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Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid.

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Employee of the Year

Started by Mourning Star, November 24, 2007, 11:43:59 PM

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Mourning Star

Employee of the Year
By. Ryan F. Bracy

   After a couple of weeks, Alan didn't even notice the feeding tube.  It took him a bit longer to stop trying to control his bladder and his bowels and just let the tubes do their work.

   He'd used to get stiff, sore from hours of non-stop work, but the new tube bringing him a constant IV drip to suppress his pain centers took care of that.  Now he could really get some work done!  Eighteen hours a day he would type away, coding, debugging, and testing.  He was never hungry, never tired, never needed a break.  If the EEG sensed he was bored or sad, no problem, just a little extra something in the drip.  Sex?  No need for that when an orgasm is a button press away during his off time.

   Alan used to be an insomniac, now his sleep was perfectly regulated, and he always woke feeling rested.  Alan paused from his work for a moment to reflect on just how good it felt to have been given this opportunity to serve his company so efficiently.  A gentle buzzing at the base of his skull reminded him that his woolgathering was happening on company time.  Right back to work then!  He was peripherally aware that the buzzing would increase in intensity if he ignored it, but it wasn't fear that got him back to work, it was loyalty.  The same sense of loyalty and commitment kept him on his task even when two men entered his cube.

   "Alan here is one of our very best tubers Mr. Lipton.  He works day and night, rarely makes mistakes, never complains.  A fine accomplishment."

   "Yes, I've read the reports, 902-71-8430 is one of our greatest successes.  One of the earliest volunteers.  Now, about your latest reports; am I to understand that 45% of your original employee base has agreed to the tubes?"

   "Yes Mr. Lipton, and we've only experienced a 3% attrition rate, more than that wanted to leave of course, "offended" at the very thought they claimed, but the brainwashing was very effective."

   "Oh yes!  About that, didn't you get the memo?  Corporate has decided that "Brainwashing" sounds too controversial, we're calling it "Re-Education" now."

   "Very good Mr. Lipton.  Would you like to see some of the other tubers?"

   "No Bill, I'll let the efficiency reports speak for themselves.  Let's get some coffee."

   Alan smiled as the two men walked away; he wasn't bothered one bit by the thought of brainwashing.  Just to know that Mr. Pallmer thought he was one of the best had made his day.


Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cainad (dec.)

YEEEEAAAARRRGH!  :tinfoilhat:

That was good. Don't forget that 'Alan' is more than happy to be extra productive until the cost of the tube installation has been offset. Can't let the company go bankrupt after paying to help 'Alan' feel so good about himself, after all!

:mittens:

Mourning Star

Quote from: Cainad on November 25, 2007, 01:38:20 AM
YEEEEAAAARRRGH!  :tinfoilhat:

That was good. Don't forget that 'Alan' is more than happy to be extra productive until the cost of the tube installation has been offset. Can't let the company go bankrupt after paying to help 'Alan' feel so good about himself, after all!

:mittens:

I was going more on the slavery angle...

I dono

was a really quick flash fiction idea I had... Threw it down on paper while half asleep and dozing off... Transcribed from paper to ones and zeroes when I woke up and posted for your amusement.

:)

Richter

Good characterization.  I think there was a "Dilbert" like that. 
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Paroxyst

I like it  :D

if i ever get like that, shoot me. please. lol
My name is Jessica, if you can read this you're too close

Cramulus


Cain

Urgh.  That was hideously brilliant.

Mourning Star


Reginald Ret

Quote from: Mourning Star on November 25, 2007, 02:31:21 AM
Quote from: Cainad on November 25, 2007, 01:38:20 AM
YEEEEAAAARRRGH!  :tinfoilhat:

That was good. Don't forget that 'Alan' is more than happy to be extra productive until the cost of the tube installation has been offset. Can't let the company go bankrupt after paying to help 'Alan' feel so good about himself, after all!

:mittens:

I was going more on the slavery angle...

