympathize could be taken as a personal insult as it may seem demeaning and remind her of her current weakness.
I would suggest giving her space if she wants it and not attempting to use reason or asking how she feels. Communicate more through positive deeds and demeanor.
Also... not to tell you your business but pursuing "a relationship" with a depressive is tricky at best and a horrible and potentially life altering clusterfuck at worst. Consider a supportive friendship or otherwise maintain a certain objective distance or you may get dragged down too.
Yeah, im rethinking the rapport based on what im experiencing... at first i felt she was seeing someone else, but i started to understand that. the depression shes going thru seems deeper than what i thougth at first, and well, ive had bad times, im a social psychologist and have spent 2 years surrounded by schizophrenics, so i thought, eh a mild depression nothing too much out of the ordinary, but now i think i need to keep some emotional distance for my own good, thats what one friend told me too.
One significant turning point for the worse is when she stopped renting her own place around 2 months ago and moved into her mothers she seemed to, how to say it, i mean we arent upbeat people by any means, but she started to seem more weighted down, metaphorically speaking, with less energy and motivation.