Discordians in History

[hunter s.durden]

Filthy 15th Century!

[Shit]

okay it pisses me off to no end that the second graphic from my OP was banned from photobucket. Likely because of the breasts in the picture, even though it was medieval art. (I think we can all agree that's not porn?)

Can anyone recommend a better image host? Preferably one that allows you to search your own album? I have so many damn photos uploaded it takes me forever to find the right one and photobucket is apparently run by a bunch of goons.

I use filehigh, though I'm not sure if that's any better, as I've never tried to show anyone without their leaves.  These essays are genius.  We should start running a Discordian Cyber School dedicated entirely to dis information.

[Lies]

I just use imageshack.us .
Don't know about albums, I just use it whenever I want to upload a picture fast, but I think it should have that feature if you actually sign up and shit.

[LMNO]

you could try flickr.  I dunno their smut policy.

[SupaTaft]

This thread is imbued with the power of Greyskull.

Wonderful posts, gentlemen. Continue.

- D

[Cramulus]

BUMPED because I reuploaded the graphic to photobucket to see how long it takes them to notice it AGAIN. And so all our newbs can see what I'm up to.

[hooplala]

I just realized that I probably should have mentioned to Cramulus that I stole this to post on my blog.

There. 

I mentioned it.

[Cramulus]

it's cool, it's kopyleft.

linky?

[hooplala]

http://baronvonhoopla.blogspot.com/2007/05/discordians-in-recent-history.html

[Richter]

Cross posted. 
and BUMP

The Dildoes of Nigel

Oft mentioned in the same regard as the Iron Maiden of Nuremberg or the Rack of the White Tower, the Dildoes of Nigel hailed from one of the Inquisition's more terrifying periods.  Mentioned only in scribbles at the back of the first edition Maleus Maleficarum, and often dismissed as a perverted scribes joke, the horrid truth is that these dildoes DID exist.

Excerpt as such:

"At such time that the nobility of ::obscured:: province began to accuse each other of heresy and witchcraft for their own profit, an Inquisitor was dispatched to discover the truth of the matter. 
     A  suspect was brought before the court and asked to confess their heretical belief and practice.  When refusing, they would be foretold that they would suffer torture to extract the truth, and the dildoes would be shown unto them.  At the merest sight of these implements both the stoic and the frail, be they woman or man, confessed, preferring flames at the stake to torment upon the dildoes.  This is moft fortunate, for in such time as elapsed since their last employment, that no agent of the inquisition knew how for to use them in the extraction of truth. 
     So terrible were they to the very mind of the  sufpect, that even a doughty old gentle, renowned for deed on the field of war and at the hunt, believed to be hearty and tough in every way, did faint dead away at their sight.  He was revived with a draught of strong vinegar,and promptly made his confession.  He met death at the stake gladly, for the sight had caused him develop a moft horrible prolapfe of the bowelf.
     it should be recorded that in dimension, thee Dildoes were a score and three ::unit of measure obscured: in length, and five ::unit ofmeasure obscured:: about the circumference.
May Lord God have mercy upon they who created and knew them!"

::Diagram obscured by varicoloredstain::

[the last yatto]

needs rewrite

Don’t Snub Eris - Horoscopic Extremes of the Archetype of Discord
http://www.philipsedgwick.com/Centaur_TNO/ErisCharts/Don'tSnubEris.htm

[Eater of Clowns]

My first post, and humble attempt at an amusing thread.

Discordians Inadvertently Spark World War I

Striking out against the notoriously orderly road system of Sarajevo seemed a natural progression in tactics for the followers of Eris in the early 20th century.  Hastily erected roadside directions provided a delightful bit of disorder, specifically those which rerouted churchgoers to the pig farm or tricked parade leaders into marching back into their own tail.  The news of a royal visit in the area seemed the perfect time to practice their mastery of the system before moving on to Phase II, which involved the inexplicable placing of orange painted dunce caps along major roadways, an undertaking which was considered their greatest success until its adoption by a number of state-run maintenance crews.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand, being a proponent of the alliance system, known to Austrian Discordians at the time as "klausterfuchen," was a highly regarded noble for his recognition alongside Bismarck that the only way to prevent significant conflict was to be unable to discern which nations were aligned with which, an idea that would soon prove to be rather shortsighted.  To celebrate his forward thinking, his caravan was purposely rerouted to a butcher shop where he would be cordially invited to partake in No Hot Dog Buns, which in Germanic Discordian circles is still considered to be the only sacred rite within Discordia (on a side note, the phenomenon has only ever been explained as "Don't fuck with Germans and their sausage.").

The plan went horribly awry when a grenade thrown by members of The Black Hand detonated on a car behind Ferdinand's.  The Royal Family, wanting to see the survivors to the hospital, was diverted by inaccurate street signs, where it was discovered by Princip who took it upon himself to kill the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne.  The rest is history.

[Cain]

I enjoyed it, for what its worth.