{"id":36,"date":"2008-03-13T07:30:21","date_gmt":"2008-03-13T15:30:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/cramulus\/1-in-4-women-has-hpv-usually-the-second-one-from-the-left\/"},"modified":"2008-03-13T07:31:48","modified_gmt":"2008-03-13T15:31:48","slug":"1-in-4-women-has-hpv-usually-the-second-one-from-the-left","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/2008\/03\/13\/1-in-4-women-has-hpv-usually-the-second-one-from-the-left\/","title":{"rendered":"1 in 4 Women has HPV. Usually the second one from the left."},"content":{"rendered":"

So according to a recent study…<\/a><\/p>\n

1 in 4 women have the human papilloma virus<\/strong>,\u00c2\u00a0or HPV<\/strong>. As a dude, this is very troubling. How can I keep myself protected from this epidemic? If I catch HPV, does that make me a girl? If you’re as terrified as I am<\/a>, you will be relieved that I have published this extremely brief<\/strong> and failproof<\/strong> guide.<\/p>\n

Whenever four women are next to each other, the one with HPV is the second one from the left<\/strong>.\u00c2\u00a0This\u00c2\u00a0is\u00c2\u00a0completely\u00c2\u00a0reliable\u00c2\u00a0and\u00c2\u00a0always accurate. Don’t believe me? Confirm the evidence, below:<\/p>\n

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OBVIOUSLY.<\/p>\n

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Yeah, you can tell she’s been around the viral block.<\/p>\n

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Not only does she have<\/em> HPV, she loves<\/em> HPV.<\/p>\n

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You can tell by the crossed legs. And her position in the line, of course.<\/p>\n

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Not even these Elven children are safe. Elves\u00c2\u00a0age\u00c2\u00a0differnetly\u00c2\u00a0than\u00c2\u00a0humans, of course.\u00c2\u00a0Believe it or not, these\u00c2\u00a0are\u00c2\u00a019-year\u00c2\u00a0old\u00c2\u00a0co-ed\u00c2\u00a0nymphomaniacs.<\/p>\n

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Obvious HPV is Obvious.<\/p>\n

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Did you know you can get STDs from the 1980s?<\/p>\n

If you said yes, you’re wrong<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

But you can<\/em> get STDs from hair metal so USE PROTECTION.<\/p>\n

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Well, that\u00c2\u00a0about wraps\u00c2\u00a0up\u00c2\u00a0this\u00c2\u00a0week’s Field\u00c2\u00a0Guide\u00c2\u00a0to\u00c2\u00a0Jesus<\/a><\/strong>.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0Next time, be more careful<\/strong> and we won’t need to have these talks.<\/p>\n

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Good\u00c2\u00a0night, and good thrusting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So according to a recent study… 1 in 4 women have the human papilloma virus,\u00c2\u00a0or HPV. As a dude, this is very troubling. How can I keep myself protected from this epidemic? If I catch HPV, does that make me a girl? If you’re as terrified as I am, you will be relieved that I … Continue reading 1 in 4 Women has HPV. Usually the second one from the left.<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,63,65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-science","category-society"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.principiadiscordia.com\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}