Random News Stories

[P3nT4gR4m]

 I keep going back to the military grade encryption clusterfuck in the early 90's what the US officially said was something along the lines of "using 128bit encryption will be considered as an act of war against murrica" What the hackers heard was "We are really dumb and your simple algorithm that any first year computing student could scribble down on the back of a fag packet scares the living shit out of us"

Now we have vpns, proxy networks (which essentially reiterate the fact that the internet is highly non-geographical in operation) and, just arrived, the blockchain (it's about more than money) and we would appear to be in an arms race. Now, in a physical arms race, very few would argue that the US is the crown heavyweight champion of the galaxy but in cyberspace they're a very small plankton in a very big pond where the sharks outnumber them a couple of million to one.

They're just about capable of putting the squeeze on joe blogs who only uses t'internets for facebook and email but anyone who wants to do harm could very easily muster a "cyber military" capability an order of magnitude more powerful than anything the government could even imagine but, hey, they're government, they have a hardon for governing. They're control freaks with no hope of keeping a lid on the digital theatre.

The problem they face is that, in physical space, if you want to attack or defend against the US, there's logistics involved. How do I get enough guns and bombs and tanks and subs to launch a counter offensive? The anwer is - in my dreams. I want a digital nuke, however? Much more straightforward. If there isn't anything decent on darknet, I can always write one. And that is true of 3 billion or so other primates.

For some reason they seem determined to start this fight, tho. Hell mend them. They're bringing a massive network of surveillance vectors into play. Once deployed these surveillance vectors are belong to us. Same with their drones. If they lose a gun in battle, it's no biggie. One bad guy gets a gun. They lose an algorithm? Everyone gets a copy

[Cain]

I think you severely underestimate the NSA's capabilities.

The US Senate doesn't understand this shit.  No surprises there - the average age of a Senator is somewhere in the high 60s.  My grandma didn't understand the internet either.

The NSA, on the other hand does.  And it has access to the full black budget of the United States military to develop whatever code it wants, along with the legal backing to implement - into law - restrictions which undermine overall internet security, weaken protocols and turn the internet into a giant surveillance tool.  Even better - because those in charge don't understand their work, they can do pretty much whatever they want.

Sorry, but a bunch of hackers on the net aren't shit compared to that.  Most audacious hack of the 21st century?  Stunext.  Almost certainly a joint Israeli-American operation.  I haven't seen a non-state actor come close to that.  I haven't exactly seen hackers do much more than (in one notable case) force a surveillance UAV to land.  Big whoop.  Call me when someone actually takes control of a Predator drone.  I don't expect that to happen anytime soon.

The US is also aggressively hacking China, and it has been for the last decade.  If it's hacking China, it's probably hacking everyone else.  China's own cyberwarfare division gets a of press, mostly because delusional western journalists see its hand in every single hack which appears to come from a Chinese IP, but they are actually fairly technically adept and well funded.  And they can't defend against the NSA.

It aint the 1990s anymore.

[Telarus]

[Demolition Squid]

So this is super late but randomly clicking around the Guardian website over coffee this morning...

Seventeen per cent of those questioned, meanwhile, said they would be prepared to "have sex with an android", though 41% thought the notion was "creepy" and a further 14% said robots should not be used in this way.

[Cain]

Cramulus was responsible for at least 56% of those poll results, I'm sure of it.

[LMNO]

More lulz from the Satanists.

In a statement, the Satanic Temple said that it will use the Supreme Court's recent Hobby Lobby decision to exempt its believers from state-mandated informed consent laws that require women considering abortions to read pro-life material.

Because the Satanic Temple bases its belief "regarding personal health...on the best scientific understanding of the world, regardless of the religious or political beliefs of others," it claims that state-mandated information with no basis in scientific fact violates its "religious" beliefs.

The Satanic Temple set up a website where women seeking an abortion can print out a letter for her healthcare provider explaining why she is exempt from informed consent mandates.

[Cain]

The Satanic Temple has been doing some good work lately.

Shame it's still mostly populated by jaded libertarians and neo-Nazi scum.

[LMNO]

Yeah.  Just goes to show, Consequentialism occasionally has its merits.

[Trivial]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/12/gun-nut-yells-at-cops-conducting-dui-checkpoint-later-hit-by-drunk-driver-on-way-home/

So beautiful it includes a trilby.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That guy's irony meter is 100% broken. 

