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Messages - 00.dusk

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121
Apple Talk / Re: Attn ex-Pagans/Magicians
« on: June 21, 2012, 06:53:16 pm »
lol, mauve

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mauve#Occultism

Quote
"Oblique to the paths that give on to other dimensions, and beyond them, there lies a region which the author has named the Mauve Zone. Mystics, magicians, sorcerers, alchemists, artists of many kinds have - over the centuries - skirted it, stumbled upon it, and fled from it. Very few have penetrated beyond it and survived, or cared to leave any record of the experience. Those that did, have had to present their accounts as fiction or discover a new means of communication - via weird art, symbols, hieroglyphics, signs which fellow pilgrims alone might recognize. Access to the Mauve Zone has been facilitated in more recent times by the use of magical systems developed by occultists such as Austin Osman Spare and Aleister Crowley, both of whom established contact with inter-dimensional entities possessed of transhuman knowledge and power. Both systems involve the use of sexual magick to open hidden gates that have remained sealed for centuries."

I'm not sure if this is worth a :horrormirth:. But I can't find a more suitable emoticon for "fuck you for telling me about how i accidentally stumbled upon something stupid people actually believe when I ws just trying to be funny."

I've read most of Kenneth Grant's works.

It gets better.  The Mauve Zone is home to Lovecraftian horrors.  As in, actual Lovecraftian horrors, as described by Lovecraft.  Because HP was subconsciously in contact with said Mauve Zone.

....Except now it all makes horrrible, horrible sense. I clearly have K Syndrome.

122
Aren't ALL jobs where there are people at risk jobs where the Uniform should take precedence? An example from my own life: I receive an SSI check because I'm only barely sane enough to hide the true depths of my madness from the Powers That Be Exceptionally Dumb. This month, some stupid bastard fucked up my check, and I may not get it at all. Now let's say he fucked it up because there was some distance between What He Does and Who He Is -- i.e., he was not fully "in character" -- he was not living the Uniform.

No.  A fireman must live the uniform.  A bureaucrat must simply demonstrate a bare minimum competence level.  To ask more is to state that EVERYONE should be the uniform, because a case could be made for ANYONE.  Being the uniform is not the same as paying attention to what you are doing.

Point made. And I'm kicking myself for not seeing that.

123
Apple Talk / Re: Attn ex-Pagans/Magicians
« on: June 21, 2012, 06:37:51 pm »
NOW LISTEN UP YOU PUKE. THE REASON THEY ALL FUCKING STOPPED CASTING SPELLS AND SHITS LIKE WIZARDS IS BECAUSE IT IS A GRAMED SINE. THEY ARE FORBIDDEN FOR DABBLING IN THE DARK ARTS, THE PUCE ARTS AND THE PLAID ARTS, EXCEPT FOR THAT IRISH SPAG TWIDDLY WINKLES, BUT HE IS IRISH AND OBVIOUSLY AN OVER-FUCKING-SIZED LEPRECHAUN.

The Mauve Arts are still allowed, but that's only because nobody likes mauve.

124
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: An extract I'd like to discuss
« on: June 21, 2012, 06:33:06 pm »
Or you might be right, v3x. I'll have to re-read the thing with an eye for trying to spot the agenda.

How the fuck did I forget the most important part?!

Okay. Wow. Disregard my prior post completely. I forgot not to be a namby-pamby rube idealist.

125
QUESTION: What role does Barbie play in poor self esteem and body image in women?

I think we might need someone to play devil's advocate, where the fuck is Ippie?

Barbie is an effect that has partially become a cause.  It was marketed as a stepford wives version of America, because in the 40s and 50s, everyone wanted their daughters to grow up to be stepford wives.  It's been driving the "perfect 1950s female ideal" ever since, a monster that is indeed our national, reversed "portrait of Dorian Grey".  Barbie is unchanging; the nation has become obese and sour.

Given that I've never thought of Barbie at all beyond the obvious impact on body image in young girls, this was as much of a nasty wakeup call as a crowbar to the sternum. Shortness of breath and CERTAINTY that there is internal bleeding included.

It's insane how steeped our culture is in the 40s and 50s.  We relive WW2 vicariously over and over and over. We focus on 1950s ideals. The 1950s is our "golden age of prosperity". And yet if you really look back, those fuckers didn't have so much that makes our current ... i dunno what the term would be, so I'll just coin the word "infoclimate" -- that makes our current infoclimate possible. And the parts of the time period that our culture glorifies are always the most deeply unsettling ones.

