Ask Bella

[Wishfarple]

The throne of bones doesn't include any Discordian bones, LMNO.

Pfft!  Napalm?  Get creative at least.  *goes and finds the frostiest bitch in Utah and ties her to the top of the house* She'll absorb Napalm and a little bit more...

And, you're right Bella, the Discordian bones are on my necklace =P

I've got a Discordian bone you can sit on!  

[agent compassion]

[Anonymous]

See, if real comics said things like that, I might read them.

[Verthaine]

Sssbela,I seem to be in a bit of a jam.

i'm on Janus 2 in the  Epsilon II system( I'm using a kappa-wave carrier to my human form to get this here)doing consultation work the Janusian Imperial Gov. concerning a rather nasty zombie outbreak.(phd in necrobiology from Misk. U)
Janu 2 had  recently developed trans-d technology.(3 rev. ago.That translates to about 2.5 earth tears.
The first zombie outbreak occured 2 rims(6 months) ago.on the Southern continent(thecity of Grik,pop 2300)
Totally wiped out the town in under 3 rans(2 weeks)
They have pretty much wipe out the souther continet and are only being contained by a force field)Not really keeping them out though.

I've never seen anything like this.

These zombs are nasty.Standard flesh eaters,intellegent,articulate, an very malevolent.
Head shots still work though.
Bels,these mutha f****rs use tactics,tools,weapons,they drive,they can still operate vehicles(not good pilots though.Thank eris for small favors).

Their physical coordination is below living,but they make up for it by being intelligent.

Necropsies show nothing out of the ordinary(for flesh eating zombies anyway) except for minute traces of omicron radiation(yeah,I know,impossible)
Ohh, by the way,anything here that dies thats bigger then a mouse comes back as one of those thing.
Observation(don't have much time)
They never completely devour thier victoms. I believe they want the bodies to be mobile.
They refer to themselve as "the brethren).
I first thought they were non-coporeal beings possesing the recently dead(i:e  demons) but none of the standard banishings work.
I now bekieve that they project their consciousness through an aperture to there dimension,but we can't find it.
Luckily they seem to be unable to survive a trip through a trans-d gate.Everyone we bought through for study has expired the moment it went through.

They can differentiate between "their" kind and other types of zombie.
Those they devour whole.(never saw anything like it)

It's standard SOP to use members of The COE 243th Zombie Core for recon in infested areas.They Didn't stand a chance. They got attacked by a flock of zombie jrems(sorta like 2 headed crows.Had to be about a thousand of them)They just  ate them all.Leaving the brains for last.

There are unsubstantiated rumors of those things raping women,using torture,and other general acts of sadism.

Things are really getting bad here.(don't worry about me, I can get out anytime).
We need a way to wipe them out all at once.Actually thats easy,but doesn't stop any future re-infestation.Nothing prevents being re-animated exept leaving the dimension.I think there is something about the physics in this dimension that allows these things to survive(and thrive here). They are even re-animating in the outlying  space colonies. No evidence of re-animation on other worlds though.

Intell says that they seem to be building their own trans-d gate.Thats not good.Adjoining dimensions are planning on  causing the star here(red giant)
to either go supernova,or implode into a black hole.

Goddess mama,just what in hades are we faceing here?Does anyone know what these things are,and most importantly,how the hell do we get rid of them.

Janus was actually a very nice place.Not bad people at all.Don't want them to become extinct.

[Bella]

Dear Verthaine,

There is only one substance known to the Goddess that will kill these fuckers. Ordinarily, you understand.....I'm on the side of the zombies, but these sound like they're too evil even for me to stomach. Especially when someone from my family is threatened. The problem with these guys is they are boundary breakers and have gone beyond their normal limits and have become a sort of super parasitic endotropic extropiant.

Weird thing is I believe these particular zombies are closely related to those in Utah - hence the name The Brethren. Seriously, I've been having dreams about them for quite some time now, but didn't know how to fit the pieces all together.

The key is in their nature as endotropes. Each individual zombie is an open system composed of many elements in interaction, themselves formed by subsystems of other elements, rather than being in and of itself an individual entity. This means that each and every one of them is not only a member of a group called the Brethren, but each of them is themselves a group or system of Brethren. A super structure, not unlike a beehive.

