Ask Bella

[Bella]

Clowns?!?!

First of all, one should avoid the circus at all costs.

If one absolutely must attend circus and is attacked by clowns,  then of course it's best to go for the juggler.
Rip their little clown throats out. Slice and dice them. Wring them out and hang them up to dry.
Stomp them into dust and feed them to the elephants.

I hate to come across as a violent person, but when dealing with clowns, ettiquette is a luxury one cannot afford.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Bella,

If one was at the circus and was attacked by the clowns, would it be best to go for the juggler?

Unsure about clown ettiquette.

[Den Sorte Dragen]

   


OMG


thats was TERRIBLE!!!


someone punish this guy!!!

it wasn´t me

[Guido Finucci]

it wasn´t me

How do you know it wasn't you? You're the kind of guy that'd want it to be you.

[Den Sorte Dragen]

it wasn´t me

How do you know it wasn't you? You're the kind of guy that'd want it to be you.

ask Malaul

[Malaul]

it wasn´t me

How do you know it wasn't you? You're the kind of guy that'd want it to be you.

ask Malaul

actually, I was thinking the same thing, you know youde love to be punished!!! Even if it WASTN something you did      

[Den Sorte Dragen]

it wasn´t me

How do you know it wasn't you? You're the kind of guy that'd want it to be you.

ask Malaul

actually, I was thinking the same thing, you know youde love to be punished!!! Even if it WASTN something you did      

i didn¬¥t ....i swear....make me confess if you like  

[Bella]

Yeah, Malaul......make him confess.


I dare you.

[slothrop23]

dear bella, i seem to have had my eyes poked out, and the sockets damaged, is there anything i can do to make people think there is nothing wrong with me. i ve tried glasses, ive tried being in a boy band, ive tried passing myself off as hulk hogan. please help

[Bella]

dear bella, i seem to have had my eyes poked out, and the sockets damaged, is there anything i can do to make people think there is nothing wrong with me. i ve tried glasses, ive tried being in a boy band, ive tried passing myself off as hulk hogan. please help

Dear Slothrop,

You've had your poor eyes poked out? How sad.
It sure sounds like you've tried all the conventional methods for healing.
I can't quite believe none of them have worked for you.

In this case, it's obviously going to take extreme measures to fix you up.
You're either going to have to get yourself some of those glasses with the googly eyes or try some serious reiki healing.
I recommend both, actually.

PS: you really have to stop playing knifey/spooney, okay?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

dear bella, i seem to have had my eyes poked out, and the sockets damaged, is there anything i can do to make people think there is nothing wrong with me. i ve tried glasses, ive tried being in a boy band, ive tried passing myself off as hulk hogan. please help

Dear Slothrop,

You've had your poor eyes poked out? How sad.
It sure sounds like you've tried all the conventional methods for healing.
I can't quite believe none of them have worked for you.

In this case, it's obviously going to take extreme measures to fix you up.
You're either going to have to get yourself some of those glasses with the googly eyes or try some serious reiki healing.
I recommend both, actually.

PS: you really have to stop playing knifey/spooney, okay?

I think we've still got some eyeballs left in the jar.

Might not have MATCHING ones, though.

Rev Roger,
Should never have told Efrim that they were pickled eggs.

[Bella]

dear bella, i seem to have had my eyes poked out, and the sockets damaged, is there anything i can do to make people think there is nothing wrong with me. i ve tried glasses, ive tried being in a boy band, ive tried passing myself off as hulk hogan. please help

Dear Slothrop,

You've had your poor eyes poked out? How sad.
It sure sounds like you've tried all the conventional methods for healing.
I can't quite believe none of them have worked for you.

In this case, it's obviously going to take extreme measures to fix you up.
You're either going to have to get yourself some of those glasses with the googly eyes or try some serious reiki healing.
I recommend both, actually.

PS: you really have to stop playing knifey/spooney, okay?

I think we've still got some eyeballs left in the jar.

Might not have MATCHING ones, though.

Rev Roger,
Should never have told Efrim that they were pickled eggs.

That was downright evil of you, Rev. Shame on you.  

I say dig them out and we'll give him the closest matches you're able to come up with.
Hell, if different colored eyes are good enough for David Bowie, then they're good enough for slothrop.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Bella:  The John Wayne Rant keeps bouncing around in my head, getting bigger and bigger, and the fucking thing won't come out.  I now have a dented out forehead, radiation burns, and strange growths on my neck.

Either this one's gonna be a doozy, or my head will explode like in the movie Scanners.  Either way, I'm happy...BUT:

Is it polite to have your head detonate in public?

[Bella]

Dear Bella:  The John Wayne Rant keeps bouncing around in my head, getting bigger and bigger, and the fucking thing won't come out.  I now have a dented out forehead, radiation burns, and strange growths on my neck.

Either this one's gonna be a doozy, or my head will explode like in the movie Scanners.  Either way, I'm happy...BUT:

Is it polite to have your head detonate in public?

Dear Roger,

Not really, but at this point you have bigger things to worry about than being polite.

We gotta get that rant out somehow.
Have you tried dictating it to someone instead of trying to type it out?
My friend dictated her latest channeling session to me today and she said it was a lot easier that way.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Bella:  The John Wayne Rant keeps bouncing around in my head, getting bigger and bigger, and the fucking thing won't come out.  I now have a dented out forehead, radiation burns, and strange growths on my neck.

Either this one's gonna be a doozy, or my head will explode like in the movie Scanners.  Either way, I'm happy...BUT:

Is it polite to have your head detonate in public?

Dear Roger,

Not really, but at this point you have bigger things to worry about than being polite.

We gotta get that rant out somehow.
Have you tried dictating it to someone instead of trying to type it out?
My friend dictated her latest channeling session to me today and she said it was a lot easier that way.

Nope.  When it's ready, it will come out.  I hope.

Of course, there's always the chance that it will come out like in the movie Alien, but that's the risk you take as a Mad Prophet(tm).