The funniest part is, of course, that the 1950s never happened.

At least not the way it was portrayed.  Alcoholism, domestic violence, child abuse were the order of the day.  The 1950s had the highest rate of juvenile delinquincy in our history, and the second-highest rate of "unplanned" pregnancies (ie, out of wedlock) in our history (the 1920s were the highest).  Racial tensions reached their zenith in that era, as well.

The 1950-1960 decade was also a time of crushing conformity.  Wearing a different hat or a different cut of suit could mean losing your job.  Pictures of people waiting for the train in those days looks like something right out of a Twilight Zone episode. 

Of course, to the wartime generation, conformity was considered a good thing.

Oh, you're absolutely right. Which, yeah, is fucking hilarious. We're selling ourselves a bullshit alternate history and we're BUYING IT FROM OURSELVES LIKE NOBODY'S FUCKING BUSINESS.

That's really fucking sad. Our culture has been reduced to literally deluding itself. The people who try and sell me this shit about the 50s being amazing grew the fuck up (I mean 20-30 or so, not teenage years) in it -- they either are lying to me directly or they believe their own shit. I'm not sure which should make me more angry.

126
Sometimes, wearing a uniform is appropriate.  A soldier, for example, must maintain focus on what he does at all times.  It is dangerous to himself and to others to step outside the uniform, in training or in combat.

This has my mind gears turning. I may have to go to bed before I can say WHERE they're turning, but there's something that steps beyond mere "simple to understand" truth when it comes to this.

Here's something, so that maybe we can try wetware cloud computing since these fuckers have wetware botnets:

Aren't ALL jobs where there are people at risk jobs where the Uniform should take precedence? An example from my own life: I receive an SSI check because I'm only barely sane enough to hide the true depths of my madness from the Powers That Be Exceptionally Dumb. This month, some stupid bastard fucked up my check, and I may not get it at all. Now let's say he fucked it up because there was some distance between What He Does and Who He Is -- i.e., he was not fully "in character" -- he was not living the Uniform. That could, potentially, lead to me being right back where I was, which (for many) would be just as bad as murdering them, if not worse. Granted, I'm not actually living that situation yet. I'm lucky enough that it was only my state check for some 20-odd dollars. But this dumb jerk -could- have ruined my attempts at getting back on somewhat stable footing.

On the other hand, I can't IMAGINE letting Bureaucracy become Who You Are. That isn't soul-sucking, that's when there's no soul left and something slippery and dark from below the Sub-Basement of the Universe has crawled inside and made its nest. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

The question is, should this man or should he not wear his Uniform? (Also: should I or should I not stop posting until I have slept a little?)

127
QUESTION: What role does Barbie play in poor self esteem and body image in women?

I think we might need someone to play devil's advocate, where the fuck is Ippie?

Barbie is an effect that has partially become a cause.  It was marketed as a stepford wives version of America, because in the 40s and 50s, everyone wanted their daughters to grow up to be stepford wives.  It's been driving the "perfect 1950s female ideal" ever since, a monster that is indeed our national, reversed "portrait of Dorian Grey".  Barbie is unchanging; the nation has become obese and sour.

Given that I've never thought of Barbie at all beyond the obvious impact on body image in young girls, this was as much of a nasty wakeup call as a crowbar to the sternum. Shortness of breath and CERTAINTY that there is internal bleeding included.

It's insane how steeped our culture is in the 40s and 50s.  We relive WW2 vicariously over and over and over. We focus on 1950s ideals. The 1950s is our "golden age of prosperity". And yet if you really look back, those fuckers didn't have so much that makes our current ... i dunno what the term would be, so I'll just coin the word "infoclimate" -- that makes our current infoclimate possible. And the parts of the time period that our culture glorifies are always the most deeply unsettling ones.

128
The simplest way I can describe it is this:

I am employed as a maintenance supervisor in a refinery.  What I AM is a human being.

STOP BEING REASONABLE  :argh!:


 :lulz: But you're absolutely right.

129
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: An extract I'd like to discuss
« on: June 21, 2012, 05:37:47 pm »
I'm pretty sure Cain has been reading for a greater amount of time than I have been alive.

And it shows; the author makes several good points, but I can't really decipher his main point. All I get is that people raised from youth in the stereotypical 'West' are subject to the flavor of the month, and abandoning thought when they aren't presented with any obvious choices/paths. 'independent' thoughts and opinions are only accepted when there are not already clear-cut 'sides' to the issue.

