An idea to sell Dan Brown.

[Cain]

OFUK



Can we convince Umberto Eco to start writing conspiracy books again?

[Mangrove]

Dan Brown's new book:

Scooby Doo adventure + Closertogod.com research + Washington DC = NY Times bestseller list.

[LMNO]

"I would have gotten away with the federal banking system too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!"
\

[Cain]

Fact: every single person on this board, ever, even cat~maxwell, could write better than Dan Brown, and with a more interesting plot.  Fuck me, I already had the plot down pat 2 pages into the Da Vinci Code.  And 5 in Angels and Demons.  He must have gone to the Colin Forbes school of Plots By Numbers.

[LMNO]

But OMFG, teh Christ had a child, and it's Amelie!

"This is not a spoon!"
\

[Cain]

Its worse than that.  So fucking obvious there was going to be an attractive female language expert (or whatever she was) who was single and tough as nails around the cops, but whose heart would be melted by the hero....I mean jeez, nothing makes up for that kind of writing, except large doses of irony.

[Cain]

Did I say irony?  I mean cyanide.

[Mangrove]

LOL Amelie.

Bad news for Dan Brown:

DNA testing on the remains of the Merovingians in France showed.....wait for it............no traces of middle eastern DNA.

[Cain]

LOL Amelie.

Bad news for Dan Brown:

DNA testing on the remains of the Merovingians in France showed.....wait for it............no traces of middle eastern DNA.

Worse.  Letters by its Grand Master, Pierre Plantard, prove it to be fake.  Documents also prove Plantard's claim to aristocracy are falsified.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I agree brown is unreadable but, because of his work and the subsequent filmatisation there are now a bunch more people who know about the council of Nicaea and how much of a pile of - not even vaguely historical - gash and drivel the bible actually is.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Any ammo against cult of the zombie basilisk is good ammo

[Dr. Cow Ass]

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp

More catholic info.

The crackers are from the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111112

The Roman Church was also the mother of all forms of Christianity since Martin Luther broke away form the church along w/ that one english king who started the englican church. So if the church was fucked from the beggining then ALL christanity is fucked.

I,of course, do not believe this because if I did, I'd go strait to hell along with Hitler, the jews, and of course, the gays.

[Idem]

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp

More catholic info.

The crackers are from the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111112

The Roman Church was also the mother of all forms of Christianity since Martin Luther broke away form the church along w/ that one english king who started the englican church. So if the church was fucked from the beggining then ALL christanity is fucked.

I,of course, do not believe this because if I did, I'd go strait to hell along with Hitler, the jews, and of course, the gays.

...And the black peoples?

[Cain]

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0071/0071_01.asp

More catholic info.

The crackers are from the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111112

The Roman Church was also the mother of all forms of Christianity since Martin Luther broke away form the church along w/ that one english king who started the englican church. So if the church was fucked from the beggining then ALL christanity is fucked.

Wrong.  Unless the Orthodox churches, Gnostics, Coptics, and multitude of cults that flourished before the Catholic's secured power over Rome don't count for some reason.

[Triple Zero]

maybe the solution is to suggest that the pope's abolition of 'limbo' and other attempts at modernizing church doctrine is merely a smokescreen for something far more sinister?

ZOMG CELESTIAL PEDOPHILES!!!1

[Suu]

Wouldn't surprise me. There's all sorts of symbolism scattered about that city (DC). I have to admit, although works of fiction, his books are pretty damn entertaining and I did actually learn from them...Even though my uber-Catholic Aunt considers me a heretic now for owning his books.

...And LMNO's plot almost reminds me of The Order and that unfinished sub-plot with the anti-pope. That movie would have been decent if they closed up the 200 some odd plot holes and didn't reunite the cast of A Knight's Tale.