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Messages - The Wizard Joseph

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3091
Apple Talk / Re: PETA just moved into pure Poe's Law territory
« on: August 24, 2011, 07:59:41 pm »
:x And I thought I was shameless and self-promoting. 

You are.  You're just not much good at it.


Yeah, but I think in my heart I've got the shameless bit down.

Also, as a side note

I've refrained from posting to your threads cuz I said i would, but particularly liked the stuff in Horrorology.  Would it be cool to post about nuclear fallout there? the topic seems fit to the board.

3092
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 07:50:46 pm »
Alright, Any questions, comments and snide remarks intended for me are welcome here.

I'll try to be cool.  8)

I may frequently fail at this.   :lulz: :oops:

I'm ready to throw my hood back and chat like civilized primates, but if it's funny just post away!

Who u calling a primate?  :crankey:

:pokewithstick:

Um, ya know I'm not really sure humans count now that I think of it..   :roll:Hell, some humans think they're not even human.  What would you call yourself? 

Me, I get called a lot of things. :)


I dont like using tags to define myself, man!

But if i really have to, id call myself an existential hipster.

Maybe I could call myself an Optimystic apostate with reason to laugh(at).

I also though prefer not to put on labels unless they're part of a costume or something.

3093
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 07:41:13 pm »
ATTN WJ: You come across as a bit of a twat. maybe that is or isn't how you are in meatspace. Doesn't matter - all I have is text on a screen. No biggie, lot of people are a bit of a twat IRL or online and I let it go cos, hell, I'm a bit of a twat when it comes right down to it. Problem with you is all we* got to go on is twat so far. Need some non-twat to balance it out.


*yes, I just invoked the collective "WE" that means the rest of the board is roger-bound to agree with me!

I'll try not to be a jerk mostly.
I'm pretty quiet when I'm just chilling with friends.  I came on WAY too strong here at first and I'm still trying to find a balance.
I just rarely get to ramble the way the forum setting lets me.
Here at my desk with my peeps what you guys see from me here is usually just me smiling or laughing to myself to them.  When they ask me I usually explain.  This doesn't always get me points, but they're used to me being frank and honest when they ask bout specific things. 

When I want attention I usually just go sing or do an Open Mike rant.

3094
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 07:30:10 pm »
I'm still trying to figure out how Discordia is "in the crossfire of conspiracy culture and religion", what a Discordian buttplug is supposed to look like, and who is this guy trying to co-opt our shit.
 :horrormirth:

?

 :x :x :x     :x   :x   :x      :x :x :x

Terrifying picture.. I need eyedrops from the river Lethe.

3095
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 07:27:16 pm »
I'm still trying to figure out how Discordia is "in the crossfire of conspiracy culture and religion", what a Discordian buttplug is supposed to look like, and who is this guy trying to co-opt our shit.
 :horrormirth:

:bob:  approves of him making a buck off of suckers.  No problem there.

It's just that he has a malfunctioning sense of humor, in that he tries to explain away the dichotomies that make the funny, in an effort to either make himself look smart or because the spiders in his head force him to do it.

They tell me they're not spiders...  Should I believe them Dok?

Not trying to co-opt your stuff guys.  Most of the things I'm going to do are about ALL mythologies and my own fictions around them.
Eris is my favorite though!  I came here to learn and interact.  I stayed because I found great things and also wound up having to defend my name from some bullshit that I bring up only for reference and because it wound up related to the discovery of genuine common cause with at least THIS tribe of Discordians.

And yeah my sense of humor can be pretty bad... sorry.

3096
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 07:19:31 pm »
Was just chatting with my scribe while you all were posting.  Proper responses in a bit.

Most of my people don't actually know much about Discordia, but are definitely gonna learn as they go.

My stuff's not really about this place per se and I've been the only one posting or reading here. 

That said, I personally am humbled/pleased/terrified by the expansion/refinement of the PD to be found here.


3097
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 05:16:25 pm »
Armordildoes?  :lol:

3098
Apple Talk / Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! SHOCKING! SURPRISING! UNEXPECTED!!
« on: August 24, 2011, 05:00:42 pm »
No, but you did take a lot of the funny out by overanalyzing shit.

Oh, sorry.  I'll try to rein it in.

3099
Apple Talk / Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! SHOCKING! SURPRISING! UNEXPECTED!!
« on: August 24, 2011, 04:56:00 pm »
I've actually heard someone use the phrase, "Yeah, they said cousin Jebidiah (not his real name) was airborne, doin about 180 when he hit that concrete barrier. Tore his head plumb off. I guess when it's your time, it's your time.

 :horrormirth:

I fail to see what's wrong with that statement.

It shows a clear lack of understanding of the concept of causality.

Does it? Maybe they think someone's picking times.
Maybe what was being done that led to the aforementioned impact seemed survivable. Who Knows?

We got where we are as a species by having a well developed ability to "see it coming" and prepare accordingly.
Not everybody sees with equal clarity obviously.
If you just don't have whatever it takes to survive a situation, it kills you.
Mental clarity and forethought is just one of those things.
You live exactly as long as your environment allows given your abilities.
When the dice don't favor you (if there really are dice and chance) it's not like life lets you cash out and walk away from the table.
Maybe they figured it was his time 'cuz he went all in on a bad bet   ...and it's funny.


