Roger and Cramulus: I curse you both to have a shared dream experience in which you participate in questionable behaviors with one another.
LMNO: I curse you with a cold breeze to add some shrinkage to your whisky dick.
Nigel: I curse you with a slight but persistent feeling that there is a hair on your tongue.
EoC: You are cursed by extra thick ear hair, unless you can consume three or more cans of Clamato before new years, after which the effect becomes permanent.
Twid: I curse you with Hipster-Flu. I'd tell you what the symptoms are, but you probably wouldn't get it.
I'll spare Suu and Richter. They already have to share a state with me.