News:

Urgh, this is what I hate about PD.com, it is the only site in existence where a perfectly good spam thread can be misused for high quality discussions.  I hate you all.

Main Menu

Random News Stories

Started by Thurnez Isa, December 29, 2006, 04:11:55 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Scribbly

I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Brother Mythos

#4726
"Switzerland to become a net importer of cheese this year for the first time"

As per the article:

"Switzerland will import more cheese than it exports this year for the first time, according to the head of the country's dairy association.

The opening up of the Swiss milk market has put a squeeze on domestic producers in recent years, prompting some to give up, Boris Beuret told Geneva-based newspaper Le Temps in an interview published Saturday.

Beuret said measures need to be taken to ensure Switzerland — famous worldwide for high-quality cheese varieties such as Gruyère and Emmentaler — can continue to produce for its own population."

Now, the Swiss are legendary for their organizational skills. It shouldn't really take an American to tell them they simply need to issue more temporary foreign worker visas to foreign cows to solve their problem. After all, both German and French are official languages of Switzerland. So, how hard could it be to hire German and French cows to do the work that Swiss cows are no longer willing to do?

Here's the link:   https://apnews.com/article/switzerland-cheese-imports-exports-trade-39462fdb0269c5953d42f4f0d1ff8f72

(Corrected typo.)
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Faust

Your typo was a far more interesting story, disappointed now
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Brother Mythos

Quote from: Faust on July 18, 2023, 08:16:37 PM
Your typo was a far more interesting story, disappointed now

I apologize for waking you.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"Texas Pageant Star Is Now an 'Emotional Support Stripper' in Ukraine"

As per the article:

"KHARKIV, Ukraine—The war in Ukraine has attracted a wide range of Western volunteers to the country, from frontline soldiers to aid workers delivering critically needed supplies.

But an Instagram influencer from Houston, Texas, who moved to Ukraine as the war raged, is the only one describing herself as an "emotional support stripper."

Further in the article:

"Koung has used her social media presence to create an OnlyFans account that is free for Ukrainian soldiers, volunteers, and the occasional local civilian who she thinks could use some cheering up."

Now, that job title is a new one for me. I wonder if the airlines have any restrictions concerning this type of emotional support companion. I would hope they're more acceptable on a plane than snakes, lizards, and tarantulas. 

WARNING - This article may be NSFW, and may fall under PD.com's PG-13 content rating code. So, click at you're own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED. Here's the link:   https://www.thedailybeast.com/texas-pageant-princess-fan-pei-koung-is-emotional-support-stripper-in-ukraine-war?ref=home - WARNING
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

'SCHOOL' misspelled as 'SHCOOL' on Massachusetts road

As per the article:

""Officials in a Massachusetts town said "SCHOOL" was supposed to have been painted on the road outside a middle school, but the word was accidentally misspelled as "SHCOOL."

The Town of Holden said the word, a warning about the reduced speed limit outside Mountview Middle School, was painted about two weeks ago and contractors have been unable to correct it due to the recent weather conditions."

Now, if this had happened in Floriduh, I wouldn't have been at all surprised. But, somehow, I expected more from Massachusetts. For one thing, after having to learn how to spell the name of your own state, learning how to spell the word 'school' really shouldn't have been all that difficult. I hope none of the people who did this have side hustles as tattoo artists. 

Here's the link:   https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2023/07/28/Mountview-Middle-School-road-misspelled-shcool/2641690564527/
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"Central Florida is a hot spot for leprosy, report says"

As per the article:

"According a research letter published by Nathoo and his colleagues in the journal Emerging Infectious Diseases, Central Florida has reported among the highest rates of leprosy in the United States.

In 2020, 159 cases were reported nationwide, compared with 200,000 new cases each year around the world, according to the World Health Organization. The new letter says Central Florida accounted for 81% of cases in Florida and nearly 1 out of 5 leprosy cases nationwide.

