ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[Manta Obscura]

Hey, um.. Wade?

I know we haven't really spoken before, and maybe this will seem unfounded and very sudden, but I can't go on living this lie, admiring you from the shadows where I skulk. In the short time I have been following your posts here I think, well, I think I have fallen madly and deeply in love with you.
I find your little noggin to be just the most adorable thing I've ever seen, and though you seem to not always get along perfectly with the other posters here, I find that throughout all the drama you maintain a charm and dignity that is second to none.

I adore you unashamedly and I want to announce my passion to the whole world. I want to climb a mountain and scream my love for you for all to hear. I want to wrap my gangly arms around your sweet little face and hold you close to me forever. And, just in case you're at all up for it, I'll just let it be known here and now that I wouldn't be totally against the idea of lubing up your head real good and seeing if it would fit through my quivering, puckering sphincter.

I don't know how you will react to this, and I don't really expect or want anything from you, except I strongly hope that you keep up the good work. I'm not even gay, but a chap like you can really turn a guy's head.

I just really thought it was time I let you know.
I'm here for you, and my balls yearn to bounce on your chin

bones,
  embracing his real feelings for the first time, and feeling all tingly

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

 

[Bu🤠ns]

Came across an old post that made me laugh while doing IPD research. Context removed:

When I was like 8 I honestly believed that the toilet was alive and that it loved eating my poos. I hung out with it and talked to it when I thought it was lonely. I think my personality today still sort of reflects that.

i remember that! 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And then, I said to Henry Kissinger "Prof Chomsky raises a very good point, what is your response"?  And Dr Kissinger said "why are you asking a zombie about our 1960s policy to Indonesia?  Braaaaaaaaaains"  And he started to screw the top of Chomsky's head off, while Brezinski was still droning on about Russia and the exceptional circumstances of the emergency and ate his brains, right in front of the audience

And then I woke up

[AFK]

I heard they edited a really juciy sex scene out of 'Twilight'.....


.....fangs for the mammary.

[Suu]

CERTAINLY.

IT STEMS BACK TO JUST AFTER WHEN I WAS ASSEMBLED IN BETHESDA FROM SPARE PARTS.

I WAS BEING TRAINED AS AN OPRATIVE OF PROJECT "BITCHHAMMER", LIVING IN AN OLD SHIPPING CONTAINER ON THE JERSEY SHORE, HUNTING GEESE WITH A CROWBAR AND A NAILGUN FOR FOOD.

THAT SHOULD EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.  IF YOU HURT YOUR FOOT TRIPPING OVER THE ANVIL, TURN ON THE LIGHT NEXT TIME.

ACTUALLY DON'T.  YOU MIGHT SCARE THE GRUE AWAY.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

"Grandma, tell us a story."

"Okay, once there was a..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwVyXgbaXHs&feature=related

yup, still laughin about it.

[Suu]

[Manta Obscura]

WADE'S HAMSTER DANCE!!!
Right-click here and open in new window...

[Cramulus]

Determination ran in the family, although one might argue paranoia, that perpetually crippling offspring of the "healthy imagination" he'd possessed as a child, was just as common in what his father half-jokingly referred to as "the clan."  Sitting before his school principal, the confidence he wore seconds ago melted when he realized he hadn't prepared a coherent way of presenting his argument.  The time for such things having passed, he proceeded, "I want to create a pention to ban history from our school, or something to protect us from time travelers who might use our own history against us, or...?"

[fomenter]

Determination ran in the family, although one might argue paranoia, that perpetually crippling offspring of the "healthy imagination" he'd possessed as a child, was just as common in what his father half-jokingly referred to as "the clan."  Sitting before his school principal, the confidence he wore seconds ago melted when he realized he hadn't prepared a coherent way of presenting his argument.  The time for such things having passed, he proceeded, "I want to create a pention to ban history from our school, or something to protect us from time travelers who might use our own history against us, or...?"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Determination ran in the family, although one might argue paranoia, that perpetually crippling offspring of the "healthy imagination" he'd possessed as a child, was just as common in what his father half-jokingly referred to as "the clan."  Sitting before his school principal, the confidence he wore seconds ago melted when he realized he hadn't prepared a coherent way of presenting his argument.  The time for such things having passed, he proceeded, "I want to create a pention to ban history from our school, or something to protect us from time travelers who might use our own history against us, or...?"

[Cainad (dec.)]

EoC wins the forum for the day.

[Suu]

you mean there wasn't really a race of giants?

Yes there was.  But they all ran off and became the 1986 Bears.

[Suu]

 

Have you ever run into another discordian on the street? How did you know? How did you break the ice? What did you do?

I KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AND STOLE HIS IPOD.

NOW CHEF IS BUSY ERASING FRANZ FERDINAND TUNES.