Author Topic: Human Flesh 101  (Read 2650 times)

Sir Bearington

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Human Flesh 101
« on: July 24, 2012, 08:41:44 pm »


With all the zombie flesh eating cannibalism going around, i wonder what human flesh actually tastes like, i believe that if cooked and prepared properly it is a very tender and succulent meal although the skin is thin and may contain a lot of blood.

My estimations are that it would be best roasted until it is well done and the blood drained. And may taste slightly like pork mixed with chicken.

What would you say?

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2012, 09:07:25 pm »
I would say between the average diet of the western world and the quality of meat in general it would be very unhealthy to eat at best if not completely rancid to the taste.
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Sir Bearington

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2012, 09:26:28 pm »
I would say between the average diet of the western world and the quality of meat in general it would be very unhealthy to eat at best if not completely rancid to the taste.

Maybe you are simply not adventurous enough or appear to be eating the human penis

Im sure a arm lashed with BBQ sauce and grilled would taste delicious.

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2012, 09:29:54 pm »
The meat of humans are also unhealthy to eat because it's full of diseases and viruses that humans are susceptible to.  This is an especially big concern if the meat you are eating came from a person that lives in a different area you do, where they have different viruses than where you live. 

Also, eating brains causes brain flukes.  Feeding ground up bits up unusable cow bits (like the brains) is what caused mad cow disease.
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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2012, 09:30:36 pm »
I have heard that burning people smells exactly like pork, so that's probably what it tastes like.
Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial increases in corpse production.

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2012, 09:31:59 pm »
Check out the thread in this subforum called Taboo Soup, btw.  You're late to the party on this one.
Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial increases in corpse production.

Sir Bearington

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2012, 09:34:10 pm »
Check out the thread in this subforum called Taboo Soup, btw.  You're late to the party on this one.

I was thinking more "human hogroast"

Im sure i could disinfect quite a lot of the meat by properly cooking and taking precautions, also i could discard the organs and eat the safer parts of the body like the fingers and the toes.

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2012, 09:35:24 pm »
Maybe you are simply not adventurous enough or appear to be eating the human penis
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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2012, 09:36:57 pm »
Ugh, no no no.  Fingers and toes?  Are you stupid or something?  Those are the parts where there'd be the least amount of meat, and it would be the stringiest and toughest.  Go for an outer thigh (inner, at least on most women I know, would be too fatty).  They look juicy and tender even when they're still moving around.
Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial increases in corpse production.

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2012, 09:40:59 pm »
I would say between the average diet of the western world and the quality of meat in general it would be very unhealthy to eat at best if not completely rancid to the taste.

Maybe you are simply not adventurous enough or appear to be eating the human penis

Im sure a arm lashed with BBQ sauce and grilled would taste delicious.
most shit meat tastes better with bbq sauce, that is kind of the the point of bbq sauce, to hide flavour.
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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2012, 09:42:55 pm »
The cannibals on the Marquesas Islands in Polynesia called it Long Pig.
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Vaud

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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #11 on: July 25, 2012, 01:20:43 am »
 :lulz:
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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #12 on: July 25, 2012, 02:00:49 am »
Slice asscheeks against the grain, pound them tender, cut into strips, soak in milk for 30 minutes, season, coat with flour and deep fry quickly in very hot oil. Drain on paper towels.
Voila - ass fingers.
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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #13 on: July 25, 2012, 05:30:30 am »
Either a lean ham, smoked and cured, or a fatty young butt roast, braised in whiskey sauce for four to six hours until fork-tender, served with beer gravy.

Most Americans are pretty sedentary, so you'd want to be taking advantage of cooking methods which maximize the advantages of a fatty cut. Cured belly, fried crisp and served with spicy rice and collard greens.

Look for diabetics for a unique, delicate, sweet-flavored meat. Withhold insulin for a couple of days prior to butchering for the best results.

If you want to roast a whole person, a charcoal pit roast is best, and make sure you use a very young one, no more than ten or eleven at most. Leave the skin on and open him or her from anus to jawbone so they can be wired flat to a grating that you will lower into the pit before covering; this will ensure the most even cooking. A lot of the fat will drain off, but a great deal will saturate the meat, making it one of the most tender, flavorful roasts you've ever had.
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Re: Human Flesh 101
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2012, 05:38:43 am »
Oh!  I got one.  I always do this with my long pork hams.

Preheat oven to 350F (that's 25 kilos in metric).  Trim the thicker parts of the skin off, but leave the fat and thinner sections of skin.  Coat liberally with paprika, seasoned meat tenderizer, onion and garlic powders, freshly ground black pepper, and attach slices of pineapple to the meat with toothpicks.  Don't use colored ones, they'll stain the meat weirdly.  Put some sort of liquid in the bottom so the excess seasonings won't burn and mess everything up.

Cook.  For a ten pound ham, eight hours is slightly too long I think.  Consume with delight.
Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial increases in corpse production.