« on: June 04, 2016, 04:53:11 pm »
It's Time to Take Back Confusion
Really, the one thing holding us together is that none of us quite fit into the standard model. We're unaccounted for, and that makes us unpredictable, and that makes us scary. We're dealing with thousands of years of tradition and assumptions, built up and calcified until it could all be taken for granted. Homophobia itself is something relatively new, historically speaking, but the things that homophobes feel we threaten are very, very old. The division of labour according to gender breaks down when there's only one gender in a home, so we have to think for ourselves, and that frightens those who have fallen back on complacency. If we have to think for ourselves and construct our own means of handling things, after all, maybe their way isn't objectively best, and if their way isn't best, what does that say about them?
It all comes down to the insecurity of lazy people who don't want to think, and this is even more evident for trans people. I don't know if it's harder for binary or nonbinary people, and frankly, I don't care to start a pissing match over it. In either case, the question is the same: How dare we exist? How dare we highlight just how nonsensical it is to think genitals have some kind of profound, mystical connection to who we are? Don't we know there are people whose entire identities are built on sloppy, unexamined foundations? Don't we know better than to shake things up? How rude of us. You could say identity itself is a crock, but that doesn't let our assailants off the hook. An identity handed to you on a silver platter is no more real than an identity you have to work for, and after all, identity plays a pretty vital psychological role.
Basically, what I'm getting at is this:
We ourselves are no more confused than anyone else, but we're quite the source of confusion, aren't we? I think that's a good thing. People need to be confused. It forces them to think, it forces them to consider that they might be wrong, and honestly, that's the only way we learn anything. Of course, we don't exist for the purposes of straight cis people. We need to be confused as much as anyone else, as much as our enemies try to use confusion as a smear term. I've seen queer people treat other queer people like absolute garbage, and I think it's all in the name of avoiding confusion, just as much as bog-standard homophobia is, just as much as bog-standard transphobia is.
And it's easy to understand. When you have to deal with bigots' constant accusations that you're just confused, it's very tempting to say no, that you're very certain of exactly who you are, and that you haven't the slightest amount of doubt. But some of us don't have the luxury of certainty, and besides, this approach has other drawbacks. People are addicted to order, and to thinking we understand things when we really don't, and it's easy to get arrogant and dehumanize people. It's easy, but it's lazy. It's the same old shit we've all been putting up with from day one. Each and every one of us is a stick in the gears of someone else's worldview. We can't afford to fear the same thing, as a matter of common courtesy if nothing else. We've all had straight people and queer people alike tell us that we don't count one way or another, but I'm here to tell you that you do, whether or not you're certain of where you fit and who you are. To hell with their fake authority.