News:

And if you've misplaced your penis, never fear. This forum is full of dicks.

Main Menu

ITT: Best Posts of the Day

Started by Cramulus, April 13, 2007, 11:33:09 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Sir Squid Diddimus

Quote from: LMNO on May 29, 2009, 01:10:56 PM
Sheesh.  Can't you tell I was kidding?


Is everyone extra sensitive this week or something?

Sorry. Yeah, I couldn't tell.
Guess I am a little sensitive. One of my closest friends is moving to Missouri. Forever.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Triple Zero on May 29, 2009, 03:16:36 PM
You gotta use "Durex Elite" (they may have changed the name somewhere though), they are extra thin AND have extra lube.

you can never have enough lube.

hmm

when I grow up and be filthy rich I'm gonna get myself a swimmingpool with lube.

(and lalala rape is lube etc, but lube is in fact awesome, so fuck that)

I like the Durex Avanti polyurethane ones.

I like them so much I accidentally bought 6 boxes on Amazon, and then accidentally haven't had the chance to use them up. Oops!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


AFK

My wife likes the rainbow/tropical scented ones. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Triple Zero

Quote from: Nigel on May 29, 2009, 04:00:33 PM
I like the Durex Avanti polyurethane ones.

I like them so much I accidentally bought 6 boxes on Amazon, and then accidentally haven't had the chance to use them up. Oops!

I had those once, got a sampling package of all their different types cause I wrote them an email when a condom teared and I was pissed about it (bless the morning after pill).

Didnt like them. They weren't really stretchy and felt a bit like paper, something. It's a long time ago, so I dont remember the specifics though.

I thought they are for people that are sensitive or allergic to rubber? Or do they have other advantages?
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Dysfunctional Cunt

Quote from: Squid on May 29, 2009, 03:53:35 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 29, 2009, 01:10:56 PM
Sheesh.  Can't you tell I was kidding?


Is everyone extra sensitive this week or something?

Sorry. Yeah, I couldn't tell.
Guess I am a little sensitive. One of my closest friends is moving to Missouri. Forever.

Tell them NONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!! That they will hate it here!  Tell them how bad it sucks.  Tell them I miss Florida and all of it's tourists and traffic and bullshit every second of every day.....  

:cry:

Sir Squid Diddimus

Oh she knows.
She's leaving for a stupid reason.
I'm going to miss her. A lot.



baskets of cunts!!!  :argh!:

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Squid on May 30, 2009, 05:32:01 AM
Oh she knows.
She's leaving for a stupid reason.
I'm going to miss her. A lot.



baskets of cunts!!!  :argh!:

Been through that a few times myself, recently.  All my friends run off to decadent, faraway lands.  They have abandoned me to the meth heads.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Triple Zero on May 29, 2009, 08:39:18 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 29, 2009, 04:00:33 PM
I like the Durex Avanti polyurethane ones.

I like them so much I accidentally bought 6 boxes on Amazon, and then accidentally haven't had the chance to use them up. Oops!

I had those once, got a sampling package of all their different types cause I wrote them an email when a condom teared and I was pissed about it (bless the morning after pill).

Didnt like them. They weren't really stretchy and felt a bit like paper, something. It's a long time ago, so I dont remember the specifics though.

I thought they are for people that are sensitive or allergic to rubber? Or do they have other advantages?

The main advantage is that they feel a tiny bit more like not wearing a condom, though they do take a bit of getting used to because they're not stretchy. Also, they're not suited well to the <ahem> larger gentleman, because of the non-stretchiness and because for the best sensation they should fit a little loosely.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cain on June 01, 2009, 06:48:54 PM
The internet has provided Grammar Nazis all over the world with a Sysyphian task.

:potd:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cramulus

Quote from: Cainad on June 02, 2009, 10:02:07 PM
woah, you guys missed some good ones





I'm sure there's more, will post when I find them...

Sir Squid Diddimus


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: LMNO on June 05, 2009, 01:38:41 PM
So, Mrs LMNO and I were talking about this last night.

Mrs LMNO: "I don't know... I think that he might have been involved in something even worse, and was killed... this whole thing seems like a cover up to hide it."

Me:  "Wait... Something worse than going to Thailand and choking yourself to death while jerking off?  So you're stacking an even more implausible story on top of the one we already have.  Where the hell did Mrs Conspiracy Theorist come from?"

Mrs LMNO: "I learned it by watching you."

:potd:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


the last yatto

Quote from: Telarus on June 05, 2009, 11:55:02 PM
And finally, the new Olympic Torch (the word around Vansterdam is that it resembles a joint):


:lulz:
Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit

Cain