Rev Roger, MSY32: A Shit-Rain of DUMB.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sometimes people just smell so awesome that it's almost impossible to realize they're wastes of skin.

[LMNO]

Nigel, that almost brought me to tears.

Cuz it's so heartbreakingly true.

[Jasper]

It's very true.

And I hate that in-between where you're kind of in love still, but vaguely realize the person's a failure.

[LMNO]

this is going into my nanowrimo, somehow.

[Dr Goofy]

Roger first off I wanna complement your writing because I have read so little being new, it is beautiful!

Now there are many reasons people go down the wrong path, as Nigel said the person smells so awesome they can't see the waste of skin, feeling they can't do better, or the fear of being lonely. Another option is they know this person is a waste of time, they understand everything that is going on, some even realize that they can do better. The problem lies in a fear of doing better, Succeeding, actually living up to others standards. Some people feel if they keep low standards they can never let anyone down. So they will stick with the low life and be tortured because some where in the back of their mind they feel the deserve it, and had it coming to them. As an outside spectator sometimes it is hard to see that, because it makes no logical sense. The act of Self Sabotage, sad thing indeed.

[Bu🤠ns]

i suppose you could feel alive in all kinds of fucked up ways.

[Jenne]

Personally, I think it's a form of self-degradation.  Where you either 1) don't feel you can do better or 2) deserve better or 3) need better.

Very sad indeed, and it happens all around me, all the time. 

[Honey]

Alas, alack, aday & ofuk, I've known people to be caught in this trap (2 spring to my mind immediately).  Sad stuff.  Sometimes my first (quickest) reaction when confronted is, "Get a hobby."  Don't say that out loud tho & when you care about the person, it's not that simple.  & I dunno how to offer help to them?  I'm there for them is all.  A holiday from what ails?  A brief escape?  Sanctuary however transitory?  I try.  The 2 friends that bounce to mind (or sometimes end up on my doorstep), Suz & Mike, seem to appreciate the vacation.  Doesn't seem to help in the long run tho.

All I know is what has worked for me in the past.  & I do listen to others & try to learn or at least pick up the pace.  Sometimes they want to talk, sometimes they want to be distracted (& oh boy I can be distracting at times with my bullshit, crazy ass theories & nonsense notions).  My usual schtick revolves around the concept of how Art (all kinds) has saved me from myself.  & how that has worked for me in the past.

& confused by more conventional knowledge, I seek new techniques.    A former lover & I had a certain expression to express, for lack of a prettier way to describe, horniness.  We (read I) would say "I wannabe sedated."  Aha! A clue! I thought to myself shortly after this relationship ended!  "Music just maybe might soothe the savage beast."  I started listening to The Ramones again (especially that 1 song) & miraculously Art (this time music) saved me again!  No need to get involved in crazy traps & then have to find a way to escape (oh no Not again?).  Listening to music, involving or immersing myself in more creative pursuits rather than the destructive (fear of intimacy my foot!).  & Eureka! 

I have found Art & having a sense of humor has gotten me out of more than a few jams (gotten me into a few as well but let's not get too literal here?) more importantly more often than not it works.  Has gotten me out of a few potential scrapes with some street folk too.  People in desperate need sometimes have serious issues. I have a habit of being in all different kinds of places & associating with a wide mix of people.  Being able to speak the language, having a sense of humor & yes, knowing when & how to run.  Well.  Anyway or how, I have found quoting Shakespeare or Walt Whitman or (when you don't know what else to do?) seems to work just as well as anything else, better even.  Something in the cadence of the words, I think?  Or as you say the words, you just might point to the Moon (if appropriate).  Some say this is crazy & would never work. These people have not tried it tho, so what the hell do they know? In the day time, I have found e.e. cummings to be nearly indispensable in these types of situations. e.e. is especially effective if you can actually show the words on the page. The rhythm of the words, the way they dance or gyrate even (I mean e.e.'s words now) & sometimes these words seem to calm.

whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest!  Just being there for people is all you can do sometimes.  I think it does make a difference. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sounds like Stella is missing a spine. 

That's not meant to be insulting.  When it comes to relationships, most of us monkeys don't have spines.




By the way Roger, I have a musical side project, where one of the tracks is inspired by the "The Whole World's Against Me!" story.  Do you mind if I call the entire album "Millions of Screaming Yahoos"?

Go right ahead.

[LMNO]

Thanks.

[The Dark Monk]

You might also find that the reason of fail is quite simply imitation.
In a lot of cases of divorced parents who have NASTY breakups children simply don't know what to expect or find in a partner. These habits show themselves in situations where the parents couldn't deal with eachother and the situation repeats itself in the childs relationship. That also goes into other habits such as alcoholism, beating, etc through imitation, but those are extreme cases.
Fuck. Who knows.

[Doktor Howl]

Bump for you know who!   

[minuspace]

Yea, again its the violence that carries through.  Not to get clinical, but someone with a narcissistic injury will not generally respect someone trying to help them because they don't think they're worth it in the first place (self-effacing).  I think this results from repressed guilt of (wrongly) taking responsibility for past failures.  By repeating them (mistakes) we are really trying to fix them, for the wrong reasons albeit.  This is just my superficial opinion that ought to require more thought...

-kurtz