The Barstool is a Double-Edged Weapon.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

The Barstool, designed to combat the evils of solipsism and enforce the laws of reality on a brain numbed almost to death by masturbatory neurons, is also useful as a weapon against the violent overthrow of philosophy by armies of ignorant fucks wielding barstools.

Lest the mystery of the barstool become lopsided, let's not forget that it has a flat end and a pointy end.  Its legs make nice handles, but they also make decent legs.  Its seat can inflict damage, but sometimes, a barstool is also worth sitting on.

Don't miss the disconnect between actions and thought.  Besides, penetrating a person's brain with the sharp edge of a barstool will usually only increase their belief in solipsism, even if you switch their train from the "My mind is all that exists" to "Your barstool is all that exists."

This is undeveloped.

[Triple Zero]

also, barstools are often found in the vicinity of bars.

thereby being ready to hand for both the creation of creative thought and the destruction of it.

so yeah WOMP a Chao onto the stool perhaps.

[Cramulus]

[Triple Zero]

thanks

[Discord]

Now tatoo it on your arms

[LMNO]

The Barstool, designed to combat the evils of solipsism and enforce the laws of reality on a brain numbed almost to death by masturbatory neurons, is also useful as a weapon against the violent overthrow of philosophy by armies of ignorant fucks wielding barstools.

Lest the mystery of the barstool become lopsided, let's not forget that it has a flat end and a pointy end.  Its legs make nice handles, but they also make decent legs.  Its seat can inflict damage, but sometimes, a barstool is also worth sitting on.

Don't miss the disconnect between actions and thought.  Besides, penetrating a person's brain with the sharp edge of a barstool will usually only increase their belief in solipsism, even if you switch their train from the "My mind is all that exists" to "Your barstool is all that exists."

This is undeveloped.

I'm not sure what you're getting at.

[Triple Zero]

he means you can also use the barstool to sit on and make pointless arguments about how everything is not really real and 99% empty matter really.

while wielding the barstool to bash hippies, priests and scientists can be loads of fun, you also gotta balance it by once in a while listening to the hippies, priests and scientists.

at least, that's what i think he said.

it kinda makes sense, because balance is usually a good thing.

[Cramulus]

My interpretation of the OP

Dude1: you know the universe is entirely material and there is no God but physics, right?
Dude2: so there's no such thing as a soul?
Dude1: yeah and you don't go anywhere when you die
Dude2: then it honestly doesn't matter if I do this--

 
WHACK

[faust]

Principiadiscordia ethos regarding deeper exploration of the nature of self: start drinking in bars.

[bubz_the_troll]

Build your own bar at home.  Use bean bags.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I think this may be a good point, at first I found the barstool metaphor funny. However, the more I think about it, the less funny it seems to be. It concerns me that some Discordians tend to poke at the sacred cows of others, but in doing so create their own sacred cows (or get a timeshare with someone elses). Smacking people with barstools doesn't really seem to accomplish much (except perhaps getting someone tossed in jail for assault). 

The way I see it Discordians tend to fall into roughly three general tendencies when dealing with cabbages.

1. The Erisian sees that the cabbage may become human and tries to awaken them. (They sit on the barstool)
2. The Discordian sees that the cabbage is a cabbage and will play with it until it wakes up or falls apart. (They may dance with the barstool for their own amusement, but might also get a laugh out of the cabbage headed responses)
3. The SubGenius will see the cabbage and think "Mmmmm, coleslaw". (They will likely hit anyone in the room with a barstool if they haven't sent in their $30)

Obviously, these are general labels and not meant to perfectly categorize ALL, Most or even Some Discordians. It's simply a trend that I've noticed. People who tend to see Eris as a archetype or a real goddess or at least are willing to pretend that she is... the mystics among us... also seem to have an optimistic view of humans and the potential for their consciousness. People who tend to see Discordianism as a joke, an absurdist philosophy, nihilism for the acidhead or suchlike, tend to have a less optimistic view of humans (and their fellow Erisians). Finally, the SubGenius element... the Fundamentalist Hawks of our little gang... see the pinks and the norms as a waste of slack... the only value in a human who hasn't converted to Bob is in their $$ and their potential for entertainment at the hands of GWAR or some other insane memory of a bad trip at X-Day.

I think that Bob Wilson and Greg Hill tended toward Erisianism, Hikem Bey probably fits somewhat as the Discordian example and even Stang tends to be more Discordian in his view of the norms than most SubGeniuses. Though most of his 'followers' seem to have embraced the SubGenius philosophy that he preaches, rather than the one that he tends to actively participate in).

But what the hell do I know? I'm a squirrel.

Ratatosk

[Cramulus]

That's an interesting observation / dissection of the Discordian culture. I can definitely see what you mean. Not sure what that has to do with the barstool metaphor though.

This is all "in my opinion" - I wasn't around when this metaphor was crafted

I don't think the barstool is employed by Discordians against cabbages, I think it's a tool for any argument. It's for when the conversation has gotten so tangential and conceptual that it begins to lose meaning. Whacking someone with a barstool is a way of bringing them back to the here and now of what's actually relevant and present.

I had a roommate in college who was a pretty good IRL troll. We'd be drinking and talking and no matter what we were talking about, he'd disagree with me. I think he just liked debating and would verbally spar with me even if he didn't believe what he was saying. Sometimes these discussions took HOURS, and they made me want to strangle him dead.

stubborn bastard

I remember one such "discussion"... two hours later he was repeating his initial points about how The Two Towers existed for no reason other than to kill time until the third book. It had gotten really heated and he was yelling a lot. Eventually I shook him, violently, shouting "OH MY GOD WE'RE NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING ANY MORE"

something got through to him there and he realized he was just being cantankerous
BARSTOOL

[East Coast Hustle]

...Stang tends to be more Discordian in his view of the norms than most SubGeniuses. Though most of his 'followers' seem to have embraced the SubGenius philosophy that he preaches, rather than the one that he tends to actively participate in).

Ratatosk

Stang doesn't practice what he preaches because he's not the kind of person he's preaching to.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

...Stang tends to be more Discordian in his view of the norms than most SubGeniuses. Though most of his 'followers' seem to have embraced the SubGenius philosophy that he preaches, rather than the one that he tends to actively participate in).

Ratatosk

Stang doesn't practice what he preaches because he's not the kind of person he's preaching to.

That's "Bob".

Stang is just a fucked up, bitter old tragically hip yahoo who is convinced that those sexy groupies will arrive any day now.

[East Coast Hustle]

heh.

I've seen CotSG groupies.

they're not so bad if you get smashed drunk and turn the lights out, provided they've shaved their backs recently.