RWHN's Pun House

[Eve]

Unfortunately for the barista, bean constantly late ended up being grounds for dismissal. 

You know how much I love puns, but RWHN, this is unforgivable! Or maybe it's payback for making you imagine Wade with boobs.


..Twice.

[AFK]

Bah!



Hey, from working at Borders, there must be many stories to tell. 

[Jenne]

[Ari]

 A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the
clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud,
upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman.
"Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said.
 
No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud.
On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye.
"Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success," she said.
"Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on."
 
On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was
quite attractive. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success," she uttered.
 
As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself
that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an
absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot.
"Fuck me here and now or climb the ladder to success," she flirted.
 
Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man,
he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud,
there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing,
flies buzzing around his head.
 
"Who are you?" the man asked.
"Hello" said the ugly fat man, "I`m Cess!"

[Suu]

Me: As I recall, it was the Wampanoag tribe that fed the Pilgrims, and the Narragansett tribe that ate the Pilgrims.

Richter: And then the Narragansetts said, "What corny Pilgrims!"

Me: Let's not talk turkey.

Richter: I don't know, sounds fishy. (I don't remember exactly what he said.)

Me: 

[Rumckle]

How do priests spend their money?

Investments!

[BADGE OF HONOR]

How do priests spend their money?

Investments!

hahaha oh god heh

[Richter]

Me: As I recall, it was the Wampanoag tribe that fed the Pilgrims, and the Narragansett tribe that ate the Pilgrims.

Richter: And then the Narragansetts said, "What corny Pilgrims!"

Me: Let's not talk turkey.

Richter: If they plant correctly, it's kind of fishy.

Me: 

Fixt.

[Mangrove]

Regarding cheese:

While I was at massage school, there was a guy in my class who was a musician. Over lunch one day, we got to talking about being in bands etc. He explained that he had been in a variety of bands. One was called 'the dept of transport' and only did songs about well, transport.

But what really impressed me was that while under the influence of LSD he heard someone say 'Jesus Christ' but misheard and thought he said 'Cheese Is Christ'. Once he came off his trip, he set about writing a whole set of cheese related songs with spiritual themes. The best by far was:

Man cannot live by provalone

[Suu]

*cleaning kitchen*

Richter: It's a strange bamboo...object.

Suu: That's a Dim Sum steamer, it came with our wok, but I have no idea how to use it.

Richter: Well the lighting has to be just right.

Suu: Wha?

Richter: Yeah, the lights have to be slightly lower than usual for them to be dim sum.

Suu: 

[Kai]

 

[AFK]

You really woked into that one Suu.   

[Iason Ouabache]

I'll just leave this here.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/49652/the-soup-stage-mom

(NSFW)

[AFK]

The bull dressing in drag was the biggest Miss Steak ever made. 

[Suu]

I figure by the time I'm done sewing all of these pearls onto my costume I'm going to be a bit beady-eyed.