Ideas on Correct Speach

[AFK]

Maybe it's an opportunity to broker an agreement.

"I will answer your question if you promise to never, ever speak to me again." 

"Deal?"

[Richter]

RWHN: You sir, WIN.

Davedim: Feel free to print / display / distribute as you wish.

[Cramulus]

I was just ranting today on how trite and mundane most office smalltalk is.

Don't get me wrong--
A) it's important to exchange pleasantries with your coworkers, and
B) it's not necessary to exchange information Every Time you open your mouth,

but COME ON, do we have to have the exact same goddamn conversation every Monday?

Number One: How was your weekend?
Number Two: NOT LONG ENOUGH! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAWWWwwwwwoooeoeoeo

that's the worst offender, IMO. Doubly so if the person actually laughs at their own 'joke'.

[AFK]

We're packing up the office today to move to another office.  So, everyone seems to think we're supposed to carry on small talk while we do it.  To make matters worse, they're coming up with puns.

co-worker 1: We all have roles here.
co-worker 2: Yeah, I'm having mine with dinner.

Man, I'm dying inside. 

[Cramulus]

We're packing up the office today to move to another office.  So, everyone seems to think we're supposed to carry on small talk while we do it.  To make matters worse, they're coming up with puns.

co-worker 1: We all have roles here.
co-worker 2: Yeah, I'm having mine with dinner.

Man, I'm dying inside. 

you DO realize this is a purgatory of your own creation, right?

[AFK]

Yes, yes I do. 

[East Coast Hustle]

An open letter to those who speak the English language in daily capacity:

Fool,
Prefacing any question with "Let me ask you this:", or "My question is:", serves no purpose.
If you feel you need my permission to ask a question, you don't have it.
If you think I will not be able to distinguish an interrogative statement, you are no longer worthy of my time.
If you believe in filling the air with things coming out of your mouth, I'm headed outside, it stinks in here.
If you can't be bothered to talk clearly with me, I will take sadistic pleasure in how I return the favor
There is no courtesy, etiquette, or sophistication in the extra words.

Should a person never using such phrasing be reading, please disregard this.  You at least have a chance of communicating efficiently, and I look forward to speaking English with you.

Posted in tandem to the outer wall of my Cube, PD forums, and other communication I can slip it into.

I'd like to amend this to also include the phrase "In all honesty..." or anything similar.

so....you're telling me that up until this point, you WEREN'T being honest with me?

[Cramulus]

on a separate but equal tangent:¹

When people say "For all intensive purposes" instead of "for all intents and purposes" I want to staple their mouth shut.

I'm also somewhat sensitive to the word Whom but I only ever correct other editors on it and really only because it's annoying to do so.





¹ Eep, did that count as one of those annoying, otiose lead-ins?

[Richter]

Sequays are acceptale only in moderation, nevar as transportation.

[AFK]

heh, I used to sell those things. 

[East Coast Hustle]

hell, that was probably one of the LEAST odious products you used to sell.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

When I had a cube job things like the way the chick in the next cube giggled would send me into a throbbing blood-tunnel rage.

[Darth Cupcake]

When people say "For all intensive purposes" instead of "for all intents and purposes" I want to staple their mouth shut.

Oh merciful fuck. My roommate in college used to do that, and she was a fucking English major. I wanted to demand of her "DO YOU NOT EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?! Have you THOUGHT about it?! What the fuck do you mean by 'for all intensive purposes' that doesn't even make fucking SENSE in the fucking CONTEXT oh good fucking christ my EARS!"

But instead I would just smile and nod. Because I am usually not overtly homicidal.

Also, saying "I could care less" does not make a valid point about the extreme tininess of your degree of caring. In fact, it does quite the opposite! Rawr!!

[East Coast Hustle]

actually, it's "for all intentsive porpoises".

duh.

[hooplala]

But its so much fun to begin an argument with "Riddle me this . . ."

Dammit.