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Messages - President Television

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1
Supposed to be writing lesson plans writing now. Instead i am reading articles about white privilege/MRA culture and why there should be a hawaiian Aquaman.

Not gonna lie, Hawaiian Aquaman sounds pretty cool.

3
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Whirlpool Memes
« on: December 14, 2014, 12:06:33 pm »
"Whirlpool" is the code name for a classified government mind-control operation. Fortunately, the government in question is the government of North Korea, and since it ran out of funding "Whirlpool" has consisted solely of an oversized pinwheel.

4
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: tulpas :^)
« on: December 14, 2014, 03:48:27 am »
They were very clever, those Druids.

Mysterious, too.

5
RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 04, 2014, 01:26:29 am »
Shouldn't Greyface be in there somewhere?

I guess I might as well add him. I'm kinda sick of Greyface, though.

6
RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Statblocks
« on: December 04, 2014, 01:22:12 am »
Mechanically: This falls under the general purview of other melee-focused bloodlines like the Abyssal bloodline: Not great for most sorcerers, but with a little tweaking it could be awesome for a bloodrager. Personally, I'm not a big fan of the cold elemental focus since all those cold spells are useless against anything that resists it, but by default Pathfinder Yetis have two things going for them: Strength and cold. It was inevitable. One genuine criticism I have to make is that the spell levels for your bloodline spells are off. I think the idea for bloodline spells is that you get your bonus spell at the level you get to cast spells of its level, so it should be a straightforward progression of levels 1-9. The Bloodline Arcana is pretty sweet, though. There are some nice cold spells out there. Here are the bloodline spells I'd go with: Enlarge Person (3rd), Frigid Touch (5th), Wind Wall (7th), Protection from Energy(cold only) (9th), Icy Prison (11th), Stone Tell (13th), Ice body(15th), Frightful Aspect(17th),  Polar Midnight(19th).


This works for regular Pathfinder Yetis, but I was thinking more of the Subgenius "Slack-Master Rulers of Atlantis" take on Yetis. I always figured Yeti-blooded sorcerers would have more luck-based powers, since Subgenii are supposed to be human-Yeti hybrids. I'll try my hand at putting together a bloodline from the opposite perspective, based purely on the premise of Slack sorcery, and maybe we can combine our approaches or something.

7
RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:48:01 pm »
Eris is done and waiting for critique, mainly just to get a post done in the other thread. I went with the "cackling, bloodthirsty madwoman" interpretation. Her clerics are also pretty powerful as it stands, on account of the domains most closely related to her all being really good domains.

8
RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Statblocks
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:29:57 pm »
Eris Kallisti Discordia
Deep in the shadows of decent society lurks the secretive church of Discordia. These inscrutable cultists spend long hours crowing on about the coming of "the Strange Times" to anyone who will listen, assaulting their senses with hoarse spittle-filled braying and their intelligence with innumerable logical fallacies. They sing praise to Eris, a hideous crone of a goddess who starts wars for the fun of it and cackles as she wades in the blood of battlefields. Yet there may be more to this contrarian band of maniacs than there appears; it is said that the more you know of the Discordian scripture, the less you understand. Fortunately, these cretins seem to have a vested interest in keeping their membership down to a bare minimum.

Portfolio: Strife, Discord, Conflict, Confusion
Holy Symbol: Two overlapping arrows, forming a six-pointed figure.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Domains: Chaos, Madness, Trickery, War
Subdomains: Whimsy, Insanity, Deception, Blood
Inquisitions: Anger, Conversion, Heresy, Vengeance, Sin
Mysteries: Apocalypse, Battle, Occult

9
RPG Ghetto / PD Monster Stats: Statblocks
« on: December 02, 2014, 10:36:40 pm »
This thread is meant to run in tandem with this one, and it's where we're actually posting our statblocks and such. You know, the finished products(and works-in-progress, if need be). I'll be reposting the list from there, and once there are some more posts in this thread I'll start putting up links to them in the OP for ease of navigation. This thread's just for stats; actual discussion goes in the other thread.

EDIT: The lists are here.

Deities:
Eris Kallisti Discordia
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
JHVH-1
NHGH
The Machine
The Skinsaw Queen(Little Orange Breaks Bad)
Payne, the Messiah

Monsters:
Atlantean Yetis
Dero
Spiders(Hey Jim!)
Upside-Down People(various ramblings of TGRR)
Nessies(More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted)
Giant Mutant Guinea Worms(various ramblings of TGRR)

Afflictions
The Curse of Necronomicoin(A New Currency, not yet approved)
Mutant Guinea Worms(various ramblings of TGRR)
The Spore of the Desert(TGRR and Nigel, conceptual)

Classes, etc.
Rinzai Monk(Chaotic monk archetype, mainly for Nopants, Source: Parable of the Gong)
Zenarchist Swordsman(probably some ToB-style wankery)
Battle Nun(goddamn essential)
Yeti-blooded(Subgenius sorcerer bloodline)

10
So, tangentially relevant to all this hoopla about Shia LaBeouf:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0u4M6vppCI

11
RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 01, 2014, 08:24:52 pm »
The "My Girl Friday" and "Life During Wartime" threads are also worth a look.  LDW isn't done yet, of course.

Yeah, I thought of those but I couldn't remember the titles. That, and Life During Wartime doesn't really have much in the way of non-metaphorical monsters.

Yep.  It only has the one, and that is taken directly from LOBB.

I've gotta say, though, those undead soldiers were cool as hell and we could probably throw together some equipment like power armor under the new Technological Equipment rules. It'd also tie into the Nessies' story(though the LDW version is obviously far more robust).

12
RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 01, 2014, 08:12:10 pm »
The "My Girl Friday" and "Life During Wartime" threads are also worth a look.  LDW isn't done yet, of course.

