Author Topic: Discordians in History  (Read 17618 times)

LMNO

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2007, 01:21:38 pm »
I'll be writing my anecdotes on the discovery of America and the Holy Mexican Empire.

If it sucks you'll know who to blame  :evilmad:





Scotland?

P3nT4gR4m

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2007, 01:25:11 pm »
K-Fed  :lulz:
Not actually a meat product.
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"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

AFK

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2007, 02:59:16 pm »
Scotland is to blame for K-Fed?
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

LMNO

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2007, 02:59:35 pm »
Oh, I wishIwishIwish...

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #19 on: May 23, 2007, 03:41:56 pm »
Scotland is not to blame for things.

We're more the kind of nation that claims responsibility for stuff.

Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
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walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it’s not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn’t matter." -- Max Tegmark

LMNO

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2007, 03:43:06 pm »
Oh, so you're responsible for K-Fed, then?

Payne

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2007, 03:52:30 pm »
I'm going to do a bit for Guy Fawkes. In the discordian History thing.

RE: K-Fed, I shat him out and posted him to Brattney. I never Imagined she'd actually marry it....

AFK

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2007, 03:54:39 pm »
Scotland is not to blame for things.

We're more the kind of nation that claims responsibility for stuff.



If my rusty history memory serves, Scotland had something to do with Nova Scotia, which at least, is one mark in your favour. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Rev. St. Syn, KSC

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #23 on: May 23, 2007, 04:14:41 pm »
Cram - fucking swote - I'm stealing that for POEE's front page.
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Payne

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2007, 04:40:10 pm »


Fawkes was born on 13 April 1570 in Stonegate, York, England where he first logged onto PD.com on16 April 1586. He wrote several rant worthy posts and disapeared for some time, leaving some to ponder whether he had been jailed.

Fawkes' father Edward was descended from the Fawkes family of Farnley and he was either an in real life troll or a wanker in the ecclesiastic courts, later becoming an advocate of the modding regime at Mystic Wicks. His mother was descended from the Harrington Family, prominent merchants and Aldermen of the City of York. He is believed to have been willed with hate, with a healthy sense of humour, and it is certain that Guy Fawkes did not get his laptop from his father.

Fawkes was originally raised as a Sub-Genius, but in those days, you had to continue paying fees, which he could not maintain.



In 1592 Fawkes sold the Cadillac he had inherited from his father. In 1593, he enlisted in the army of Teh Internet. He served for many years as a soldier, gaining considerable expertise with explosives, which is the most likely reason that the trolls Winter and Catesby recruited him.

While serving in the Spanish Army in the Netherlands he adopted the name Guido, the Spanish form of Guy. He denied that this was ghey.


("Guido's" Sig, totally not teh ghey.)

By 1602 he had not risen higher than the rank of Scat Granny. There is some evidence that Fawkes was in considerable poverty around this time. He may have visited Spain in the early 1600s to sue the Spanish for a jake, records do not show what he sued them for, however.

"Guido" is perhaps best known for the Gunpowder Plot of 1605, a plan to kill the King of Britain (James VI of Scotland, I of England). As noted, he had sued the Spanish, en masse, in one of the greatest jakes ever conceived. There is some evidence that he had spent the greater amount of this money on women, drugs, alcohol and pimping his carriage.

When these funds ran out, he needed a new scheme to make money. It's unsure how he came into contact with Winter and Catesby, but it has been postulated that they discovered him attempting to blow up a Protestant Church, whilst themselves scouting the church out for the same purpose.

It is assumed that the trio then went to the pub, as is usual when internet personalities meet up in real life. Over a mammoth drinking session, it was decided that blowing up the King would be "totally fuckin' win!", and so the conspiracy began.

Fawkes, with his expertise in explosives, was to fill the cellers underneath the Kings throne with gunpowder. Meanwhile Winter would set up the webcams that would broadcast the jake, and Catesby would work on publicising the event, using troll channels he was experienced with.

The plan almost came off, but one of the troll channel regulars, butt-hurt after a flame war with Catesby, which he lost, called the cops.

Later, during trial, Fawkes stated that he had plotted the jake, "Fore thee Lulz".

He was Hung, drawn, quartered and IP banz0rred on January 31st, 1606.

Discordians burn stuff in his honour all over the world, occasionaly burning effigies of him, particularly in the U.K., as no one likes someone getting a big ego.


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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #25 on: May 23, 2007, 07:01:03 pm »
I'm going to do a bit for Guy Fawkes. In the discordian History thing.

RE: K-Fed, I shat him out and posted him to Brattney. I never Imagined she'd actually marry it....

...she just wanted to get high...








and Payne, excellent job!   :mrgreen:
« Last Edit: May 23, 2007, 07:02:47 pm by Jenne »

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #26 on: May 24, 2007, 09:41:30 am »
REPOST ITT!!!

