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Messages - President Television

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RPG Ghetto / Re: Roger and Prez Televisions's Plot Hole
« on: January 05, 2015, 09:57:37 pm »
So years later, I'm finally getting around to GMing a game. The town I'm writing up is for a homebrew setting of mine, with custom races, gods, etc., but I think I should post it here anyway for critiquing purposes. The campaign(and possibly the setting) is called Fiends of the Heathen Key, and it's(very loosely) based on the Byzantine Empire. I'm starting it off at level 1, but I want to lay groundwork for future higher-level adventures set in the same locale. Right now I'm done giving the place stats and I'm in the process of writing its history. I'm going for a grimdark feel, but trying not to rob my players of fun in the process.

A fishing and trade town on the northern coast of the Eonates. For the most part, it consists of a large, shallow bay, but the land rises to the west, dropping off sharply into a limestone cliff and shading the waters to the west of the town. The rest of the town is hot, humid, noisy, and bright by day and night alike, and the stink of dead fish is masked only by the sting of salt, the smell of good food, and the various fragrant wares of merchants. The overcrowded cyan shallows are webbed with ramshackle docks, and somehow, amid the frantic roil of daily activity, fishermen and merchants are able to function in relative harmony. Still, it's a port town like any other, and rumor has it that you can find anything you're looking for in a town like this, for the right price...
Alignment: CN
Type: Large Town(2,001-5,000)
Government: Secret Syndicate
Corruption: 2 Crime: 4 Economy: 3 Law: -6 Lore: 1 Society: -1
Danger: 15 Base Value: 3,200gp Purchase Limit: 20,000gp Spellcasting: 5th
Qualities: Notorious, Prosperous, Rumormongering Citizens

Known History:
Towns like Roivos have been around since the beginning of history. People gather where the fishing is good, deplete their stocks, and return generations later, ignorant of their predecessors' mistakes. Roivos is only the latest in a long line of fishing towns built on the same foundations. However, Roivos has found a foothold this time around as a minor hub of trade, and merchants freely mingle with the fishermen. This iteration was founded in 3P 78, but you could hardly call it a founding. A survey team was doing some mapping, they found some rotted old shelters, and the fishing stocks were good. Within the decade, it was a functioning settlement, and it's flourished in the centuries since. But with success comes corruption and vice, and rumours circulate that Roivos is home to a thriving criminal underbelly.
This year, 3P 815, a new kephale has been appointed following the mysterious disappearance of his predecessor. The kephale, Theophilus Ignatius Mauricius Florian Honoratus, appears well-intentioned, but young and naive.

Secret History:
Roivos, like many other coastal fishing towns, was once a place of worship for the old sea god Cthogan. In the Third Great Purge, Cthogan was erased with the rest of the pagan gods, but its memory remains. Over the eons, coastal villagers have lived and died at the whims of the ancient colossus, and the Purge brought an end to the old cycle. This is why Roivos has remained when so many of its predecessors have come and gone.

When the surveyors found the remnants of the previous village, there were still some holy symbols and various other minor trinkets lying around. A member of the team, Zeno Pelagius Symeon, brought back one of these trinkets as a keepsake, but it proved to be in incredibly bad judgment. The Third Purge was still in fairly recent memory, and the Ecclesiarchy was in a heretic-burning frenzy. They learned of his souvenir, took him in for questioning, and tortured him to death, dumping his body in the sea. Years later, he washed ashore in the very bay he'd helped discover, face to face with a symbol of Cthogan. His eyes opened, ruined by the saltwater, and he realized that the mad god of the sea had granted him an awful gift: The gift of a second life. Ever since, he's been dwelling in the sea caves under Roivos, driven half-mad by his own undead existence and plotting his revenge on the Ecclesiarchy.

Zeno isn't alone, however. Cthogan's been pulling strings in high places, and there's been an unusual number of freak births in Roivos. The Innocents, undersized half-dead progeny of the cursed, are typically thrown in the sea when their parents discover their nature... and they wash right up in the caves with Zeno. He's become something of a twisted father figure to these creatures, and he regards them with genuine affection. He mourns for their deaths, and with each one to pass on, he curses his immortal fate again. Occasionally, he plays at being a fortune teller in town, but he knows that he can't afford to be seen for the immortal he is. Luckily for Zeno, his adopted kin are just as small as children, and he can maintain the appearance of a line of succession by employing them as apprentices. In this fashion, he's manipulated events in Roivos, slowly corrupting it into a hotbed of criminal activity. Today, Roivos is functionally ruled by an uneasy network of perpetually feuding gangs.
(I'll expand on this later)

It's not all that different from that one aspect of MK-ULTRA... "Operation Midnight Climax", if memory serves.

Considering the subject matter, that name is fucking horrifying.

Supposed to be writing lesson plans writing now. Instead i am reading articles about white privilege/MRA culture and why there should be a hawaiian Aquaman.

Not gonna lie, Hawaiian Aquaman sounds pretty cool.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Whirlpool Memes
« on: December 14, 2014, 12:06:33 pm »
"Whirlpool" is the code name for a classified government mind-control operation. Fortunately, the government in question is the government of North Korea, and since it ran out of funding "Whirlpool" has consisted solely of an oversized pinwheel.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: tulpas :^)
« on: December 14, 2014, 03:48:27 am »
They were very clever, those Druids.

Mysterious, too.

RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 04, 2014, 01:26:29 am »
Shouldn't Greyface be in there somewhere?

