The Barstool Experiment

[Rev. St. Syn, KSC]

I had to teach 8 year olds about matter today.
They wanted to know if god made matter, and if god was matter.
I asked them if god took up space and had mass.
They were not satisified.
So I said..the word god is matter.
Still, no digs.
When you were eight,what would satifisfy you?

You're a teacher? Wait 'till the press gets a load of you posting here.
SCHOOL TEACHER CAUGHT SURFING ONLINE SEX, DEATH & DRUG CULT RING

Max lulz.

Yeah, welcome.

[Mangrove]

ANARCHISTS INFILTRATE LOCAL SCHOOL!!

[Rev. St. Syn, KSC]

NOOEEESS!!!! THEYS TOUCH CHILDREN!!!

[Mangrove]

PD.com - destroying your chances of promotion since 2003

[blankofcourse]

For added fun, I teach in Florida. 
It's cheaper for thrills.
I can get pissed on for my bumper stickers.
1.99 and a dream.

[Cain]

Florida sounds like such a fun place.  I was starting to warm to it after CSI: Miami, too....

Cain,
evil foreign person.

[rabidpigmy]

Depends on the part of Florida. I'm in the Thudhandle.

[blankofcourse]

I'm in the oldest continuously occupied hiltontown

twas the only place that didn't check references :O)

I suppose smilies are frowned upon here

well

[LMNO]

Revision:  Comments welcome.

Once upon a time, two Serious Minded people were in their local pub, having a few pints, and talking about the nature of Universe.

Bill pointed out that most of what we consider “matter” is made up of empty space.  “The distance between a nucleus, its electrons, and the nearest adjacent atom is comparatively large; why, that barstool over there shouldn't even be considered a solid!”

Joe responded, “but wait… As far as we can actually prove, that barstool might simply be a hallucination, for we're not actually seeing the barstool, we're processing electric signals in our heads generated by our optic nerves.  And all they are doing is claiming certain wavelengths of light have bounced off an object.  But what if the nerves are misfiring, which we all know happen quite often?  So, we can’t really say whether or not the barstool even exists!”

Just then, a man approached them and said, “I couldn’t help but overhear you two talking.  If I may, I have an experiment for you.  Purely in the interest of a Deeper Understanding of the Universe.”

He then proceeded to pick up the barstool and pummel both Bill and Joe squarely about the head and torso, because they were so obviouly pretentious assholes who deserved a beatdown.

Thus, they were enlightened.

Quoted for re-jack.

[Cain]

Barstool

[LMNO]

Is that Ann Coulter?

[P3nT4gR4m]

That is fucking SWOTE² Where did you get it? Why isn't it an emoticon already?

[Cain]

Is that Ann Coulter?

No, its "Dr" Gillian McKeith, poop expert.

[Cain]

That is fucking SWOTE² Where did you get it? Why isn't it an emoticon already?

B3ta, only found it 5 minutes ago.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Is that Ann Coulter?

No, its "Dr" Gillian McKeith, poop expert.

Heard a great description of her on the radio last night - "looks like a little baby eagle chick"