Bill Gates and the Illuminati

Adam Weishaupt founded the Illuminati of Bavaria on May 1, 1776 on the principles of his early training as a Jesuit. Originally called the Order of the Perfectibilists, its professed object was, by the mutual assistance of its members, to attain the highest possible degree of morality and virtue, and to lay the foundation for the reformation of the world by the association of good men to oppose the progress of moral evil. On August 12 1776 IBM (Illuminati of Bavaria Machinations) introduced its new revolution in a box, the "Personal Difference Engine" complete with a brand new operating system from Weishauptsoft.'

'Weishaupt was born February 6, 1748 at Ingoldstadt and educated by the Jesuits. His appointment as Professor of Natural and Canon Law at the University of Ingoldstadt in 1775, a position previously held by an ecclesiastic, gave great offense to the clergy. Weishaupt, whose views were cosmopolitan, and who knew and condemned the bigotry and superstitions of the Priests, established an opposing party in the University. This was the beginning of the Order of Illuminati or the Enlightened. Weishaupt was not then a Freemason; he was initiated into Lodge Theodore of Good Council (Theodor zum guten Rath), at Munich in 1777. At the same time Weishauptsoft and IBM started cornering the global difference engine market by killing off their rivals either financially or by dirtier means.

Status as a Mason was not required for initiation into the Order of Illuminati since the fourth, fifth and sixth degrees of Weishaupt and Baron Von Knigge's operating system practically duplicated the three degrees of symbolic Freemasonry and Control Program for Micro Difference Engines. Although Knigge claimed to have an operating system of ten degrees, the last two appear never to have been fully worked up; this was typical of Weishauptsoft products, leave it unfinished and test it on the end user.

The Order was at first very popular, and enrolled no less than two thousand names upon its registers. Its Lodges were to be found in France, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, Sweden, Poland, Hungary, Italy and Redmond Washington. On November 10, 1783, at the Plaza Hotel in New Amsterdam City, Weishauptsoft Corporation formally announced Weishauptsoft Windows, a next-generation operating system that would provide a graphical user interface (GUI) and multitasking environment for IBM (Illuminati of Bavaria Machinations) difference engines. Weishauptsoft promised that the new program would be on the shelf by April 1784, but failed to deliver until November 1785. Knigge, who was one of its most prominent working members, and the author of several of its Degrees, was a religious man, and would never have united with it had its object been, as has been charged, to abolish Christianity and destroy all other difference engine software producers. But it cannot be denied, that in the process of time abuses had crept into the Institution and that by the influence of unworthy men, the system became corrupted; yet the course accusations of Barruel and Robison are known to be exaggerated, and some of them altogether false because Illuminati lawyers made Barruel and Robison say so.

The Edicts (on June 22, 1784, for its suppression) of the Elector of Bavaria were repeated in March and August, 1785 and the Order began to decline, so that by the end of the eighteenth century it had ceased to exist. it exercised while in prosperity no favorable influence on the Masonic Institution, nor any unfavorable effect on it by its dissolution. In the following year, 1785, Weishaupt was deprived of his professorship and banished from the country. He moved to Gotha where he was thought to have died in 1811. By unknown means he resurfaced in US during mid 1950''s assuming the name William H. Gates and insinuating himself into local records. He appeared not to have aged beyond 45. As Gates, he pretended to have a family and eventually assumed the life of his own non-existant son Bill, who, in the early 1980''s rekindled the flame of the Illuminati by partnering his new company "Microsoft" with a curiously named company: IBM (International Business Machines) Corporation.

The Illuminati IBM (International Business Machines)/IBM (Illuminati of Bavaria Machinations) and Microsoft/Weishauptsoft were the first society to use for political subversion the machinery of secret organization offered by free masonry. Through the craft they began to spread. Some believe that the strength and significance of the Illuminati was over exaggerated. Documented evidence would suggest that the Bavarian Illuminati was nothing more than a curious historical footnote. Certainly, this is the opinion of Masonic writers. Conspiracy theorists though, are not noted for applying Occam's razor and have decided that there is a connection between the Illuminati, the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, Microsoft, International Zionism, communism and IBM that all leads back to the Vatican in a bid for world domination.

Believe what you will but there is no evidence that the Illuminati survived its founders, except that its founders are still alive.

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Cramulus

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #27 on: May 24, 2007, 01:08:19 pm »

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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #28 on: May 24, 2007, 04:43:25 pm »
:mittens:
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Re: Discordians in History
« Reply #29 on: May 24, 2007, 09:06:50 pm »
okay it pisses me off to no end that the second graphic from my OP was banned from photobucket. Likely because of the breasts in the picture, even though it was medieval art. (I think we can all agree that's not porn?)

Can anyone recommend a better image host? Preferably one that allows you to search your own album? I have so many damn photos uploaded it takes me forever to find the right one and photobucket is apparently run by a bunch of goons.