Author Topic: Ominous Fortune Cookie  (Read 11325 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« Reply #75 on: January 26, 2019, 12:01:18 am »
If you hunger for enlightenment, try an ice cream koan.

 :lulz: gonna remember that one!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Al Qədic

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Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« Reply #76 on: January 26, 2019, 02:30:22 am »
Here we find paper scraps, found among the remnants of a dinner for a party of six at a local Chinese buffet. Three generations gathered for an Americanized meal, and while the greasy food was satisfactory, the heavy ink on a few slips of paper was apparently too much for the sensibilities of dear old Aunt Gertrude and her feeble heart. Yes, this is just a local Chinese buffet, where the investigation is ongoing, the cookie manufacturers are unavailable for comment, the kung pao is delicious, and mysteries abound. This is The Twilight Zone.

Cookie #1: "Everything you know is wrong."
Cookie #2: "Black is white."
Cookie #3: "Up is down."
Cookie #4: "Short is long."
Cookie #5: "Everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter."
Cookie #6: "All right Al, enough is enough. Give the trained fortune-cookie-fortune-writing monkey his typewriter back. This is your first warning. --Mr. Wheeler, head of HR"
O, the Frog fell down to Tehran.
To fix the broken hourglass in the sun.
From the gates, to the city, to the market so pretty,
They'd not leave until they were done.

Said the Goddess to the Frog,
"You'd best be moving along."
So sayeth the water, the words of Anahita,
But the Frog just made themselves a bog.

And lo, they said:

"May I have your shoes, miss?
O great Water Goddess,
I've a journey that I need to start."
She responded from her knowing, wise heart.

With this, said the Goddess,
"Go now, take these shoes with."
And covered their webbed feet with glee.
"You'll do good not to disappoint me."

Thank you for completing the free trial. To view the rest of this poem, nag me about it...I might not respond by giving you the rest of it, but when has that ever stopped you?

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Ominous Fortune Cookie
« Reply #77 on: May 03, 2019, 02:20:36 am »
With enough Prozac you can overcome any hardship
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

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