A better idea to sell to Dan Brown

[Cain]

Who will be playing her in the book?

a woman who looks an awful lot like natalie portman.

This is the correct book made for film answer.

[LMNO]

"Yarona turned to me, her dark hair gently masking the light of the burning synagogue.  Her full, wet lips were slightly parted, and for a moment, she looked like Natalie Portman."

[Suu]

Can I have a cameo as some sort of religious zealot assassin that's hot on the protagonist's tail for at least 2 chapters but then meets an untimely end?

[LMNO]

Only if you're a half-naked lesbian prone to wearing stiletto thigh-high boots.

[Mangrove]

Excerpt:

"Bran was struck from behind, suddenly. When he awoke some moments later, standing over him was a woman who reminded him of the actress, Natalie Portman.

  'What did you hit me for?' asked Bran, rubbing the back of his very sore head.

  'It was for your own good' said Natalie Portman the mysterious woman.

Bran was confused. None of this made any sense.

  'I feel so confused. None of this makes any sense!' whined Bran.

   'I'll explain it to you later. But first we must go. There isn't much time.'

[Suu]

Only if you're a half-naked lesbian prone to wearing stiletto thigh-high boots.

Bi-Sexual and we got a deal. Make sure you write in a hot steamy IMPLIED threesome between me and the 2 leads.

[LMNO]

Excerpt:

"Bran was struck from behind, suddenly. When he awoke some moments later, standing over him was a woman who reminded him of the actress, Natalie Portman.

  'What did you hit me for?' asked Bran, rubbing the back of his very sore head.

  'It was for your own good' said Natalie Portman the mysterious woman.

Bran was confused. None of this made any sense.

  'I feel so confused. None of this makes any sense!' whined Bran.

   'I'll explain it to you later. But first we must go. There isn't much time.'

Damn.  That was a hellofalot better than mine.

[Mangrove]

I missed my calling. I shoulda a been a hack writer of pulpy airport novels.

[sigh]

"Mangrove sighed heavily and walked downstairs. All that was left now was a broken dream and a slightly stale bagel"

[Cain]

Only if you're a half-naked lesbian prone to wearing stiletto thigh-high boots.

So you wasted money on Gigli too?

[Mangrove]

Only if you're a half-naked lesbian prone to wearing stiletto thigh-high boots.

Bi-Sexual and we got a deal. Make sure you write in a hot steamy IMPLIED threesome between me and the 2 leads.

ok...you get to be the sex scene in chapter 4. but by chapter 6 you're going to be offed.

[Suu]

Oh, and I'm not really evil. We need that twist in there. But the readers HAVE to find out before the leads do...Probably after I die. Then it's all, "OH NOES!"

[Cramulus]

ok...you get to be the sex scene in chapter 4. but you're going not gonna get off till chapter 6.

fixed for bisexual frustration

[P3nT4gR4m]

This book has serious potential. Throw in Jack Nicholson and I promise to steal it off the internets.

[Mangrove]

Oh, and I'm not really evil. We need that twist in there. But the readers HAVE to find out before the leads do.

yes. we only think you're evil. turns out you've been trying to help your buddy, natalie portman save bran down from teh evil publishers.

[LMNO]

Only if you're a half-naked lesbian prone to wearing stiletto thigh-high boots.

So you wasted money on Gigli too?

It was free on cable.  I got drunk.  "Two outta three," and all that.