I dono

was a really quick flash fiction idea I had... Threw it down on paper while half asleep and dozing off... Transcribed from paper to ones and zeroes when I woke up and posted for your amusement.

:)
if you want regular people to feel connected to the main character, then its a good idea to weave the extra thread of paying back the shackles into the story.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Mourning Star

Quote from: Regret on April 12, 2008, 03:17:41 AM
Quote from: Mourning Star on November 25, 2007, 02:31:21 AM
Quote from: Cainad on November 25, 2007, 01:38:20 AM
YEEEEAAAARRRGH!  :tinfoilhat:

That was good. Don't forget that 'Alan' is more than happy to be extra productive until the cost of the tube installation has been offset. Can't let the company go bankrupt after paying to help 'Alan' feel so good about himself, after all!

:mittens:

I was going more on the slavery angle...

I dono

was a really quick flash fiction idea I had... Threw it down on paper while half asleep and dozing off... Transcribed from paper to ones and zeroes when I woke up and posted for your amusement.

:)
if you want regular people to feel connected to the main character, then its a good idea to weave the extra thread of paying back the shackles into the story.

I don't write with a purpose, or for people to "Feel connected" or identify with the characters.  I write the random shit that comes into my head.  Sometimes it's worth reading, so i share it, most times it's not.

P3nT4gR4m

That was short and sweet!

Few more and you'll have a book full of some new kinda shit that comes between a poem and a short story, like literary vignette or diorama or some shit

:mittens:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Akara

Quote from: Regret on April 12, 2008, 03:17:41 AM

if you want regular people to feel connected to the main character, then its a good idea to weave the extra thread of paying back the shackles into the story.

I don't think that, even if he did want to write it with a "purpose," it would work to make the reader "feel connected" with the main character.

Alan in the story *likes* whats going on in the company, with the tubes everywhere. He's a workaholic, and loves his company, even if it's a blind love. He's also a suck up. He loves the tiny modicum of praise extended by the higher ups. I know people like this exist; I also know I find them terribly repulsive, and could not possibly identify with them on any basis. If I felt I needed to identify with anything in the story, it would be with the 3% attrition, or those who had to be forcibly "re-educated" in order to accept the new system.

I see this story as a brilliant look in to a world that is foreign to me, and in which I am simply a spectator, gazing upon a snapshot of Alan. I don't need to connect or identify with Alan, or anyone else. I'm just looking at the picture.

awesome job, Mourning Star! that was a very cool little story!
It's like a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

wade

I loved it.   
It reminded me of a loyalty one would see from a member of the Armed Forces.  Which made me wonder if this company was actually the military.  Seeing someone make that much sacrifice for some corporations profit confuses me.  I really dont understand why any "knuckle dragger" would want to work extra hard so a few rich fucks can get even richer.  Like Akara said, I know they exist, I saw them when I was working in an autoparts factory.   These fucks insist on doing more work then they have to, they will be more then happy to do a two man job on their own.   I hate these people, because suddenly everyone is expected to do a two man job, since the asskissing dumbfuck knuckle draggers can do it, so can you. 

I am now reminded of a group meeting we had at this place.   We had some company sales person come in and give us a speech about how much more work our competition does compared to us.   As if we are supposed to feel bad about not making our company more money.   As if we were supposed to want to work as long as the Chinese do... it pissed me off, comaring us to the chinese.  I asked him, how the fuck do you expect capitalists to compete against a communist nation? his answer was "education, we have a better education and knowledge, they don't...".  meh.  :argh!: 

hmmmm.    I wonder what kind of money a group of employees could make if they had their factory moved over seas.  and simply collected and divided up the profits amoungst theirselves.   exploit the hard labour of foreigners so you don't have to work.   so you can sit back drink beer and watch NASCAR while some foreigner breaks their back making money for you.
REALLY real discordians

i wouldnt hurt a fly
:thumb: :kojak:

Mourning Star

I won't lie.  I am loving the different ways you are all interpreting this, and actually helping me to see ideas and extrapolations I didn't even THINK of when writing this.

it's great!