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ITT: Best Posts of the Day

Started by Cramulus, April 13, 2007, 11:33:09 PM

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P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: Professor Cramulus on May 29, 2007, 09:01:34 PM
Seriously

if you came into my place of business all pale faced and fiending, then acted normal again only after you'd injected yourself full of drugs, I'd call the cops. but if you were a filthy diabetic, they'd give you a goddamn medal. It's bullshit!

Diabetics can make their own insulin, they're just too lazy.

friggin pasty-faced needle users who can't hold their sugar. Fuck that.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mangrove

Quote from: SillyCybin on May 29, 2007, 09:40:09 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on May 29, 2007, 09:01:34 PM
Seriously

if you came into my place of business all pale faced and fiending, then acted normal again only after you'd injected yourself full of drugs, I'd call the cops. but if you were a filthy diabetic, they'd give you a goddamn medal. It's bullshit!

Diabetics can make their own insulin, they're just too lazy.

friggin pasty-faced needle users who can't hold their sugar. Fuck that.

you'd think the American Diabetic Association would proofread their informational pamphlets.....
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Buddha's Ghost Penis

NOW AM PLEASE TO PRESENT OUR GREAT!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 08, 2005, 07:45:24 AM
EW! YUCK! LARGE FLOPPY ELDERLY LEATHERY BREASTS DEVOUR BUDDHA'S LIBIDO AND POOP OUT IMPOTENCY! MAKE ME YOUNG AGAIN REVLON! POWDER GRANNY'S TITS WITH TALCUM!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 10, 2005, 07:21:55 AM
BUT DO NOT DO THIS! IT IS TERRIBLE AND YOU WILL SUFFER THE WRATH OF ANGRY HERPIES RIDDEN BUT VERY ATTRACTIVE GORILLAS WHO WILL RAPE YOU WITHOUT THE USE OF LUBRICANT!


Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 05, 2005, 06:06:50 AM
I AM SLOW BECAUSE OF MY GIRTH. DO YOU SEE? IT JIGGLES LIKE A CHUNKY PROSTITUTE FILLED WITH MONEY!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on July 17, 2005, 12:30:11 PM
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on July 26, 2005, 05:44:54 PM
YOUR WITTY RETORTS MAKE MY OVERSIZED CHESTICLES JIGGLE WITH GLEE!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 05, 2005, 06:10:49 AM
HE SHOULD GIVE ALL OF HIS MONEY TO THE CHINAMEN SO THAY CAN AFFORD TO FINISH CUTTING THEIR HAIR! AND BY SANDWICHES!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 05, 2005, 05:30:16 PM
DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY THIGHS! I WILL CRUSH YOUR INTESTINES OUT OF YOUR POOPING ORAFICE AS IF YOU WERE TOOTHPASTE WITH MY MASSIVE GIRTH! DO YOU SEE?

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 06, 2005, 04:53:27 AM
WHY IS HIS NAME THUNDERLIPS? DOES HE QUIEF LOUDLY WITH HIS MASSIVE AND HEAVILY MUSCLED VAGINA?

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 12, 2005, 01:13:28 AM
THAT LOOKS TOO BIG FOR PROCREATING! ARE YOU SURE?

[/quote]

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 06, 2005, 03:46:40 AM
I LET MY CHI LOOSE ALL OVER HIS FACE! IT WAS VERY LIBERATING!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 06, 2005, 05:01:34 AM
NOW YOU HAVE CONFUSED ME, ARE YOU PULLING WOOL INTO MY EYEBALLS?

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 08, 2005, 07:50:57 AM
DO NOT MAKE FUN OF BLACK PEOPLE YOU AWFUL RACIST! YOU MIGHT ONE DAY MEET A RACIST BLACK MAN AND HE WILL INSERT MARBLES INTO YOUR INTESTINES WHILE HITTING YOU WITH HEAVY HAMMERS! IT WILL BE HORROR! THERE WILL BE BLOODY CHUNKY GLASS FILLED POOP AND YOU WON'T LIKE IT SO DON'T BE SO RACIST! I WILL TELL ON YOU!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 08, 2005, 07:52:09 AM
YOU RAPE BUDDHA'S INNER LOINS! HE IS NO ALIEN JUXTAPOSITION!!!!!

