Friends, I believe we have made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Roberts put on his black robe and wizard’s hat.

Roberts: “Are you ready to take the oath?”

Obama: Oh, I like to play dress up.

Roberts: Me too baby.

Obama: I kiss you softly on your chest.

Roberts: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

Obama: Hey…

Roberts: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

Obama: Funny I still don’t see it.

Roberts: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

Obama: You are the worst Chief Justice ever. This is ridiculous.

Roberts: Don’t f*ck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest legal scholar of the lands.

Roberts: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 President.

Obama: Don’t ever message me again you piece of ****.

Roberts: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

Roberts: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

Roberts: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.

Roberts: Baby?