There is no function without this structure. Break it down and they will die - this is why you are not able to transport them. The process of transportation breaks down the structure that links the various components together. The weakness of this system lies in the realm of genetics and the variables of entries coming from an external medium. In other words you have to find one substance, or a combination of substances which will affect each and every part of the complex organism represented by each individual zombie.

Demonica and I just went into alpha state and we both yelled the word "Sugar" at the same time. Most people don't understand the significance of sugar in the development of the human animal. Here's a bit of background so you can see where I'm coming from, Verthaine. There is a ubiquitous sugar molecule on the cells of humans that differs only by the lack of a single oxygen atom from a cousin sugar commonly found on cell surfaces of our nearest genomic ancestors, the great apes. Thus far, it is the sole genetic difference ,Äî species-wide ,Äî distinguishing man from chimp, orangutan, gorilla and bonobo. And from all other mammals studied so far.

The sugar in question is sialic acid, which has long been known to take two major forms ,Äî Neu5Ac and Neu5Gc. While both have been found in all mammalian cells, including apes, the latter appears only in trace amounts in humans, probably due to meat consumed in the human diet. Thus, while humans are missing this common form of sialic acid, their closest evolutionary cousins ,Äî the great apes ,Äî express it in amounts similar to other animals.

Some scientists are suggesting that this single sugar accounts for the myriad differences between man and ape. And my sister and I feel this is your key. You have to find or manufacture large quantities of Neu5Gc and use it to deanimate the zombies. It will break down the structure of symbiotes that make up each zombie, turning them back into their original humanoid form and rendering them as dead as they should by all rights already be.

Demonica believes the zombies must ingest this sugar in order for all of their components to be deactivated. I'm not too sure, but I know it wouldn't hurt. You can kill the outside of each of the Brethren, just by spraying fire hoses full of water and Neu5Gc over the hordes, covering the ground they walk on with a powdered form, exploding grenades of powdered sugar, etc. Flame throwers that shoot burning sugar are my personal favorite - as the flames will burn through to the internal structure. If they breathe and/or drink, you can put sugar in their water source or spray it into the air. I'm sure your imagination can take over from here.

I hope this helps. Break out the sugar and watch your ass, Verthain. We still need you here on Earth.

Blessings,
Your Goddess Mama

[Drunken Monkey Cabal]

Dear mistress bella

uh ok so my gf came round today and, we well got a bit physical, excpet family was in the house so we didnt take our clothes off, mearly yknw moved them, yknw my flies her skirt etc

but uh yea i kinda have this whitish stain on my jeans, which i know isnt me as obviously used protection so its yknw her. how do i get rid of it as its kinda obvious as to what it is.

[Bella]

Dear DiL,

Are you asking me how to remove that stain from your jeans?
I'm afraid you're out of luck if you are because I'm allergic to housework and laundry and all that stuff.

It gives me hives.  


Seriously

[Drunken Monkey Cabal]

well i thorght as a woman. the whole cleaning thing whould have been hardwired into your brain at birth  

[Bella]

well i thorght as a woman. the whole cleaning thing whould have been hardwired into your brain at birth  

Nope, I'm a slob.  

[Drunken Monkey Cabal]

:O i am disgusted. for shame for shame!!!

i have morals and standards.

i invite my gf round to tidy my room  

[Bella]

:O i am disgusted. for shame for shame!!!

i have morals and standards.

i invite my gf round to tidy my room  

Lucky girl.
You best watch out she doesn't get wise and tidy up by throwing your stuff out.

But yeah, I have my priorities you know. The only time I spend much time cleaning is when I'm unhappy. Otherwise, I'd much rather work in the garden, read a book, cast a few spells, etc.

[Drunken Monkey Cabal]

well she invades my right to privacy by going through my msg inbox and msn convos.
*shrugs*

and you find garden work fun?  

like weeding and planting bulbs and other organic thingys

[Bella]

Yeah, I love working outside in the dirt and mowing the lawn and planting bulbs, growing flowers and herbs and veggies and stuff. Here's my pretty garden:

[East Coast Hustle]

OMG!

you're growing a cat!

[Bella]

OMG!

you're growing a cat!

That's Alice. I've been growing her for about five years now.
She's by far the prettiest thing in the garden.