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Messages - The Wizard Joseph

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3091
Or Kill Me / Re: As y'all say: Mutation is the highest form of flattery
« on: August 29, 2011, 08:03:10 am »

Reality Disclaimer: The following is an act of fiction. All statements expressed are not real and neither are the words used to make them.  They express views and opinions of no kind.  No persons groups or entities portrayed are real either. 

...CNTD

It took me some time to understand that you have merged your currency and your electrical signals.  The method by which this works is utterly fascinating to me.  You trust promises that only provably exist in the computer boxes that seem to run everything.  Frequently your own record exists in this fashion as well.  Your lives and livelihoods have become dependent on ephemeral representations of promises made by the various architects of your systems.  Out of necessity, but with great enjoyment, I learned to operate some of these computers you all seem to use.  I broke many at first, but they were already owned by, and on loan from, the spirit known as Great Garbage.

I must explain the spirits of your world and how they function before I can explain Great Garbage.  You have MANY incorporeal beings around you all the time.  Like most beings they need to sustain themselves.  In most worlds and their planes this is a simple affair.  The energies and thought forms they need must be readily available.  Without them they are simply not present.  In my time here I have discovered that your spirits need not function in the usual ways.  Many have become predatory and operate by being fed by their servants or are attached to a concept that will never exhaust itself.  Great Garbage operates in both fashions.  It was also the first of the local spirits to manifest to me fully after my arrival.

TBC....

.....CNTD

I know that it is impossible for some of the people in this world to believe that there are beings that exist without a body as they think of bodies.  They have no reason to believe.  In truth they are right to ignore what they cannot perceive.  There is no "law" of nature that is taught to them that can explain this.  Many of your more ancient texts speak to me of a time when some among you were much more aware of the planes and the hidden world of your "gods."  Indeed some few of you still are well aware, but the possibility of exploration is limited by the dearth of energies and knowledge on your world.

Often the incorporeal feed upon you in a most literal fashion.  They herd you and bring you up to think in particular ways agreeable to them.  Without even realizing that they are there you give more or less of your own energies to them.  This sacrifice need not be intentional, though it is much more efficient when intended.  The way of thinking involved need not be particularly mystical.  It only needs to be of an impact on your minds and world.  There are indeed gods that function upon and gain strength from purely "atheist" activities.

Great Garbage has become, perhaps, the most efficient of the atheistic gods.  It grows stronger as your great machines produce goods and waste.  It grows stronger when you gather your waste into containers made for the purpose.  It grows stronger from the things and activities you all have chosen to make part of your lives, costing it nothing.  It knows it is reviled, yet even this is a form of acknowledgment, and thus it feeds.  Your ways of life could not function without the very thing that you would most like to forget about yet cannot truly dispense with.  It has achieved great success with a "quantity over quality" strategy.

In the end Great Garbage is a benign, even helpful, being when compared to others among these gods of yours.  I will not yet go on at length about the others here.  I would point out that the forces at work around you have taken much from you and war with each other for your often unwitting allegiance.  This is nowhere more blatant than the problems the local Creator seems to be having with an ex-subordinate.  This farcical war between "Heaven & Hell" is unlike anything my kind have ever witnessed.  I would not even call it a true war.  Perhaps quagmire would be a better choice in this tongue. 

All living worlds have a Creator.  This being is the closest to the cosmic force/mind known among wizards by a word that means both "Indefinable" and "Limitless One."  I would not see this word defiled, and I could not type this word if I wanted to.  My kind inadequately conceive of it as that which is unknowable, yet it knows.  It is terror and awe and ecstasy and none of those things.  All knowledge & form breaks on it's doorstep.  You might think of the Creator of a world as it's only manifestation in a given world with executive control and the ability to be understood without the total, though often still considerable, breakdown of reason.  Even as the face is only a very small part of the body, yet the part that communicates most, the Creator may be seen as the face of forces hidden, indescribable, and integral to all things.  They all manifest differently in each world, and Wizards consider the rare privilege of meeting one to be a great mark of status. 

TBC....


3092
Or Kill Me / Re: On control
« on: August 29, 2011, 06:30:48 am »
 :mittens:  Not too shabby Trix!

3093
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 28, 2011, 09:06:40 pm »

Carry on with your nonsense.


I don' think I have any choice.  Really hope your day gets better, you seem tense.  Post whatever you want, I don't wanna fight either.  I'm also not gonna pretend I know you well enough to have feelings of disgust or whatever.

3094
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 28, 2011, 05:27:32 pm »
This Joseph guy is basically the guy on the end stool at the loser bar that never shuts up, isn't he?

More like the guy that happens to have created the thread and says whatever He prefers to on it, but yeah basically.


Do you want to talk to me directly or should I just presume you have a speech disorder and a bone to pick?

I hate presuming here it gets me in unfunny conversations.