Which then leads to people spouting anything they think, so they can be the first to say they had that opinion and get on the bestseller's list.

I think another thing going on in the above snippets is a generalization of that: that it is the nature of humans to make their own Uniforms. Which is interesting. I'm aware it's tribalism, but it seems the thesis is that tribalism goes all the way down to the lowest levels -- and so in any tribe which is large enough to become a miniature Machine, people automatically specialize and adopt Uniforms -- they are all part of the same tribe, but they are all different parts of that tribe. Sort of a collection of politics-neutral sub-tribes.

For the record, I'm also hopped up on energy drinks and sleep deprivation, sooooo this may be 169% bullshit.

130
Apple Talk / Re: I'M ABOUT TO CLICK "MARK ALL AS READ"...
« on: June 21, 2012, 05:32:11 pm »
I dreamed my dog was two different dogs and one of them had a skull fracture and his head healed all crooked.

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

131
Or Kill Me / Re: Growing Up
« on: June 21, 2012, 05:29:02 pm »
:lulz:

And yes, though in my case, I think I'm becomming slowly immune to the effects of caffeine.  The day before yesterday, I was tired enough that I had a coffee (47% pure caffeine) followed by two red bulls, and all it did was make me feel slightly less exhausted for half an hour.

I need to detox, I think.

Here's a fun experiment I tried.

Don't have any caffeine and, if you smoke, no nicotine for a full week. Then, when the week is up, drink 3 of the strongest energy drinks you can find in extremely quick succession and, if you smoke, follow that with at least three cigarettes.

Document the results. And don't have any more caffeine for 24 hours, for the love of god.

"Kind of" is probably key here. You gained a hell of a perspective. It's beyond fucked up that things like this happen at all, though.
I'm guessing Poppo will probably be set up with a little apartment now. Face chewed off under bridge: people notice. Homeless since the 70's: nobody gives a fuck.  :x

No, no, he got his face chewed off on the walkway beside a freeway overpass. That's the only reason people noticed. If it had happened under the overpass, they only would have been able to identify him from his teeth a few decades later, if some sick hobo hadn't made off with them for jewelry by then. If it had happened in the maintenance tunnels under a condemned office building, he'd never be found. Ever. By anyone.

Yeah, my backup is Austin or San Marcos. I might stand a chance of making enough money there to eventually get out of the country. If not, those places still have functional humans and things to do. Seguin might be a big step up from a storm drain populated by psychos who collect bones, but it's still solitary confinement. I'm convinced that without the internet I'd have done a Hank by now.

If you ever want an overview of what it takes to move to different countries, you can grab this for about five bucks and shipping.
http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Out-Leaving-America-Self-reliance/dp/0976082276

That's five bucks and shipping I don't have, but I'm sure there's a way I can get my hands on that much.

I'd never even considered living in Japan. I love the weirdness of it, but to me their best weird seems like it was a long time ago, Edo period or something like that. I think of contempory Japan as "that place where so many people worked themselves to death that they have a word for it now."
Both half-baked concepts are probably horribly wrong, of course. The only way to find out what any place is really like is to go.

My conception of Japan is "Tokyo: Human sardine can. Everywhere else: THERE IS NOTHING THERE" -- partially informed by some people I know who have been there, partially informed by cynicism.

I can advise on Europe, if you want.

The way things are going, though, I would personally recommend not trying the Eurozone.  Given how Syzria have been locked out of the Greek political system by orders from on high, it looks like the masters of the Euroverse have decided that a fascist backlash to austerity is infinitely preferable to a leftist one.

China is slowing, as is the US.  Oddly enough, it's places like Uganda, Angola and Kenya that seem to be showing the greatest economic growth at the moment.  Angola is actually propping up the Portuguese economy right now.  Of course, they are starting off from a lower level, and are still sensitive to global conditions...but I suspect there is a reason Luanda is now the most expensive city in the world, and you're better off looking for a job there than you would be in Spain, with it's 50% unemployment rate for the 18-24 range.

I'm actually considering the EU just because I happen to know some German, to be honest. As for employment -- haha. I've pretty much resigned myself to being a "leech" or a starving artist. Besides, starving isn't all that bad, once you get used to it! :lulz: Besides which, I'm at about that level of mental illness where there is a 0% unemployment rate. I still am not entirely sure why they allow me to walk around with both hands free and nothing in my system that I don't buy to put there myself, but that's how things go, huh?

