The Barstool Experiment

[B_M_W]

 

Also, most of the shit you find in any religion is esoteric bullshit. That doesn't mean its not useful as well.

[hooplala]

Yeah!

[Suu]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lHidSyNF5-c

[Triple Zero]

Revision:  Comments welcome.

Once upon a time, two Serious Minded people were in their local pub, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

Bill pointed out that most of what we consider ‚Äúmatter‚Äù is made up of empty space.  ‚ÄúThe distance between a nucleus, its electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!‚Äù

Joe responded, ‚Äúbut wait‚Ķ As far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nerves.  And all they are doing is claiming certain wavelengths of light have bounced off an object.  But what if the nerves are misfiring, which we all know happen quite often?  So, we can‚Äôt really say whether or not the barstool even exists!‚Äù

Just then, a man approached them and said, ‚ÄúI couldn‚Äôt help but overhear you two talking.  If I may, I have an experiment for you.  Purely in the interest of a Deeper Understanding of the Universe.‚Äù

He then proceeded to pick up the barstool and pummel both Bill and Joe squarely about the head and torso, because they were so obviouly pretentious assholes who deserved a beatdown.

Thus, they were enlightened.

bumpquote for asking LMNO if he could please edit and fix the quotes (they got mangled in some unicode conversion of a boardmove somewhere)

[LMNO]

Revision:  Comments welcome.

Once upon a time, two Serious Minded people were in their local pub, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

Bill pointed out that most of what we consider "matter" is made up of empty space.  "The distance between a nucleus, its electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!"

Joe responded, "But wait-- As far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nerves.  And all they are doing is claiming certain wavelengths of light have bounced off an object.  But what if the nerves are misfiring, which we all know happen quite often?  So, we can't really say whether or not the barstool even exists!"

Just then, a man approached them and said, "I couldn't help but overhear you two talking.  If I may, I have an experiment for you.  Purely in the interest of a Deeper Understanding of the Universe, of course."

He then proceeded to pick up the barstool and pummel both Bill and Joe squarely about the head and torso, because they were so obviouly pretentious assholes who deserved a beatdown.

Thus, they were enlightened.

[East Coast Hustle]

too wordy, but I like it.

[LMNO]

I am one verbose motherfucker.

[East Coast Hustle]

you are a flowing fountain of grandiose eloquence.

[LMNO]

Like Tubgirl, but with words.













Speaking of which, why don't we have the tubgirl smiley?

[East Coast Hustle]

I dunno.

I'm pretty much an absentee slumlord at this point.

[LMNO]

BTW, we have rats the size of Great Danes in the basement.

[East Coast Hustle]

I know.

ECH,
has pet rats IRL too

[saint aini]

Don't we also have cats the size of girls?



Or was it girls who think they are cats?

[LMNO]

Just stop.


Please.

[AFK]

One fine Maine evening, rife with the buzzing of mosquitos and the nearby substation, Chuck and I decided to put in an appearance at Joe's Hole In The Wall to enjoy our favourite spirits.

It came to be that we once again were discussing the finer, and duller, points of the universe and existence.  It was much more appealing than watching the Bruins, yet again, implode upon the TV hanging from the ceiling next to the moose carcass.

Meanwhile a couple of chaps down the bar are also embroiled in their own deep discussion.  

"No man, I'm telling you there's a purple monkey right there on your shoulder"  one shouted.

"Dude, there isn't any stinking monkey on my shoulder.  That's just your 12th Rolling Rock talking." replied the other.

At which point Chuck and I had to interject.

"Excuse me my friend.  But what has you so convinced that there is not a purple monkey on your shoulder?"  Chuck asked.

"I ain't your friend freako!  And besides I don't see any monkey here on my shoulder.  You think I'd notice something like that."

"You assume it's your friend's drunken hallucination that is creating the purple monkey in his mind.  Has it ever occurred to you that it may be your drunken hallucination that is cloaking this very real purple monkey that is now urinating on your red flannel shirt?"  I asked of the man.

"I'm telling you man.  He's right there and this dude's right.  He's pissing all over your new shirt man."

"Here," I said.  And I handed him a book and a knife.  "Here's all that you need to see that which you cannot see."

And, as predicted, he proceeded to stab himself in the shoulder.

No one was particularily enlightened and Chuck and I were yet again banned from another bar.

The End.

I had to fix mine as well.  The Red Sox don't suck ass anymore so I had to change it to the Bruins.