Author Topic: WHO ARE WE? 2011  (Read 2278 times)

LMNO, PhD (life continues)

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WHO ARE WE? 2011
« on: December 28, 2010, 08:55:44 pm »
We're the Social People. People friending people. Informing our friends with how many they are. What they are. A numbers game. The more friends, the luckier they should feel to be one of those people. The group everybody wants to be part of. Your friends. Your people. The people that should know you're walking your dog. Instantly. Directly connected via the Web. Close to you. Just a few sticky strands away. Closer than would be possible or comfortable in reality. Our Tubes provide their nourishment. Always and everywhere.

We’re the FARMVILLE people.  We're the people that farm your time.  Because you weren't doing anything with it anyway, right?  We make everything happy, even stoop-labor sharecropping.  Because if you can't BE a farmer, you can FEEL like one.  It's like the old days, only without all that annoying productivity.  We'd like to take you back to a simpler time, when farming took only a few hours a day.  Who are we?

We're the FOURSQUARE people.  We know where you are, we know who you're with.  We can track you within a three meter radius.  We know when you've left your phone at home, and we know that you shouldn't be taking that right on red.  We know you're cheating on your wife, and we can track you from work to the porn shop on 86th street to home.  We can locate you, your family, and your pets.  Who are we?

We're the 3G people, the network people.  You're in our phone network, checking your social network, staying perfectly still in that fragile overstretched web.  Can't struggle or it'll break, can't revolt or you're just falling.  We are contact, we are social livelihood, and as far as you know we always have been.  Your kids have only ever known it this way and you can't remember when it wasn't.  You can't remember a phone call as something you did for an activity instead of something you did while doing something else.  You can't remember agreeing to meet at a specific time and place in advance of leaving your house, can't remember planning.  Who are we?

We're the people who give you what you need.  E-warmth.  E-Friends.  A place to put up all the private details of your life for the world to see.  Think of it this way:  Before, you had to go to great pains for strangers to get pictures and details about your children, and now you can do it in just minutes a day!  In your grandfather's day, stalkers and pedos were really hard to come by, but now you can have them all with just the click of a mouse, thanks to our state of the art technology and utter lack of annoying ethics!  Who are we?

Who's Big Brother?  

Not us.  We just provide the service.  That's what we do.  Sure you might have to look at a few tiny adds, but those are easy to ignore.  In fact, tell us if you don't liek them.  We'll find some better ones for you.  

You chose to use the service.  You wanted to.  You thought it looked fun.  
Have a weird view, or don't like somethign that's happeneing?  Please log in, post an update about it!  We're the people that provide the milieu.  Jsut so you can play with it.  Jsut so we can watch you play.  

We're the line you follow.  Routes are hard and streets are confusing, especially because they're the last damn thing you had to think about dynamically.  There's a bright green line on the same screen that has your friends' smiling faces.  Just keep on that line.  You don't need to choose your own route and if you can't manage to do it we'll fix that line for you to follow again.  Don't stray, and give us your rapt attention.  There are beautiful things out the windows and relaxing daydreams to be had that'll only serve to get you irrevocably lost.  Then you're in a right fiasco because all the faces not on our screen are out to get you and none of them know the way even if you asked because they're following their own lines.  Listen to the voice that comes with the line.  It'll make you feel less alone.  Who are we?

edit by 000: you copied a spelling mistake from OB (jsut/just), figured it'd be easier to just go and correct it than post about it.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2010, 02:33:45 pm by Triple Zero »
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The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2010, 09:00:36 pm »
1.  We need more.

2.  Record your bit and get it to me.  (mp3 preferred).

3.  I will compile it and add video, credits, and a tip of the hat to Michael Peppe.
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

Richter

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2010, 09:20:42 pm »
We're the web 3.0 people. We'll bring you the sights, the sounds, the sneak peak trailers right after this message.  The helpful adds that pop up when you roll over our banner, the seperate windows referring you to products associated with highlighted words.  Any marketing is good marketing, and we'll put good marketing anywhere.  Remember those web pages you used to surf?  Isolated islands and webrings hooked up only by links?  No need to use that now.  We'll show you the things that are the best matches to what you want, right at the tip of your search engine.
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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2010, 09:23:49 pm »
We're the beginning.  We're upstart, fledgling.  A decade ago you would have laughed if we'd told you where we'd be today.  Just like you'd recoil in horror if we could tell you where we'll be a decade from now.  That isn't how we work, though.  When that day is actually here, you'll hardly blink an eye.  Who are we?
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Eater of Clowns

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2010, 09:48:12 pm »
Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2010, 09:48:38 pm »
Fuck yeah
"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2010, 10:21:29 pm »
This is all good stuff!

Jasper

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2010, 10:23:06 pm »
Aagh, makes my skin creep.

themenniss

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2010, 10:30:44 pm »
We are your workmates. We get on with things, like we tell ourselves we should, and so should you. Who are we?
'I talk aloud to all those who listen. when nobody does, i talk aloud to myself.'

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2010, 01:09:45 am »
I knew what this was going to be when I saw the thread title and I was not disappointed.

Fuck. Yes.
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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2010, 01:31:46 am »
I can't contribute, but I must voice my approval, not that you needed it, anyway. Rock on.

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2010, 06:52:46 am »
Recorded my parts this evening.  Hated them, deleted them.  Will try again tomorrow.
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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Richter

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2010, 02:37:42 pm »
We're the hip people.  The smiling faces in all those club night pictures you see three friends over from your.  The party people.  The ones having the good time at places you'll enver be allowed into, drinking the good drinks.  The noise is never loud to us and the crowd never a problem for us.  We're happy.  If you measure up, we might let you join us.
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Triple Zero

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2010, 02:51:24 pm »
Fuck Yeah. So glad this took off :D

I shall record my bit as soon as I figure out how to make a relatively noise-free recording. My netbook microphone is pretty crappy, it seems. LMNO, I'm using Audacity--is the Noise Removal effect any good? I suppose I should record 10 sec of silence before or after I start speaking, so that I can use it as a noise profile. Although I can probably borrow a slightly better microphone from somebody, as well :)

Also, Audacity just crashed on me. I remember that was the reason I stopped using it a few years back as well. I suppose it's a Linux issue, as I never heard you complain about it.

Also also, hope you don't mind me correcting your copypaste of Richter's spelling error, I was feeling pedantic, and figured I best correct it before someone copies it further.

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Triple Zero

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Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2010, 03:04:05 pm »
Ok first try, noise removal seems to work pretty well, but I'll borrow a better mic and do better than this:

http://devio.us/~tripzilch/social-people-v1.mp3
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