« on: January 27, 2014, 04:07:10 pm »
I sell things on the internet for a brick and mortar hobby game store. Specifically, I sell on Ebay, but we (my bosses and I) are trying to put together a store connected to their website, and I will run that as well when it is going. I sell and buy games, miniatures, and cards. I help keep the IRL store afloat, and that gives me immense personal satisfaction and gratification, being vital to something or else it'll fail. One of my bosses knows my worth and is grateful that I am there, working for them, keeping them from going under, which I feel good about. My other boss is extremely unprofessional in purposely hurtful ways, and makes it hard for me to deal with that one period, despite feeling loyal and devoted to boss 1.
When I don't have work that needs doing, I play games, or I build things for the games I play. I play and build better than I talk and write, now, which I suppose is a con. I have more contact with people of the fleshy-and-in-front-of-me variety but less interaction with people in general than before I started working there. I have a terror of continuing to make mistakes, and they always crop up in bunches at about the same time, don't they just. I dread disappointing boss 1, because I want just to do well and do things right and not be a fuck up all my life and he's giving me the opportunity to force my way into the professional world by making my own place in it, scraping and gouging a hole big enough I can fit in it and have something meaningful to do without working somewhere I'll be complete shit and be fired in a month because nerves and anxiety of failing paralyzed me, caused more mistakes, while working at too slow a pace, and here what I say matters and my opinion is worth something and being more than someone replaceable and nigh faceless, nameless, pointless is better than having a minimum wage paycheck.