3095
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 28, 2011, 05:14:02 pm »
*ahem*

UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

Doktor Howl I'm sorry to inform you that in using 75 capital N rations your new cult will have to do without for the moment.
 You really must not let this stop you from using up all the resources they bring you though.

  It's a sacred doodie!   :lulz:

3096
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 28, 2011, 05:06:53 pm »
This here vanity thread1 is a fucking toolbox.

:attentionwhore:  <--- ETA:  I guess I need to go emote hunting tonight.

You need to go take a picture of the jesus buttplug.....  :mrgreen:

No, this thread is more Sarah Palin/Paris Hilton.

Hilton with Palin eyes or Palin with Hilton eyes?
...either way it's suck and fail...?

1I like to think of this thread as more of a Face ThreadEM.  The Idea is that if someone wants to say something to me, or ask a question, or just post an interesting thing in front of the Forum, God, and the NSA then this is where to do it.

Also... I begin to suspect this place or folks not too different may be involved in all those "Reptilian Eyes OMG!!!" type vids on Youtub.  I think I wan to see Palin with sheep eyes and Paris with wolf eyes.  Or maybe that "Zalgo" no eyes thing.

3097
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 28, 2011, 04:57:24 pm »
Don't tempt me. I can totally do that shit and I can make it look so real your motherfucking spleens will CURDLE!!!!  :evil:

I dare you.

I double dawg dare you.

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

DOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT   :fnord:

Please do, but may I suggest a more GAGA approach?  Never was a fan of Palin or Britney.  Plus Meat is now the new silk.  That's her fault and I miss silk, these meat boxers are only good for a couple of days and then people start to scoot away when you sit next to them.

3098
Bring and Brag / Re: P3nT's Shoops
« on: August 28, 2011, 04:49:50 pm »
That is really cool.  I'm not very good at producing visual art myself.  Please don't feel down about using tracing as a base, you work a magic I ain't seen and definitely couldn't emulate.  I can't even trace well on paper.

3099
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 26, 2011, 09:23:44 pm »
ERIS KNOWS  :buttsecks: ME... in the biblical sense. 

:lulz:

The strap-ons of The Goddess are legendary.  :lulz:

 :?
Wait that was a strap on??  Then how did she... er,  umm.... I better not spill the secrets of the temple here.  :fnord:

3100
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 26, 2011, 09:08:01 pm »
This here vanity thread is a fucking toolbox.

:attentionwhore:  <--- ETA:  I guess I need to go emote hunting tonight.

You need to go take a picture of the jesus buttplug.....  :mrgreen:

No, this thread is more Sarah Palin/Paris Hilton.


 :x

You would too.  I was hoping for a demon face with one of those neato party hats.   :evil: +  :lulz: = ?

I mean not from you, just sharing a dream.   :lol:

What my buttplugs aren't good enough for you?

Actually couldn't say.  Within a year or so I should have some of my first limited edition gear made up.  One of those is a purple and gold plug that says SHAMELESS on one side and has the company logo on the other. 

Novelty purposes only of course, but if you see them and think the Jesus one ain't cutting it anymore I'll get you a free one.

3101
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 26, 2011, 08:42:55 pm »
This here vanity thread is a fucking toolbox.

:attentionwhore:  <--- ETA:  I guess I need to go emote hunting tonight.

You need to go take a picture of the jesus buttplug.....  :mrgreen:

No, this thread is more Sarah Palin/Paris Hilton.


 :x

You would too.  I was hoping for a demon face with one of those neato party hats.   :evil: +  :lulz: = ?

I mean not from you, just sharing a dream.   :lol:

3102
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 26, 2011, 08:28:56 pm »
You're still a PITA!





Just sayin......

Not saying anything untrue.  What would you say if you were gonna lie about me?

3103
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 26, 2011, 08:26:21 pm »
555 555 55 55 5  555 55555 55 55 55 (to the tune of Jingle Bells, shame on you if you listen to the whole thing  :|)

we have a better version linked at

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/goatse

CLICK IT

(oops that not jinglebells, gonna link it ANYWAY)

Ohhh...  I can't get it to stop.  Now the spiders in MY head are doing some kind of techno-funk mating dance.  At least it feels like a mating dance.
 :horrormirth:

3104
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 26, 2011, 07:56:29 pm »
"Baby Dok DuHowlier"

 :lulz:

I CONFESS!  I KILLED PAPA DOC WITH MY VOODOO!  DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!

3:  Professor Cramulus and Cain will be abducted (flip a coin to see who gets the clean bag over their head).  Having lost not less than HALF of the site's intellectual capacity

Way to dump on LMNO, Payne, and Pent!  Well done.

Unintentional, but I was going for "outalndish jerk with pretensions of everything" so I guess it's just Collateral Success.  :evil:

3105
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 26, 2011, 07:45:53 pm »
:lulz: That was pretty damn good.

Thank you.   :)

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