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ITT: Best Posts of the Day

Started by Cramulus, April 13, 2007, 11:33:09 PM

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Cain

#1410
-

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cramulus on September 09, 2013, 07:50:42 PM
Quote from: Cain on September 09, 2013, 07:47:22 PM
Congress is full of underachievers with skinny weiners who will never amount to anything and don't even lift.

Seconded.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 24, 2013, 03:53:57 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 24, 2013, 03:49:34 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 24, 2013, 03:48:14 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 24, 2013, 03:22:05 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 24, 2013, 03:21:00 AM
In the summer, at night, the people across the street can see directly into my living room. So when I make the sweet body music with my dear girlfriend, rather than showing them her glorious form, I make sure to bend over and give them a good look into my hairy brown eye, just in case.

I wish I could do that.  I mean, they get the hair, but there's too much hair for them to get the rest.

Yeah, that's unfortunate. For the full effect, you really need that faint glimpse of pale, quivering mass underneath. A flesh undulating and hidden beneath that tangle of scraggley, furious hair. It reflects the moonlight and there, peeking from within, the nightmare of dank knot. An exit from a world of woes, a hellish portal created seemingly for malevolence alone. And beyond that, just shy of a furiously flapping scrotum bedecked in more wirey insulation, a plane of skin that has never seen a happy day and never will.

And then, just briefly, in the fraction of a second betweeen the spectacle catching your eye and the wracking shudder that follows, you know that taint all to well. For that moment, you are the taint. Then you are changed forever.

I don't feel very pretty right now.   :sad:

Hush.

You are beautiful.   :eek:

Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

The Good Reverend Roger

Not a post here, but:

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/27/21194968-british-street-artist-banksy-trashes-design-of-one-world-trade-center

Quote"Nobody comes to New York to bathe in your well-mannered common sense," he wrote. "We're here for the spirit and audacity. Of which One World Trade has none."

:lulz:

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 28, 2013, 08:39:29 PM
Not a post here, but:

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/27/21194968-british-street-artist-banksy-trashes-design-of-one-world-trade-center

Quote"Nobody comes to New York to bathe in your well-mannered common sense," he wrote. "We're here for the spirit and audacity. Of which One World Trade has none."

:lulz:

The comments on there make me wish my "slap people in the face through the Internet" invention was past the paper napkin phase.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 28, 2013, 08:56:18 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 28, 2013, 08:39:29 PM
Not a post here, but:

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/27/21194968-british-street-artist-banksy-trashes-design-of-one-world-trade-center

Quote"Nobody comes to New York to bathe in your well-mannered common sense," he wrote. "We're here for the spirit and audacity. Of which One World Trade has none."

:lulz:

The comments on there make me wish my "slap people in the face through the Internet" invention was past the paper napkin phase.

The spelling alone is enough to get me rolling.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

Quote from: Payne on November 13, 2013, 03:36:45 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on November 13, 2013, 03:33:21 PM
Quote from: Payne on November 13, 2013, 03:28:23 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 13, 2013, 03:24:04 PM
Quote from: Payne on November 13, 2013, 03:22:40 PM
I bought a bag of Freedom and all I got was this lousy flag I'm not even allowed to wipe my ass on.

"I went to Afghanistan and all I got was this lousy prosthetic limb"

"I protested at the G8, and all I got was toxic derivatives and no prospect of ever retiring"

I stole a bunch of shit and all I got was to keep it. For free!

"I fought and died for Universal Suffrage, but all I got to vote for was John Jackson and Jack Johnson"
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Payne

I cribbed that from Futurama.

But all of you knew that anyway.

I steal ALL of my best bits.

hooplala

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 14, 2013, 02:10:33 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 14, 2013, 02:09:29 PM
Somewhat off topic but dear god man why do you have so many children?

Law of averages.  One of them will eventually act the way he wants it to.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Suu

Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on November 20, 2013, 04:37:55 PM
Emoticon Theater presents A Day at the Holist Household:

QuoteHoney, I came home from work and the 3.5 year old says she hasn't been fed all day.
\
:sadbanana:

I'm BUSY.
\
:boot:

You're on the computer.  The child is starving.
\
:sadbanana:

Look, this is IMPORTANT.  Roger is WRONG.
\
:mad:

I think the child may be more important.
\
:sadbanana:

I'M STARTING TO DOUBT WHETHER YOU'RE REALLY MY IDEAL WIFE AFTER ALL.
\
:mad:

...
\
:sadbanana:

GO MAKE ME A TURKEY POT PIE!
\
:mad:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Suu

Quote from: Pæs on December 16, 2013, 11:14:14 PM
Quote from: Pæs on December 16, 2013, 11:12:12 PMIt's like having Oompa Loompas describe a sexual assault.

As soon as I typed it... that fucking mental image.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on December 17, 2013, 10:28:55 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 17, 2013, 10:26:31 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 17, 2013, 09:58:05 PM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on December 17, 2013, 09:52:19 PM
I can't look at octopus meat without being sad.

Same. Cephalopods and veal are on the "not food because feelings" list.

Cephalopods are on the "tasty when boiled" list.

How... how could you?
                       \


I laughed so hard I actualy shit monitors into my coffee

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Bu🤠ns

#1423
Quote from: Odibex Grallspice on December 24, 2013, 02:42:05 PM
>He was known to "purchase cocaine for his personal use and also, on occasion, share it with others,"

Hey, he's sharing, I don't really see the problem.

Quote from: Cain on December 24, 2013, 04:22:15 PM
Sharing is a gateway drug for Communism

Bu🤠ns