I guess I might as well add him. I'm kinda sick of Greyface, though.

RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Statblocks
« on: December 04, 2014, 01:22:12 am »
Mechanically: This falls under the general purview of other melee-focused bloodlines like the Abyssal bloodline: Not great for most sorcerers, but with a little tweaking it could be awesome for a bloodrager. Personally, I'm not a big fan of the cold elemental focus since all those cold spells are useless against anything that resists it, but by default Pathfinder Yetis have two things going for them: Strength and cold. It was inevitable. One genuine criticism I have to make is that the spell levels for your bloodline spells are off. I think the idea for bloodline spells is that you get your bonus spell at the level you get to cast spells of its level, so it should be a straightforward progression of levels 1-9. The Bloodline Arcana is pretty sweet, though. There are some nice cold spells out there. Here are the bloodline spells I'd go with: Enlarge Person (3rd), Frigid Touch (5th), Wind Wall (7th), Protection from Energy(cold only) (9th), Icy Prison (11th), Stone Tell (13th), Ice body(15th), Frightful Aspect(17th),  Polar Midnight(19th).

This works for regular Pathfinder Yetis, but I was thinking more of the Subgenius "Slack-Master Rulers of Atlantis" take on Yetis. I always figured Yeti-blooded sorcerers would have more luck-based powers, since Subgenii are supposed to be human-Yeti hybrids. I'll try my hand at putting together a bloodline from the opposite perspective, based purely on the premise of Slack sorcery, and maybe we can combine our approaches or something.

RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:48:01 pm »
Eris is done and waiting for critique, mainly just to get a post done in the other thread. I went with the "cackling, bloodthirsty madwoman" interpretation. Her clerics are also pretty powerful as it stands, on account of the domains most closely related to her all being really good domains.

RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Statblocks
« on: December 02, 2014, 11:29:57 pm »
Eris Kallisti Discordia
Deep in the shadows of decent society lurks the secretive church of Discordia. These inscrutable cultists spend long hours crowing on about the coming of "the Strange Times" to anyone who will listen, assaulting their senses with hoarse spittle-filled braying and their intelligence with innumerable logical fallacies. They sing praise to Eris, a hideous crone of a goddess who starts wars for the fun of it and cackles as she wades in the blood of battlefields. Yet there may be more to this contrarian band of maniacs than there appears; it is said that the more you know of the Discordian scripture, the less you understand. Fortunately, these cretins seem to have a vested interest in keeping their membership down to a bare minimum.

Portfolio: Strife, Discord, Conflict, Confusion
Holy Symbol: Two overlapping arrows, forming a six-pointed figure.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Domains: Chaos, Madness, Trickery, War
Subdomains: Whimsy, Insanity, Deception, Blood
Inquisitions: Anger, Conversion, Heresy, Vengeance, Sin
Mysteries: Apocalypse, Battle, Occult

RPG Ghetto / PD Monster Stats: Statblocks
« on: December 02, 2014, 10:36:40 pm »
This thread is meant to run in tandem with this one, and it's where we're actually posting our statblocks and such. You know, the finished products(and works-in-progress, if need be). I'll be reposting the list from there, and once there are some more posts in this thread I'll start putting up links to them in the OP for ease of navigation. This thread's just for stats; actual discussion goes in the other thread.

EDIT: The lists are here.

Eris Kallisti Discordia
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
The Machine
The Skinsaw Queen(Little Orange Breaks Bad)
Payne, the Messiah

Atlantean Yetis
Spiders(Hey Jim!)
Upside-Down People(various ramblings of TGRR)
Nessies(More Futuristic Fun Than You Really Wanted)
Giant Mutant Guinea Worms(various ramblings of TGRR)

The Curse of Necronomicoin(A New Currency, not yet approved)
Mutant Guinea Worms(various ramblings of TGRR)
The Spore of the Desert(TGRR and Nigel, conceptual)

Classes, etc.
Rinzai Monk(Chaotic monk archetype, mainly for Nopants, Source: Parable of the Gong)
Zenarchist Swordsman(probably some ToB-style wankery)
Battle Nun(goddamn essential)
Yeti-blooded(Subgenius sorcerer bloodline)

So, tangentially relevant to all this hoopla about Shia LaBeouf:

RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 01, 2014, 08:24:52 pm »
The "My Girl Friday" and "Life During Wartime" threads are also worth a look.  LDW isn't done yet, of course.

Yeah, I thought of those but I couldn't remember the titles. That, and Life During Wartime doesn't really have much in the way of non-metaphorical monsters.

Yep.  It only has the one, and that is taken directly from LOBB.

I've gotta say, though, those undead soldiers were cool as hell and we could probably throw together some equipment like power armor under the new Technological Equipment rules. It'd also tie into the Nessies' story(though the LDW version is obviously far more robust).

RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 01, 2014, 08:12:10 pm »
The "My Girl Friday" and "Life During Wartime" threads are also worth a look.  LDW isn't done yet, of course.

Yeah, I thought of those but I couldn't remember the titles. That, and Life During Wartime doesn't really have much in the way of non-metaphorical monsters.

RPG Ghetto / Re: PD Monster Stats: Sign-Up/Organization
« on: December 01, 2014, 07:57:46 pm »
Thanks, y'all. I wasn't expecting to have this many replies when I got home from work, but I'll update the OP accordingly. This includes crediting LMNO as a co-author for Hey, Jim! I knew he was involved(and he did a pretty damn good job on the Spiders play-by-post games), but I didn't quite remember to which degree.

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