ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Big shops make me feel autistic.

[Cramulus]

I think our foreign policy would be vastly improved if suddenly all business was conducted in soprano.

[Cramulus]

ITT you admit to doing something you consider 'discordian' in nature, that actually accomplished something useful in your pathetic existence.

I once posted on a discordian forum and they all united under a common purpose.

[Suu]

Food preservation IS emblaming, if you think about it.

Unless you're buying green vegetables, active cultures, or pulsating meat.

You just described a typical saturday night.

[Suu]

This next one is for Eve:

Ah, a foto of my namesake. That's how my parents met, you know.

They met during the Spanish Inquisition's trip to Haiti?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

AH FUCKING HELL, GOATS
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SIHT


*SHITS IN HIS COFFEE*

[Triple Zero]

In my day, everybody had to get along with everybody because we were still compressed into a quantum singularity!

\

[Cramulus]

*RING*
        \

        /
*RING*

                                                  Hello.
                                                        \

                                                       /
                                                    Troll?

[Cramulus]

ahhahahah and I just noticed that the phone in that last post is labeled "CLARITY"


anyway

"i will never end a sentence with a proposition"

is that your proposal?

He won't end a sentence with a proposition.

He'll just end it with a flagrant, slimy come-on, or a straightforward demand!

[Idem]

THE DISCORDIANS MOCKED GOD, SO HE PUNISHED THEM BY MAKING THEM ALL EMO KIDS, YOU SEE

THESE ARE ALL THE CORRECT ANSWER

I ALSO WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED, "YES, IMPREACH BUSH AND LET DICK CHENEY BE PRESIDENT, BRILLAINT IDEA"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

i just did cram already

YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF PERVERTS 

[Triple Zero]

If we allowed the cows to wander freely, puppies with a death wish would naturally make their way to psychopathic marines (via osmosis), curing world hunger.

Or something.

(emphasis added because really that bit cracked me up most)

[Cain]

Osmosis solves all the world's ills.

[Triple Zero]

I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT, MY FATHER DIED FROM OSMOSIS WHEN IT CAUSED HIM TO THROW HIMSELF IN FRONT OF A HIGH VELOCITY AIRBORNE PUPPY

[Sir Squid Diddimus]