Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion
TOTALLY different from Discordia, (SRSLY), this is actually a modern take on a gnostic sect, and method for becoming UNSTOPPABLE. The central figure is the IDEA of the Virgin Mary, specifically, her state of mind in trying to wrap the brain around immaculate conception. In fact, in this case, she's considered a representation of Eris. Don't ask us how. It's a metaphor, and is not required to make sense. (If the rest of the church and the pagans can co-opt so can we damn it.) We don't care if this actually happened as described or not, or if anyone New Testament existed or not, it's jsut a jumping off point of Holy WTF. Being a re-thinking of a gnostic sect, this is more about the knowledge, contemplation, and discussion of the WTF that is considered good.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: Any moment of head scratching bewilderment is a good and antural state. In this state, we are CERTAIN we know nothing. Given the sum total of knowledge, known and unknown, this is probably a safe bet. The accepting and realizing of this state is the first part of this sacrement, as it accounts for our basically flawed meat-brainedness. The annalysis and the realizing of something that might work this time is the second. Success is the third part. While not essential, we can't argue that results are snazzy, and lack of them MAY get you killed.
UNSTOPABILITY: If you tell other people what you are doing, they can stop you. They may not like it, or may just be a dick. Even worse, you may be a defeatist, or have a horrible bastard sub conscious, so you may even self defeat! Neither are good, they prevent sucess. The simple answer is to have NO IDEA waht you are doing. Nobody else knows, and you don't know. They cannot stop you with any more certainty than you can stop yourself. You are now UNDEFEATABLE. Sister concepts are CYA (cover yo ass), and KYFMS.
Beer: It's good. Make some time to hang around with your buddies and drink some. Play games and don't talk about anything heavy.
Doing Shit: Exercising WTF and UNSTOPABILITY is worthless if you basement dwell and sockfuck. Be active.
Don't be a Dick: Don't fuckign split hairs about it, just don't.
12/24: Chreaster Eve: STAY OFF THE ROADS. Everyone's crazy today, more than usual are heading to church. Less a Holiday than a suggestion.
12/25: Everyone Else is Out of Work Day: High Holiday of the Sacrement of Beer, which lasts until New Years.
7/4: HOLY SHIT Day: Someone gave the apes explosives! Hit the deck! High Holiday of UNSTOPABILITY, since you may need it to survive.
10/1: September's Over Day! : The weather MAY be nice. High Holiday #2 of Doing Shit
3/15: Fucking enough already: February's pretty much gone! Practice Don't Be a Dick, since that month's a bummer.
End-ish of April: Chreaster Day: Watch more people head to church than usual.
5/1: May Day: High Holiday #1 of Doing Shit, and the kickoff of summer in some hemispheres. While note exclusive to this holiday, this should mark a period of being mindfulness to be commiting the sacrements of Doing Shit and Beer.
Every Day: Watch Out for New Religions Day: If you get an idea for a new church / religion, be careful with it. Even a few casual mentions may get converts or t-shirts made up of it.