Also known as Hansen's disease, leprosy is caused by the bacteria Mycobacterium leprae, which attacks nerves under the skin. Scientists aren't completely sure of how it spreads, but most believe that it's transmitted via droplets when an infected person coughs and sneezes. Its telltale symptoms include lesions and rashes that are numb or lack sensation because of the involvement of nerves.

Nine-banded armadillos in the Southeastern United States can also carry the bacteria, and gene studies have linked human infections to the leprosy strains carried by armadillos, although it's not always clear how humans encounter armadillo-carried bacteria. Many patients can't recall ever having contact with the animals."

So, there's yet one more reason to avoid Floriduh. Oh, and I'm steering clear of armadillos too.

Here's the link to the article:      https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/01/health/leprosy-central-florida/index.html
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"Illinois fights gun lobby to ban marketing guns to little kids"

This article is an introduction to a video segment from Rachel Maddow's show on Monday night.

As per the article:

"Rachel Maddow takes a look at the "JR-15," a small, lightweight gun designed for use by small children, and company's effort to appeal to little kids with their marketing. Illinois is hoping to ban such marketing over the objections of gun lobbyists, Rachel Maddow reports."

Immediately after watching Rachel Maddow's show on Monday night, I went on the internet to find the website of Wee1 Tactical, the manufacturer of the JR-15. But, their website was down.

My search did, however, find the article on the Snopes website that completely confirmed Rachel Maddow's report.

Then, Tuesday evening, I attempted to again view the Wee1 Tactical website. This time around the website was up, and what I found is quite interesting. It now appears that Wee1 Tactical has revised their marketing strategy, as the "skull and crossbones-style logos, with what appeared to be a little boy skull wearing a mohawk and with an eyepatch and green pacifier, and a little girl skull with pigtails, eyepatch, and pink pacifier" are completely gone. 

It's amazing what Rachel Maddow's national exposure of this excrement accomplished.

Here's the link to the Maddow article and video clip:      https://news.yahoo.com/illinois-fights-gun-lobby-ban-053107651.html

Here's the link to the Snopes article:       https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jr-15-real-rifle-designed-children/

And, here's the link to the sanitized Wee1 Tactical website:      https://wee1tactical.com/
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"Man gets DUI for allegedly riding horse while drunk with open container of alcohol"

As per the article:

"The rules of the road apply to those operating animals on the highway."

As per further in the article:

"In what officials called a "display of true compassion," Officer Brackett subsequently ensured the safe return of the horse to its origin after the arrest of the horseback rider."

So, in this case, the horse he rode in on was not insulted, not arrested, did not have to post bail, and did not have to obtain a court-appointed defense attorney.

Here's the link:   https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-gets-dui-allegedly-riding-horse-drunk-open/story?id=103178670
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"A Ukrainian Officer's Captured Russian Tank Wasn't Working. So He Called Tech Support—In Russia."

As per the article:

"The T-72B3, a product of Uralvagonzavod in Nizhny Tagil, is one of Russia's newer tanks. And unlike, say, the T-64BV, the T-80U or the T-72AMT, Ukrainian industry doesn't have much experience with the type.

So when a Ukrainian tanker with the callsign "Kochevnik" ran into problems with his captured Russian T-72B3—problems local expertise couldn't immediately solve—he called Uralvagonzavod tech support. And incredibly, the help line actually helped.

Militarnyi captured Kochevnik's calls on video."

I doubt the Russian tank's warranty is transferable to its new owner, but I'm certain Ukrainian tanker "Kochevnik" has chutzpah.

Here's the link:   https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidaxe/2023/10/01/a-ukrainian-officers-captured-russian-tank-wasnt-working-so-he-called-tech-support-in-russia/?sh=83f465113a89
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"Beer belly wrestling, 'evading arrest' obstacle on tap for Florida Man Games"

The competitions are themed according to the phenomenon known as "Florida Man."

As per the article:

"It ain't the Olympics, but a group of Floridians plan to host competitions themed according to the collective antics of the beer-loving, gator-possessing, rap-sheet heavy, mullet-wearing social media phenomenon known as "Florida Man.""

