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Messages - President Television

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1
Little Susie thinks the vomit-yellow and grave-mold-green particles floating amidst the deluge look almost magical in the dim light, against a backdrop of hissing downpour. She presses her little face to the window and stares intently at the mysterious motes dancing about, turning the rain to sloppy sludge as the specks infiltrated each drop. She stares until she perceives, in the lizard portion of her brain, a malevolent sentience in each tiny fleck. Until she can not turn away. Until she can no longer resist their piercing siren wail beyond the glass.

Little Susie flings open the window, letting in the rain. And the spores. Almost instantly she becomes coated in slime. And the spores waste no time getting to know their new food source. Seeping into her skin, the spores burrow. Deeper in, down into the meat and marrow of Little Susie. Burrow until they reached Little Susie's heart.

Now her pulse is in perfect sync with Tucson's. Now Little Susie is a part of something bigger. Older.

Little Susie smiles in the mirror. She smiles with her vomit-yellow lips until her grave-mold-green eyes spark with mirth.

Then she skips off to ask Mommy for permission to go play at a friend's house. Mommy will say yes.

Mommy will do anything Little Susie asks.

Or else.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE!   :eek:

2
Nothing good ever happens in this thread...

On the plus side, this depressing truth is making us smarter.

Apparently not. We're still posting in it.

3
Dare I ask what a skeleton war is?

It is not A skeleton war, its THE skeleton war. :evilmad:

This statement clarifies nothing.

It's fucking metal, is what it is.

Is it NWOBHM, or is it like Death MEtal?

That depends on which side you're on.

4
Dare I ask what a skeleton war is?

It is not A skeleton war, its THE skeleton war. :evilmad:

This statement clarifies nothing.

It's fucking metal, is what it is.

5
Sorry, I had to record Cop Rock.

6
I think mine's leaking. There's sort of a fetid pus oozing out around the edges.

7
Goddammit, I just popped in for the sole purpose of being the first person to post a thread about this.

Suu, this whole "we actually live really really close to each other" thing isn't going to go peacefully for long if you keep STEALING MY BRAINWAVES.

Clearly, witchcraft is to blame.

8
WaffleGF is at the hospital with her father, who is in the final stages of bladder cancer.
I'm at home, with the dog, the rats and the rabbits. Feeling awfully helpless and lonesome.

That's too bad.

9
Living with my grandparents has brought all kinds of interesting surprises. For example, my grandparents are islamophobes. They aren't too fond of Sikhs in the RCMP either; apparently, mounties with turbans are a violation of Canadian identity. Whatever that is. They kept talking about it as "giving in" or "surrendering"; I wasn't aware that Canada was engaged in a holy war with Sikhs. Needless to say, I'm disappointed in them. They're usually intelligent, lucid, kind people, and my grandfather in particular is a retired history teacher who was alive during World War II. They should really know better.

10

I don't know about everyone else, but I don't dislike conspiracy theorists because I'm afraid of the reptilian boogeyman. I dislike them for half-assing their critical thinking. Like, yeah, you question authority. Of course. That's the first step. But it's just the first step. Not listening to what the government tells you doesn't give everyone else that wants you to believe something carte blanche to root around inside your cranium and plant woo-selling mystical bullshit marketing memes. My problem with conspiracy theorists isn't that they're too paranoid, it's that they're not paranoid enough. They're too gullible. Too addicted to exclusive knowledge and fitting into their little fan clubs to genuinely give a shit one way or another about the truth. I piss on your Alex Jones, and your David Icke, and both of their piddly little "secrets". Think for yourself, schmuck.

So goddamn true, and so well put! I find a particular troubling irony in those who are rightfully skeptical of the intentions of our profit-driven corporate system, yet completely abandon skepticism when it comes to the multi-billion-dollar alternative health market.

Which is itself a part of the profit-driven corporate system. It amazes me how much branding alone can do to make something palatable to the new-age crowd. It kinda all clicked into place for me a while back when someone (it might have been you) was talking about anti-vaxxers and the fact that it seems they're perfectly aware of the health risks and simply choose not to vaccinate as a result of social pressure.

11
I'm already feeling more alive. Someone shared this on Facebook and I wrote up a response:


Quote
I don't know about everyone else, but I don't dislike conspiracy theorists because I'm afraid of the reptilian boogeyman. I dislike them for half-assing their critical thinking. Like, yeah, you question authority. Of course. That's the first step. But it's just the first step. Not listening to what the government tells you doesn't give everyone else that wants you to believe something carte blanche to root around inside your cranium and plant woo-selling mystical bullshit marketing memes. My problem with conspiracy theorists isn't that they're too paranoid, it's that they're not paranoid enough. They're too gullible. Too addicted to exclusive knowledge and fitting into their little fan clubs to genuinely give a shit one way or another about the truth. I piss on your Alex Jones, and your David Icke, and both of their piddly little "secrets". Think for yourself, schmuck.

RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
 :crankey:  :madbanana: :rogpipe: :nuke2: :walken: :love: :jihaad: :mccain: :cramstipated:

12
Just got to Toronto. Felt good literally the moment I got out of the taxi. I plan to go for a walk first thing tomorrow morning, just so I can head off my habit of staying shut in before it even starts. I really think this'll be a good summer for me.

13
Two days from now, I'm moving to Toronto. I'll have a job when I get there, and it appears that things are beginning to go well for a change, in spite of the temporary indignity of staying at my grandparents' place. I've had progress in therapy here, and I've begun to identify at least one of the mechanisms behind my behaviors. If I spend the summer establishing a routine to methodically adjust this mechanism, maybe I'll even be a functioning human being by winter.

14
A spring haiku:

flowers aren't worth this
drippy goddamn misery
tweet tweet little bird

15
Somehow, I cut my finger on a pizza box. I blame Richter.

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