[Junkenstein]

Here's yet another obvious example of BBC bullshittery and why you need to watch that slimy little bastard Boris.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-30308697

Link headline:

Boris Johnson 'calms drunk passenger' on Heathrow flight

First line:

London mayor Boris Johnson attempted to calm down a "drunk" passenger on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Heathrow.

So it's already misleading. And indicates failure.

Third line:

A witness said after several attempts to calm him down, six cabin staff handcuffed him, tied his legs and then strapped him in his seat.

"Several attempts" suggests he tried a lot. Then six other people were required because he failed.

Fourth line:

After he continued to shout, the mayor warned him he would be arrested when the plane landed in London.

So the story is now "man stated obvious thing in public" with no embelishement at all of any further interactions between them.

Fifth line:

Mr Johnson had been posing for pictures with fellow passengers, including the man who was later restrained.

My mistake. He's had previous interactions as part of his ongoing PR campaign. This totally counts as being involved.

Slightly further, and I can't be arsed now:

Mr Oakes said: "The crew took him down the plane and spent an hour or so calming him down.

"He returned to his seat and the whole cabin were nervous. He started ranting.

"They warned him three times and yet he was aggressive... At this point 6 crew pinned him down, cuffed him, tied his legs and strapped him in a seat.

"The man calmed down and started to sober up. However he was still belligerent and at one point rolled down the aisle with his hands in cuffs.

"The mayor laughed the incident off and congratulated the crew for their work, which was excellent."

So where exactly in all of this was Boris? Well from that he was doing fuck all. And yet this will get spun for days on end.

Are you shitting yourselves with anger and fear yet? Look at how you get serious  political power in the UK now and you should be. This jar of shit has built a career on doing less than fucking nothing with the odd photo op. For reference see the "Boris get your broom" shit after the london riots and how him holding a broom for 2 mins was played out for everything it was worth a a bit more.

There's going to be a tale about Cameron and a drunk diver in some way before the new year, I can just fucking smell it.

[Junkenstein]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/12/gun-nut-yells-at-cops-conducting-dui-checkpoint-later-hit-by-drunk-driver-on-way-home/

So beautiful it includes a trilby.

Watkins lashed out at his critics who pointed out the layers of irony in the incident.

"I see a few sick I individuals taken time to think this is a joke or it's funny that the cops helped me," Watkins said. "Let me say this. I am happy the police showed up to catch him but I'm trying to figure out where they helped me any..... Was it the part where they showed up 15 minutes after the crime or was it when they wrote me a 300$ ticket after my car was totaled?"

"Any sick f*ck that thinks this is the time to crack irony jokes can go the hell away," Watkins continued. "I'm lucky to be alive. There are some sick people that try to take a situation and spin it to fit their beliefs when they don't know crap. Some sick people .... Mother f*cker almost dies and people are joking about it. Disgusting."

Wow. That's probably the funniest thing this guy will ever say and he'll never get the joke.

[hooplala]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/12/gun-nut-yells-at-cops-conducting-dui-checkpoint-later-hit-by-drunk-driver-on-way-home/

So beautiful it includes a trilby.

Watkins lashed out at his critics who pointed out the layers of irony in the incident.

"I see a few sick I individuals taken time to think this is a joke or it's funny that the cops helped me," Watkins said. "Let me say this. I am happy the police showed up to catch him but I'm trying to figure out where they helped me any..... Was it the part where they showed up 15 minutes after the crime or was it when they wrote me a 300$ ticket after my car was totaled?"

"Any sick f*ck that thinks this is the time to crack irony jokes can go the hell away," Watkins continued. "I'm lucky to be alive. There are some sick people that try to take a situation and spin it to fit their beliefs when they don't know crap. Some sick people .... Mother f*cker almost dies and people are joking about it. Disgusting."

Wow. That's probably the funniest thing this guy will ever say and he'll never get the joke.

The human mind proves the universe has a sense of humor.

[Demolition Squid]

This is simultaneously the best and worst thing ever - as ways to protest against obscenity laws it is great, just sad that she's been arrested!

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/dec/03/japanese-vagina-kayak-artist-arrested-again-obscenity

A Japanese artist who made a kayak modelled on her own vagina has been arrested again in a case that has sparked accusations of censorship.

"I don't believe my vagina is anything obscene," Igarashi said in a press conference in July after her release, adding: "I was determined I would never yield to police power."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dude.

Vagina kayak would make a great band name.