Has anyone ever told you that you could fuck up a wet dream? 

Not really.  Why?
Did I? 

3100
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 04:53:37 pm »
If you're a wizard, where are your robes and pointy hat?  Does your wizard's staff have a knob on the end?  Can you cast Magic Missile?

Plz to NOT post pics of knobby staff, thx.

Yeah, cheeto stains are so disgusting.....

WHO TOLD YOU I Like Cheetos?  Who sent you?  Do I owe them money?  also PROTIP: NEVER polish a staff after eating the Flaming Hot variety... they weren't kidding.  :cry:

3101
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 04:53:18 pm »
If you're a wizard, where are your robes and pointy hat?  Does your wizard's staff have a knob on the end?  Can you cast Magic Missile?

Plz to NOT post pics of knobby staff, thx.

 :lol:
OK.  If I ever get to a meatup I'll just bring it with me and keep it in the tent and charge $12 per ticket.

3102
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 04:52:11 pm »
If you're a wizard, where are your robes and pointy hat?  Does your wizard's staff have a knob on the end?  Can you cast Magic Missile?

It's tru that a wizard's staff should have a proper knob on top.  Mine's broken though and Earth just doesn't have the necessary sapient pearwood sawdust I would need to mix into the epoxy for a fix.  Alas!  

I prefer hoods to hats, but The robes stereotype is just because they're comfortable.  I Really want a snuggie with the seals of the archangels embroidered on it. :fnord: :p

Maybe, but it's way more quintessence efficient to enchant regular old shotgun shells than to cast Magic missile here anyway.  Kosher salt and metallic sodium do wonders!

3103
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 04:51:45 pm »
Eh I still think you're a PITA dude.  And I mean that in the nicest of ways! :|

PITA?   :?

3104
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 04:51:26 pm »
Hey dude,

When you showed up, there was some bad timing. Your first post was within 20 minutes of somebody spamming #discord with child porn and I assumed it was you. I hissed about it and then clammed up.

Some time has passed, and I've been reading your posts, and honestly - you really don't strike me as a childporn troll kinda guy. I now believe that was just a weird coincidence.

So I want to say I am sorry for calling you out. I was wrong. My bad, good sir, the bad was mine.

You did the right thing in my opinion Professor Cramulus.  I have no hard feelings on the subject and hold your works here in VERY high regard.  Synchronicity is occasionally a true hosebeast.  

Apology graciously accepted, but unnecessary!

Perhaps with the ice broken there's real fish to be had now eh?  :)

3105
Apple Talk / Re: Joseph- A very questionable Wizard
« on: August 24, 2011, 04:50:53 pm »
So Joseph, I've been meaning to ask you...

You plan on selling Eris Brand Sex Toys or something like that, right? IIRC, you mentioned this was your method of dispersing info in regard to Eris, that your customer base would become curious and you could...fnord the fuck out of them, I guess.

Why do you think that would be an effective/desirable means of spreading the Discordia's word, such as it is? Far be it from me to suggest that you shouldn't make money off religion. But as for reaching out to people and having a substantial impact on their lives for, well we'll just say better, why would selling shit have anything to do with that?

I guess my first thought is that it would prohibit the average monkey from taking anything valuable because they would go:

"Hey, check out this vibrating butt plug I just got."
"Cool. Eris, what's Eris?"
"I dunno, I asked the dude who sold it to me and he started talking a bunch of gibberish. Something about a pineal gland and the number 23. Pretty confusing, really."
"But it's a great butt plug, right."
"Oh yeah, top notch."

Yeah? I dunno man. Lay it on me.



The Eris angle to me is integral to a mythology and story I'm building around the company.

I intend to make fun of alot of conspiracy culture and religion both.  Discordia is in the crossfire of those things anyway.

The average monkey will probably not be too involved in looking for deeper meanings, but it's the above average that I intend to cause to question things.

My advertisement methodolgy will include 3 major components.

1. Flash: the unusual and somtimes literally gilded style of the advert.  To attract the most primitive part of all people's brains. (Sex as a topic already does this naturally, I'm just value-adding)

2. Funny:  The simple word plays and the overt/exoteric jokes.  To engage the simple and "average" parts of the brain with language.  (HAHA you said buttplug)

3. Intrigue:  The symbolic content and frank perversion of symbolic usage.  This will keep the Rizilly smart folks guessing and inspire (I Hope) a search for answers... likely starting with more of my stuff, but I intend to subtly and overtly point people in suitable dirctions.      (consider the metaphicics of havind potentially 100's or 1000's of butt plugs with my logos adding to the experiences of a fundamental life function for people.  Hell of a powerbase and less fattening than Mc Dinnaldz)

In shorT most folks get with Eris in social obscurity. I feel like getting with her in public and I gotta say she's really hot when she goes to the effort to put her face on! (not much of that for a while, she's been dissatisfied for the last couple millennia  :wink:)

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