Author Topic: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)  (Read 5310 times)

Emo Howard

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #45 on: February 13, 2018, 09:34:49 am »
So what do you do with all that carbon when it's, err... full?

Can you just lay it out in the sun and let it ventilate itself, and then reuse it?

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #46 on: February 14, 2018, 12:23:59 am »
So what do you do with all that carbon when it's, err... full?

Can you just lay it out in the sun and let it ventilate itself, and then reuse it?

You stuck it in a "Blue Oven" and crank the temp up to 400+.  In a well-ventilated area.

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #47 on: February 22, 2018, 12:06:37 am »
At work today:

Billy:  "What do you look so grumpy about?"

Me:  "The new guy."

Billy:  "Who, Kevin?  What's wrong with him?"

Me:  "I sent him to fix the blower on roof 3."

Billy:  "And?"

Me:  "He did it."

Billy:  "So, what's the problem?"

Me:  "While he was doing that, he noticed that one of the hot water heaters was out.  So he fixed that."

Billy:  "That's good, right?"

Me:  "And while he was doing THAT, he noticed some dodgy wiring, so he pulled new wire in parallel, opened the circuit, landed the new wires, and yanked the crappy stuff out. While he was in process of doing THAT, he found that the breakers weren't labeled, so he got the print, verified ALL of the circuits, and labeled them with proper placards instead of a sharpy."

Billy:  "Holy crap, it's not even lunch time."

Me:  "I know."

Billy:  "This isn't natural."

Me:  "I know.  And God won't let me have nice things unless he's gonna drizzle crap all over them first, so I am just sitting here and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Billy:  "But what if there isn't another shoe?"

Me:  "Have you learned NOTHING?"

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #48 on: February 24, 2018, 03:24:51 am »

Billy:  "But what if there isn't another shoe?"

Me:  "Have you learned NOTHING?"
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Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #49 on: March 01, 2018, 11:51:01 pm »
At work today:

Me: "I got bored and put a mirror in the scanner and suddenly I'm somewhere where Trump is president and people blame kids for being shot at in school."

Billy:  "I hate you."

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #50 on: March 23, 2018, 01:24:45 am »
So Billy has given his notice.  The sanitation plant offered him $12,000 more a year and a slot as the second shift plant supervisor.

I should be happy for his treasonous good fortune, I suppose.  But I am a jealous and wrathful god, and I have brought him into the think tank I am connected with.  He's got to be horrified by *someone*, after all.

In the meantime, I am gonna ramp the fun up, because I only have until two weeks from tomorrow before he's a vendor and not an employee.  And you know what *that* means.

Yes.  It's time for a dance-off.  A MANDATORY dance-off.  The HR lady says I can't do that but that I should anyway, and that she's participating to lead by example.

So what I need is music that sounds like you SHOULD be able to dance to, but that you actually can't.  Suggestions?

LMNO

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Hoopla

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #52 on: March 23, 2018, 12:55:02 pm »
Funhouse by the Stooges. I’ve tried. It’s a no-go.
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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #53 on: March 23, 2018, 01:02:51 pm »
Funhouse by the Stooges. I’ve tried. It’s a no-go.

Balls.  I mean, it looks like an epileptic fit, but it's possible.

Here's the track, by the way.

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #54 on: March 23, 2018, 01:31:53 pm »
Oh shit. Just realized I was thinking of the wrong song. I meant No Fun by the Stooges. Oops.
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman

LMNO

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #55 on: March 23, 2018, 02:26:20 pm »
Ok, I'll give you that one.  Mid-Tempo, and obscures the back beat.

Doktor Howl

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #56 on: March 24, 2018, 12:52:39 am »
At work today:

Billy:  "Well, when I go to the new job, I won't have to take any shit off you anymore."  (Billy is leaving to run the local sanitation district's second shift)

Me:  "Do you even hear yourself talking?  I am in fact going to give you shit.  Something like 2 tons of shit each and every day.  Your entire career will consist of nothing more than you taking shit off of me.  It's literally your new job description."

Billy:  "..."

Me:  "This is all normal, Billy."

Emo Howard

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #57 on: March 24, 2018, 06:34:53 am »
To be completely honest, I'm not a music person and am probably not the best person to judge what can or cannot be danced to, but for some reason this comes to mind.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH5TZaUTX8A

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #58 on: April 05, 2018, 02:05:16 am »
Billy, Kevin, and I, standing across the street from the transformers and cable nodes.

Kevin:  "So if we pull 3 more strands of fiber optics from the node, we can..."

*dump truck takes the corner wide, smashes the node flat, half the town loses cable and internet*

Billy:  "Or we could just install a new node."

Me:  "Yes, that seems to be the option now."

Kevin:  "DID YOU GUYS JUST SEE THAT SHIT?"

Me:  "Well, yes.  We're not blind."

Kevin:  "THAT DUMBASS JUST SQUISHED $50,000 WORTH OF GEAR."

Billy:  "Yeah.  Saw that."

Kevin:  "THAT'S HALF THE DAMN CITY DISCONNECTED."

Me:  "Obviously."

Kevin: "..."

Kevin:  "This shit doesn't bother you guys?"

Billy:  "This is all normal, Kevin."

Me:  "Just another day in Bastard City."

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Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Reply #59 on: April 05, 2018, 12:51:14 pm »
I like this one.