Messages

1486

Or Kill Me / Re: Imaginary Fappings

« on: November 01, 2009, 07:37:52 am »

See, I knew I'd go stupid eventually. It always happens to me on the Internet when I try to express or articulate my opinion. I knew it would happen, but I kept telling myself no, it would be different here, I'd somehow learn how not to be an idiot.

Fuck you, me. You suck. Go live on a mountain or something and come back when you know how to be original in your thinking. Dickhead teenager. I hate teenagers, you know.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE, JUST SOME SELF-INDULGENT BULLSHIT, MOVE ALONG

1487

Apple Zone / Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROGER!

« on: November 01, 2009, 07:04:00 am »

Happy birthday.
I haven't been here long, but you seem totally hardcore, dude.

Balls. I'm a fucking creampuff.

Hence "seem".

1488

Or Kill Me / Re: Imaginary Fappings

« on: November 01, 2009, 06:31:15 am »

Yeah, it's pretty awful. I didn't go into it expecting it to be good. I'm not really sure why I wrote it.

1489

Apple Zone / Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROGER!

« on: November 01, 2009, 06:05:20 am »

Happy birthday.
I haven't been here long, but you seem totally hardcore, dude.

1490

Or Kill Me / Re: Imaginary Fappings

« on: November 01, 2009, 05:36:00 am »

So yeah, this is my first time doing this. What do you guys think?

1491

Or Kill Me / Imaginary Fappings

« on: November 01, 2009, 05:35:26 am »

It happens sometimes. It's easier than it should be, you know. It's easy to pull up the carpets we throw down over everything, easy to see all the shit we hide beneath our mind. You just have to imagine it. Visualise it. That's how I do it. I look around me, I see gravel, I see a house and leaf piles and trees and a dumpster and a city around it all. I don't really look at the sky.

Anyway, I just have to think the right thoughts, and it all goes away, it all becomes alien to me, nameless. I just have to think "there is no such thing as a house." That thought is key for me. I think it, and I've just opened up this barred door and strolled down the hallway. The inmates must be so jealous. Suddenly, I see not house, but windows, then doors, then siding, all one at a time, floating in midair. And then I look around me, and I see this invisible sheet over everything, this crazy blanket. And I peel it back. Underneath, the shapes are the same, and the colours are the same, but they aren't the same things. It's now that I'm finally free to decide what I see. Hey, that rhymes.

I tell myself to be paranoid. Something is behind me! I whirl to see it, but it was too fast for me. Gotta keep looking over your shoulder, cause you never know who's got a gun at your back. And it's then that it occurs to me. I can feel it. It's poking into me. The gun is there. It's a rifle, no, a shotgun, fuck that, it's a pistol at the base of my skull. I don't know who's holding it. I keep twisting my head around to see it, but the gunman's too fast for me. Then I think to look at my shadow. I just want to know what this person looks like, understand. Just want a vague idea. And there is no shadow.

There's no shadow because the gun is invisible. The gun is invisible because it's in my mind. I know who's holding it now. And really, it doesn't matter if it's a gun or not. It could be a truncheon. What matters is who's holding it. And that person is my guard. I guess I'd better go inside now. It's black and wet out here, and I'm a crazyman. I submit, and walk back towards my cell. I guess I still haven't given up completely, though, because I figure maybe I should stop in my tracks, turn, walk away from that imaginary house. But the gun is still there. No matter where I go, I will always have this invisible gun to my head. No matter where I walk, I will only be walking back to my black iron prison cell. It's fucking depressing. I go inside, up the stairs, I take off my coat. Sometimes, hope is hard to find. I guess I have to make it up myself.

1492

GASM Command / Re: Urine luck (or shits and giggles?)

« on: October 31, 2009, 05:17:24 pm »

Ha, ha, funny screen name. Now change it.

Your wish is my command.

1493

GASM Command / Re: Urine luck (or shits and giggles?)

« on: October 31, 2009, 03:11:31 pm »

A good idea, but pulling a urinal pad out of a urinal, stencilling it, and then putting it back in is disgusting. If you could get a hold of a load of new ones it would be worth it.

Yo! I heard that those weird scientist guys made this wicked invention! Wait, what was it's name? Ah yeah - it was called gloves!

Even better:

1494

GASM Command / Re: Town Hall GASM

« on: October 31, 2009, 03:01:47 pm »

Fertile ground for everyone, though, with no measure of emergency controls like satire or the voice of reason.

THIS CAN ONLY END IN CHAOS!

1495

Apple Zone / Re: haloween costume thread

« on: October 31, 2009, 02:09:22 pm »

I'm just going to dress the way I normally do and see what people guess I'm disguised as. I dress like a bum, so it should be interesting.

1496

Apple Zone / Re: RESURRECT THIS POST!

« on: October 31, 2009, 01:37:25 pm »

necromancing in this thread, sup guise B)

1497

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Who is 'Us'?

« on: October 31, 2009, 02:19:17 am »

I think it's clear that It is Us.

1498

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Discordians Anonymous

« on: October 30, 2009, 11:23:53 pm »

Ignore Richter, you should shout it from your rooftop with a megaphone. Then shout it from the street corner. Then at the local baptist church, while it is in service.

1499

Or Kill Me / Re: Disreality

« on: October 30, 2009, 11:16:20 pm »

Yes, it's Alice in Wonderland meets Alice in Chains.

that one liner just produced a massive internal visualisation of what exactly that would be like.

And, I kinda like it. 

The mad hatter's tea party being a little like "Junkhead".. actually, thats scary as fuck!

This makes me want to rewrite Alice in Wonderland as a rock musical.
Except that Layne's dead.

1500

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Irony Officially Dead

« on: October 30, 2009, 04:45:15 pm »

CHINA WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS CORPORATE OPPRESSION