132
Or Kill Me / Re: Growing Up
« on: June 21, 2012, 05:02:08 pm »
Ah, shame.  I shall chalk it up to you doing forbidden mathematics in your head, allowing an intersection between this universe and the lower levels of the Mandlebrot set.  That way, you were going crazy but it also really did happen.  All bases covered.

Don't tell the Black Chamber. It certainly wasn't squamous, after all.

If that turns out to be true in your case as well, all I am going to say is that, when the time comes, remember to enjoy it.  Taking pleasure in the small things is one of the benefits of a more stable and secure life, and should not be neglected.

I'm already taking pleasure in the small things. Like caffeine. Did you know you can get riproaringly high if you drink enough of that shit? I did not, but I learned very quickly.

133
Or Kill Me / Re: Growing Up
« on: June 21, 2012, 04:41:51 pm »
An excellent rant.

I have a question though, which has been bugging me since before you vanished... what was up with that "haunting" you thought was going on?  Did you ever get to the bottom of that?  I'm asking out of genuine curiousity, because it was never truly resolved (and one of the stories I made up when you vanished was that Eldiritch Abombinations had sucked you through a portal.  Actually, this story is pretty much the standard one for any PDer who goes missing, but it seemed a little more likely in your case).

I have no clue what was up with that. A few bucks is trying to tell me that it has something to do with the screws loose in my brain already, but from what little I remember of that particular situation it was pretty simple to prove that wasn't the case.

As a result... All I got is it could have been anything, from the merely mundane though supremely unusual (bugs. so so many bugs.) to the Highly Weird (ghost Cthulhu's dong).

134
Apple Talk / Re: So, last Saturday, I had to drive into the desert…
« on: June 21, 2012, 04:08:19 pm »
I'm well familiar with that route. And I fucking love that T-rex sculpture. Last time I found myself on AZ-85 (which was the last time I again failed to make it to Tucson due to vehicular difficulties screwing my timetable) I actually pulled over, got out, picked a direction, and walked into the Sonoran Desert for about a mile hoping to see a Gila Monster. In the end, I came to the conclusion that Gila Bend is the Arizona equivalent of the suburbs in Washington that cut down all the trees and name the towns and streets after them. Then, somewhere on I-8 about 40-ish miles east of Yuma, I stopped at a rest area and took another hike into the wasteland to check out a rock formation. After reaching the rock formation and snapping a few picks, I noticed some clouds WAY off in the distance. Now, I may be dumb but I'm not STUPID. I know that a brief thunderstorm 50 miles away means to stay out of the arroyos, but I had to cross a fairly wide and deep one to get to the rocks and I had to cross it again to get back to my truck. When I got back out of it, I decided I could relax a little and took the opportunity to take a few puffs off the peace pipe and light up a cigarette and sit on a rock and catch my breath. About 5 minutes later a furious wall of water came boiling down the arroyo. Now, I suppose what I saw could have just been a mesquite branch that was somehow being moved back and forth in a waving motion by the flashflood, and I suppose it's possible that the branch could have ended in five shorter branches, and I suppose it's possible that the branch could have gotten a hat caught up on it somewhere along the way. I like to think so, anyway, because the other possibility is that I watched a man drown and was helpless to do anything about it that wouldn't have gotten me killed too.

Sure was a beautiful rock formation though.

We need a word for the feeling that's like horrormirth, but with less mirth and more contemplation on the beauty of nature.

135
Or Kill Me / Re: Growing Up
« on: June 21, 2012, 04:03:55 pm »
Looking forward to that.

And yeah, it was reality, but nobody should have to learn that way. A lot of kids think they know it all, but having to go through all that is like a puppy getting smacked with a hammer for peeing on the carpet. No, I take that back, it's worse. I don't even have an analogy.

In the long run, I'm kind of glad it happened. In hindsight, I was in a mentally abusive family that only kept me because the government let them control my money. When I went to jail, the money disappeared and they didn't want me anymore. Also, I was running on 90% industrial strength Idealism, and that's always an ugly way to go.

Do you have some kind of plan worked out for getting to the EU?

I have nothing. I've been looking into it, but not too seriously at the moment, because there's no way in hell I could ever afford it. My backup plan, though, is Tucson.

You could say I'm a glutton for punishment.

Yeah, everyplace is america now, but I still think some places are more america than others

I need as little America as I can get. If I had the patience to go through the shitpile that is getting a Japanese citizenship, I'd go there in a heartbeat. They have a ton of weird, but at least they don't have as much America as the English-speaking folks.

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