AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

[Jasper]

Fucking fluffies!

I can't stand browsing MisticWyx.  [size=9]Whatever[/size].  I tried, just now.  I read a few threads and I think I'm ready to have a seizure.  I'm not sure if I even want to be a part of my generation if it's going to be known for New Age bullshit.  I know, I'll be as devoid of modern culture as possible just to avoid relating to them in any way.  Maybe I'll become the first fucking Discordian Amish, complete with hat and beard.  Have you read the things they say?  They all think they have answers for everything!  They even answer things they acknowlege they haven't answers for!  These people love talking.  These people love saying things that sound fucking wise.  Wise!!  Shit, and I thought wisdom was about not showing off how freaking serene and unique you are, just like everyone else!?  Let's all be goddamn individuals, let's all be so fucking magical and make laughy emoticons at the discordians!  Let's all make mysterious statements about a bloody FOCUS-GROUP ORIENTED SCHTICK OF A RELIGION only a delusioned victim of thier own emotions would subscribe to!  Let's all pay Mol to gander at each other's PUDS!  Let's all this that and the other one, fuck!  You know what?  Moderation be fucked.  I'm sick.  I'm simply not "well".  I think I might be mental, because I live in a society of SANE PEOPLE!  HUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNG, SANITYYY!  Your sanity is a shelved, non-refundable thought management system, and everyone who marries it is widowed by the end of the decade, so there can be a televised situational comedy show about the spirit of your youth!  ACKPTH!  I SPIT, for I taste feces.

Mol, you cunt.  Everywhere I look there are sanctimonious fucking FUCKING FAAACKING EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIOTS wearing pentagrams they purchased at SSANF'S STORE ON RETAIL FOR TEN BUCKS!  EVERYWHERE I LOOK THERE ARE PEOPLE BUYING THE MERCHANDISE OF A FABRICATED CULT!  WHAT THE STEAMING SHIT?

Where's my Darwinatrix?

[P3nT4gR4m]

Neo paganism was the easiest religion in the world to invent. Take the bible then change all the names to fluffy, flower power ones like 'goddess' and 'astarte' and 'pheonix' and 'moon'. Job done. Fuckheads duped. Status quo maintained. Enlightenment is an elite club lets keep it that way. Quit complaining. We should promote wicca and reiki and crystal masturbation and keep the sheep from the door.

[Jasper]

At this point, my best visible option is to enlighten the ones who are confused enough to see it.

When in doubt, fuck you.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Neo paganism was the easiest religion in the world to invent. Take the bible then change all the names to fluffy, flower power ones like 'goddess' and 'astarte' and 'pheonix' and 'moon'. Job done. Fuckheads duped. Status quo maintained. Enlightenment is an elite club lets keep it that way. Quit complaining. We should promote wicca and reiki and crystal masturbation and keep the sheep from the door.

Don't forget the "Burning Times" myth for a dose of self-righteousness.

Seriously, though, have I ever told you guys about the time I visited the Circle Sanctuary?  That was a gag and a half.

[Jasper]

My eyes!  Bastard!

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Oh man, you don't know the half of it.

[Jasper]

I'm sure I could live a perfectly happy life not knowing. 

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Okay, I'll tell the story.

Freshman year in college.  Every freshman has to enroll in a special course.  This one was taught by a ball-busting anthro professor, and it was all about witchcraft. 

Some of it was interesting.  I learned a lot about Voodoo, for example.  But far, far too much was about neopaganism.  I was too ignorant to make any coherent objections then, but it did rub me the wrong way.  I don't think the prof liked it much either but she presented a neutral face like any good teacher.

All the freshmen classes had to go on a field trip.  We went to the Circle Sanctuary.  It was maybe an hour's bus ride away, tucked in what Wisconsinites call hills and Utahns like me call gentle humps.  The roads got narrower and narrower, til I was certain the bus was going to get into something it couldn't get out of.  But finally we broke through the greenery and everyone stumbled off the vehicle, relieved to get moving again.

It was the right time of year, that two weeks or so in Wisconsin where it's neither disgustingly muggy nor bitterly cold.  We were greeted by two typical Wiccans, dumpy women in flowing clothes.  The younger, taller one sported a giant T-shirt with fairies printed all over it and an extra long broomstick skirt.  The older, with ratty grey hair, wearing some sort of tunic and nothing else.  It tied loosely at the sides and exposed a lot when she sat down.  I know this because I ended up sitting next to her in the big circle of chairs inside the roughly finished barn which was the property's only building.  It smelled familiar, a heavy reek which I finally placed as mice run rampant and shitting everywhere.

The two women took turns spouting Wiccan propaganda and singing, then led us up the "hill".  They showed us the cat shrine, the dog shrine, and the deer shrine where they pray for the poor li'l deersies with their icky wasting disease.  They told us to pick up a special rock or something on the way.  Then they took us to the top of the "hill" which had an interesting view of more trees (I guess some people like that sort of thing).  They had us deposit our interesting rocks or something onto the preexisting ring of interesting rocks or somethings.  It was a big ring, about fifteen feet across.  I think their might also have been another pick of interesting rocks in the middle.  Then they had us all join hands, sang some more songs, then had us stand quietly and "commune with nature".  Our silence was greeted by an impressive gust of wind.  Spooky.

They took us down the back way.  They lined us up in an open field and we listened to the older one rant angrily about the Burning Times.  She got really worked up about it.  Then the younger one led us to the fairy shrine and made a heartfelt speech about how she believes in fairies and that at least one or two were watching out for her personally.  Two disconcerting moments where the speaker was speaking more for the benefit of herself than the listeners.  It was weirdly fanatical.

Then they gave us tiny plastic bottles and took us to "St. Brigid's Well".  It was a normal brook infected with normal flagellates, toxic little bastards that made the water too dangerous to drink.  I tried not to laugh too loud. They explained that the ribbons choking the tree branches above the water were supposed to be healing spells of all sorts and invited us to add some if we wanted.  As if we all carried bits of ribbon around in our pockets.  I guess we all left em at home, next to our Wiccan Member's Card.

They sang at us some more, then we piled into the bus and left.  Our teacher admitted to a great deal of discomfort at the singing, to which we all heartily agreed, then we went to Mount Horeb Mustard Museum.  I bought a giant bottle of pure capsacin, so it wasn't an entire waste of a day.

[Cain]

Man, that sucks.

Though the voodoo thing does sound fascinating.  Isn't it Obeah thats meant to be the evil spirits, and the loa of voodoo are more guardians or something?  I admit I know very little.

[Thurnez Isa]

made an interesting post though  :-)

sorry thats all i could say right now
im way too drunk and vulnerable right now

[Thurnez Isa]

Man, that sucks.

Though the voodoo thing does sound fascinating.  Isn't it Obeah thats meant to be the evil spirits, and the loa of voodoo are more guardians or something?  I admit I know very little.

i always woshed i knew more too

[BADGE OF HONOR]

I'd tell you but I've forgotten it all.  I ended up failing that class anyhow.

[Cain]

So you're probably not the person to ask.  Time to take a Wiki course in Voodoo then.

[Thurnez Isa]

had a book on it somewhere
if you have specific question i coulld look it  up..
havent read it but has index

[BADGE OF HONOR]

I have the book about Mama Lola, the premier voodoo worker in the U.S.  I've seen her speak, too.  She can't read.