As per further in the article:

"Among the contests planned for next February in St. Augustine, Florida, according to organizers, are the Evading Arrest Obstacle Course in which contestants jump over fences and through yards while being chased by real police officers; the Category 5 Cash Grab in which participants try to grab as much money in a wind-blowing booth; and the self-explanatory beer-belly wrestling."

So, let the games begin!

Here's the link:   https://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/wireStory/beer-belly-wrestling-evading-arrest-obstacle-tap-inaugural-104284308
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"Don't put that rhinestone emblem on your car's steering wheel, US regulators say"

As per the article:

"U.S. regulators are warning drivers to steer clear of aftermarket decals used to embellish a car's logo on the center of its steering wheel.

Such metal or plastic emblems — which are typically adorned with rhinestones or other decorations and attached to the steering wheel with an adhesive back — can cause serious injury if ejected when the airbag deploys in a crash, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said Monday.

At least one driver lost sight in one eye after an aftermarket decal covered in rhinestones became dislodged from the wheel during a crash and hit them in the face, NHTSA added."

First they came for my fuzzy dice, and now this! Well, at lease I still have my trusty suicide knob.

Here's the link:   https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/put-rhinestone-emblem-cars-steering-wheel-us-regulators-104664272
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"Pleasantly disgusting:" Who's buying all those Thanksgiving-flavored sodas and snacks?

"From Jones Soda's Turkey and Gravy flavor to TJ's Stuffing Seasoned Popcorn, Thanksgiving has hit the snack aisle"

As per the article:

"Every year, in anticipation of Thanksgiving, Jones Soda rolls out its collection of seasonal-themed beverages. The brand's soda flavors aren't anything like your classic Sierra Mist or Orange Crush. In fact, they're quite the opposite. Think savory, dinner-themed sodas — mashed potatoes, green beans and stuffing are just a few menu items that are served up as fizzy drinks.

Jones Soda's most popular Thanksgiving-flavored offering is the Turkey and Gravy soda, which is exactly what its name suggests. Of course, It's only natural to wonder why someone would be compelled to spend more than $45 on a soda that sounds far from appetizing. But surprisingly, many people do."

And, further along in the article:

"Jones Soda is just one of many brands that have jumped on an ongoing trend of snacks centered around classic Thanksgiving flavors. Unlike most holiday-themed foods, Thanksgiving snacks push the limits of wacky food pairings. There's American Roasted Turkey Flavor Cheetos, which are interestingly a unique flavor only found in China, but available for purchase via online retailers in the states. There's Pillsbury's turkey-shaped sugar cookies and Goldfish's Dunkin' Pumpkin Spice Grahams — two snacks that are more conventional than far-fetched. And there's Jones Soda's Sugar Cookie-flavored drink, which comes in a pack with the Turkey and Gravy soda... because nothing screams Thanksgiving like dinner followed by dessert."

I'll politely pass on most of the sodas and snacks mentioned in the article. But, I have to admit, I'd be willing to give those American Roasted Turkey Flavor Cheetos a try. 'Merica! No, wait ... China!

Here's the link:   Thanksgiving Flavored Sodas and Snacks
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

"U.S. plumber bracing for 'Brown Friday' after Thanksgiving"

As per the article:

"A plumbing company is warning U.S. residents about "Brown Friday," the day after Thanksgiving, which is the busiest of the year for plumbers.

Roto-Rooter said Brown Friday marks the busiest day of the year, averaging 50% more calls than the average Friday. Thanksgiving weekend overall averages 21% more calls for service than the average Thursday-Sunday period."

So, now we have "Black and Brown Friday". Swell.

Here's the link:   'Brown Friday' after Thanksgiving
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Brother Mythos

'Who Killed JFK?' Rob Reiner says he solved assassination"

I can't help but wonder, what are the odds Rob Reiner will reveal that it was really Harold Canvera from Chicago?

Here's the link:   Rob Reiner Says He Knows Who Killed JFK
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.