Rant 27: Messing About

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Rant 27
Messing About

Illumination will wipe the snot of ego from your face and leave you with a contentedness that mimics the afterglow of orgasm. But it doesn??t mean all your problems have gone anywhere, or does it? You can find out for yourself and see. Many believe that doing intensive spiritual practices are required for to achieve illumination, but it really doesn??t work that way. Your illumination could be sorted out while just sweeping the floor, or by making coffee, or by messing about.

Messing about is the Discordian pastime and it is the most fun filled way to achieve illumination, for those that want that sort of thing. At this point in this rant, the Discordians among you will be thinking ?¨Tell me something I don??t know?Æ. But it might surprise you to know that Eris has handed you illumination on a silver platter called silliness, and that many Discordians are running about whining that other Discordians are not serious enough. Yuck! What can us purveyors of Operation Mindfuck do to those poor bastards? Nothing is more entertaining then messing about with the minds of the blighted and blind bastards that take Discordianism seriously. (It is the reason why we invented the Illuminati.)

If someone tells you that you just contradicted yourself, then you know you are doing well. I have been told this many times. There is the stupid assumption that contradiction can??t be allowed. But consistency is a mark of slavery. Consistency is the display of a mind trapped in intellectual fetters. Contradiction is a way towards free thought. Somewhat. Those Discordians who cannot tolerate contradictions are hereby declared to be special targets of our anti-stupidity conspiracy. We can??t force them to open up. Nor can we free their minds. But it is sure loads of fun watching them run about after they??ve been pranked.

Maybe that is all we are really doing, in essence?ñjust messing about. If so, we are having a good time of it. Maybe the ?´serious Discordians?? are right. Yeah?ñwhatever. As if we cared about what they had to say. How often can those serious Discordians (now here??s a contradiction) say that their minds are glowing? Not too often, I wager.

Eris is mad, wacky, nuts, weird?ñand She cares nothing for your pretenses. She likes to mess about with anyone and anything. The level of violence and pain that results is in direct proportion to the level of seriousness that Her targets adhere to. Thankfully, for us, She has mellowed out in recent times, but we can??t be totally sure. The best solution is to become a bit mad ourselves, as some of us already know, because She likes to give us Her special attentions. But chances are that if you like Eris, you are already a bit mad.

So stop wandering around in all seriousness and start sailing the oceans of silliness. If you don??t want to do this willingly, then we??ll just have to prank you, jake you, mindfuck you, until you become a raving lunatic. (Very entertaining.)  You may think that us crazies are just messing about and can??t ?´grow up?? and get serious about Discordianism, or something like that, but that??s only because you have missed all 23 points entirely. And that makes me laugh to no end. If you disagree with me, you can fuck off and write your own rant. If you agree with me, you can still fuck off and write your own rant. If you could care less one way or another?ñthe same.

Those of you who wish to get serious about Discordianism are like the New Age froufrous parading about talking of bliss and light without the foggiest clue what they are saying. By all means get serious about illumination or about some other religion, but realize that Discordianism is not about seriousness. We absolutely dance upon and pummel the heads of all those deluded souls who believe otherwise. We take our humor seriously which is the same as saying nothing is serious. Or otherwise. Get it? Unless, of course, the act of taking Discordianism seriously is just another joke in a series of mindfucks to be entertaining for the rest. Then, I salute you in your projects.

Eris may or may not take you seriously.

(Chaos 8th, 3170)

[Slarti]

Discordians are running about whining that other Discordians are not serious enough

crap in a bag! that's me.


we're acting out the odyssey in english class. and i get to be hermes ( st. gulik!) i asked my teacher if i could crawl around on the floor like a cockroach. and she gave me a look that said " what drugs are you on"

[Z³]

I disagree.
This rant is over.
(*crash-feedback*)

[Horab Fibslager]

contradiciton is a fundamental and inalienable right. i'ddie for my right to express thsi ideology, but i prefer to kill for it instead.

[Z³]

contradiciton is a fundamental and inalienable right. i'ddie for my right to express thsi ideology, but i prefer to kill for it instead.

There is only one way to settle this.

[Horab Fibslager]

contradiciton is a fundamental and inalienable right. i'ddie for my right to express thsi ideology, but i prefer to kill for it instead.

There is only one way to settle this.

rock. paper. scissors?

[slothrop23]

surely knify spoony would be better, and hail the winner god like in status

[Trollax]

REM lost their religion... I'm losing my perspecacity...
HELP!

[B23.77]

Found it!  ::hands Trollax contact lense::