Yeah, I thought of those but I couldn't remember the titles. That, and Life During Wartime doesn't really have much in the way of non-metaphorical monsters.

13
RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 01, 2014, 07:57:46 pm »
Thanks, y'all. I wasn't expecting to have this many replies when I got home from work, but I'll update the OP accordingly. This includes crediting LMNO as a co-author for Hey, Jim! I knew he was involved(and he did a pretty damn good job on the Spiders play-by-post games), but I didn't quite remember to which degree.

14
RPG Ghetto / PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 01, 2014, 05:52:18 am »
EDIT: Here's where everything goes when it's done.

Ok, so I'm biting the bullet and making the thread. This is sort of a casual group project thing that anyone can take part in if they want. The idea is that we're taking various monsters, deities, and assorted beasties from Discordian material and some stories posted on this very site, and we're giving them stats. In the case of deities, I don't really want to give them a stat block so much as a codified set of options for divine casters, but I figure there are plenty of those to cover. We might also write up some classes, archetypes, templates or class options, depending on how ambitious we get, but this shit is not decided yet.

This is not an attempt at prosthelytizing Discordia on the tabletop, nor is it necessarily an attempt at representing these stories with perfect accuracy(though I'd prefer not to monkey too much with the source material). This is basically just "Hey, that'd make a pretty fun enemy in a DnD game, let's give it a statblock," or "It'd be pretty cool to play a cleric of x god." If there's a specific type of plot associated with a monster(Like Spiders manipulating things from behind the scenes), give them abilities that will facilitate that plot(Like Illusion and Enchantment spell-like abilities). If you don't agree with the alignment or whatever, change it in your own game. Being able to tweak that shit on the fly is half the point of the medium anyway.

On a technical level, I'm personally most comfortable with Pathfinder, but if you want to stat something for another system, be my guest. Just clearly state which system you're giving it stats for. And for "Bob"'s sake, keep it clean and organized. Yeah, I know, muh kayoss, but if you aren't gonna use a format, you're basically just being a dick for no reason. If someone else posts a statblock in your system of choice before you do, follow their lead. If you're the first to post stats for a system and it has an SRD, use the format in the SRD. If you're doing domains and whatever for a deity, just be organized and use common sense, it's not that hard to sort out. Anyway, here's our list of creatures. If you have any stories to suggest as source material, post links and I'll see about asking the author for permission to work with it. The question shouldn't come up too often, since TGRR/Dok Howl wrote 90% or so of the source material I can think of and I think he frequents this subforum, but we don't do shit without permission and attribution. I'm just gonna assume group projects are fair game unless there's a clearly-defined ringleader, though, as long as nobody objects. Same goes for ramblings.

The lists that follow are incomplete, boyo. Suggest some things.

Deities:
Eris Kallisti Discordia(COMPLETED, Critique wanted)
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
JHVH-1
NHGH
Greyface
The Machine
The Skinsaw Queen(Little Orange Breaks Bad)
Payne, the Messiah

Monsters:
Atlantean Yetis
Dero
Spiders(Hey Jim!)
Upside-Down People(various ramblings of TGRR)
Nessies(More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted)
Giant Mutant Guinea Worms(various ramblings of TGRR)

Afflictions
The Curse of Necronomicoin(A New Currency, not yet approved)
Mutant Guinea Worms(various ramblings of TGRR)
The Spore of the Desert(TGRR and Nigel, conceptual)

Classes, etc.
Rinzai Monk(Chaotic monk archetype, mainly for Nopants, Source: Parable of the Gong)
Zenarchist Swordsman(probably some ToB-style wankery)
Battle Nun(goddamn essential)
Yeti-blooded(Subgenius sorcerer bloodline, CLAIMED, IN PROGRESS)

Confirmed Contributors:
President Television
Bearman

Potential Sources:
Principia Discordia
The Book of the Subgenius(and related materials)
The Illuminatus! Trilogy
Black Iron Prison(honestly, probably gonna source this by individual segments)
Parable of the Gong(Cramulus)
Hey, Jim!(TGRR, LMNO, group)
More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted(TGRR, group)
Little Orange Breaks Bad(TGRR)
Life During Wartime(TGRR)
My Girl Friday(TGRR)
A New Currency(Paes, group)

If there are some other stories and/or sermons that you know about, please post links. I know there are a lot of things I'm forgetting about, and I just can't remember the exact titles.

15
I feel like I should ask... if you heard this same story, but it was a woman being assaulted by a man, would you also be incredulous that she did nothing to stop the assault?

I am not accusing you of sexism, I am just wondering whether you have some mental models you might want to examine a little more closely, because I don't find it at all strange or confusing that he didn't resist the assault.

I find it strange that anyone who was in an art instillation with two associates in the other room wouldn't at least call out for assistance, yes. Male or female.

This wasn't an alley, or a college dorm room. It was an art instillation with two associates in the other room.

A. One common effect of sudden threat on the autonomous nervous system is being unable to make a sound. Women are frequently asked "why didn't you scream?"

B. I'm not sure that any of us know what the acoustic properties of the room are, or what the environment his colleagues were in was like. Was there music? Was it noisy? Was the room soundproofed against street noise? Was it down the hall?

So I'm going to ask you the same question again: If it was a woman who reported being assaulted, beaten with a whip, and raped, in a closed room with other people in a nearby room, would you question the rape by asking why she did not scream or fight back?

Initially, yes. But I was being glib without putting much thought into it, which was ridiculously insensitive. Again, I apologize. This entire thread was ill conceived.

I consider it no waste. And it'd be pretty ridiculous of me to judge you for being unaware of the emotional subtleties of something you've never personally experienced. I think it's a surprise to everyone it happens to. Quite a bit more of the suffering occurs on a social level than on a physical one.

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