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on July 17, 2005, 12:31:38 PM
THE MISSING PICKLE
WHY DID YOU BAN ME?!?!?
CAN'T FIND IT

NEXT TOPIC: Why ban Buddha's Ghost Penis?

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 05, 2005, 05:57:17 AM
HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FOOD COOKING JOB AS BILLIONS OF LITTLE CHINA BOYS AND GIRLS DIE BY THE BILLIONS! YOU SHOULD FEEL AWFUL!


Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 06, 2005, 03:46:40 AM
I LET MY CHI LOOSE ALL OVER HIS FACE! IT WAS VERY LIBERATING!
:D

Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on August 08, 2005, 07:34:07 AM
YOU ALL MAKE ME SO









happy



NOW I WILL PEE EVERYWHERE!
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!

guest7654

This thread has transmuted from something cool, to something godlike.   :D

Cramulus

I've been going on for some time about how hot robots are. This is from January.

Quote from: Professor Cramulus on January 22, 2007, 09:52:31 PM
WTF I can't wait for the robot revolution. And OF COURSE I'll be on the robot's side. Let me enumerate a few reasons:


  • My hot robot girlfriend is going to have a volume control on one nipple, and an AM/FM tuner on the other.
  • Her tongue will dispense five types of delicious beer.
  • She will come with several different personality packs, including schoolgirl, dominatrix, and, for when I'm feeling really kinky, Bea Arthur (edit: Ann Coultier)
  • She will have a video projector in one eye, and will have a wireless connection to several cameras in my bedroom. When I'm railing her from behind, she'll edit the camera streams into pornlike footage and project it onto the wall.

Felix Fixed it Thusly

Quote from: Felix on January 22, 2007, 10:18:57 PM
Quote from: Professor Cramulus on January 22, 2007, 09:52:31 PM
WTF I can't wait for the robot revolution. And OF COURSE I'll be on the robot's side. Let me enumerate a few reasons:


  • My hot robot girlfriend is going to have a power drill on one nipple, and thumb-screw on the other.
  • Her tongue will dispense five types of deadly poison.
  • She will come with several different personality packs, including Ted Bundy, Al Pacino, and, for when I'm feeling really kinky, General Patton (edit: Saddam)
  • She will have a video projector in one eye, and will have a wireless connection to the CIA database. When she's railing me from behind, she'll edit the camera streams into gruesome, disturbing footage and project it onto the wall.

Shibboleet The Annihilator

Someone needs to do Chef and GIGGLES.

Triple Zero

Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

tyrannosaurus vex

Quote from: Ten Ton Mantis on May 30, 2007, 05:09:08 PM
Someone needs to do Chef and GIGGLES.

GENTLEMEN, IF YUOR ASS IS NOT FULL OF CHERRY-BOMBS, WAYSA?
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Jasper

Haw!  Sort of like in The Fly with Ben Stiller!

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Ten Ton Mantis on May 30, 2007, 05:09:08 PM
Someone needs to do Chef and GIGGLES.

WORST MISTAKE SINCE YUO BANNED ME!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Shibboleet The Annihilator


saint aini

Mary: Let me ask you something.
[Grabs his hand]
Mary: Why are you alive?
John Preston: [Breaks free] I'm alive... I live... to safeguard the continuity of this great society. To serve Libria.
Mary: It's circular. You exist to continue your existence. What's the point?
John Preston: What's the point of your existence?
Mary: To feel. 'Cause you've never done it, you can never know it. But it's as vital as breath. And without it, without love, without anger, without sorrow, breath is just a clock... ticking.

Jenne

Quote from: SuuPD.COM: Fuck trucks in tubes, we drive the Omnibus.

LMNO

Quote from: triple zero on June 01, 2007, 03:12:52 PM
take all the time you need in order to come to terms with the primate vulvanity of things.

Cramulus

Quote from: Darth Cupcake on June 01, 2007, 03:25:29 PM
First you have to take it out to a nice dinner... share a bottle of wine... long walk on the beach... THEN you do pot.

They call pot a gateway drug because after a high maintenance relationship like that one, the simplicity of coke's quickie-in-the-bathroom becomes very appealing!