To Kill a Joke (and/or Religion)

[Cramulus]

HAIL ERIS




did you hear that?

listen carefully...




ALL HAIL DISCORDIA





...it might be the last time you ever hear it.



By the time you depart from this world and drink the punch at limbo peak, Eris may be lost and forgotten by the 21st century. She'll wait for another era, when humanity won't cast her aside like an uppity bitch. Those grayfaces the Romans did it. And we're on that track right now.

It's ironic, really. Thanks the the incredible Chaos (read: Order + Disorder) of the Information Age (read: information + misinformation), there are more Discordians & kin than there ever have been. And people, in their blessed creativity, are taking Discordja in directions that Mal and Omar and RAW couldn't have imagined on their strangest trip ever. And yet over the years we have slowly drifted from the lunatic fringe into the lunatic margin. In a mere moment we may be off the lunatic all together. What has HAPPENED to Discordja? We should be exploding like fireworks filled with whoopee cushions but we're so unheard of, so fringe, we barely even exist!

I'm not saying we should get all mainstream or some shit. I'm just saying we would all benefit if we could pool our resources so we can all accomplish our goals. Whether they're putting up absurd flyers or drawing moustaches on movie posters or spreading some awesome meme bomb or whatever it is you want to do, you could do it on a bigger cooler scale if you had help. Or maybe you don't have any good ideas but you've read the Principia and Illuminatus! and Fight Club too many times to let life pass by without giving it a violent shaking.

There's hope for popes. Scope this dope:

Let's say your episkopos or your cabal or your congregation or your self wants to accomplish something or other, and you don't have the resources to do it yourselfves personally. Let's say you're all hot and bothered about Operation: Mindfuck and you want to drop your meme bomb in a wider radius than you have access to. Or whatever your project is. Be creative.

You write it up as a GOLDEN APPLE SEED MISSION. Write what it's about, and tell people how they can participate. Make it FUN. Then, you post it to the interfnord or hang it up on your wall or mail it to your friends or whatever. GASM is our new code word. It means Assistance Requested. It means you don't mind having your shit fucked up by a bunch of Discordian asshats.

Because look, lunatic fringe joke religions are a dime a dozen deez days. And we Discordjians are gonna get left behind and forgotten unless we adapt to the times, people. In the olden days of Discord, they passed the word around with words of mouth and pamphlets and stuff. Now it's the Internet Robot Future and the whole world has its digital ear pressed to your gibbering mouth. We should be flourishing in this age. They say Discordians should stick apart, but people are treating that like a RULE. And as a rule, Discordians break ja rules!

So be on the lookout. Operation Mindfuck has mutated after having sex with the internet. The OMGASM is coming. You can help too. You just gotta

A) Help out people who post Golden Apple Seed Missions.
B) Be Active (whatever that means for you). Make your activities so exciting or cool or hilarious that others want to join you. Then let the fnordosphere know about it so that they can play too.

This idea will actually work if you (you PERSONALLY) actually participate, and don't just read this thing you're reading right now and go "Hm, that sounds like a cool idea, I wonder if it'll actually work."



kaBLAMMO


Did you hear that?


It's taking off RIGHT NOW!


No, I'm serious-- look outside RIGHT NOW!



hahahah holy shit

When you see it, you'll shit grins.

Hail Eris

[Cramulus]

so for some insomniac reason I wrote that at 4:30 AM. Target audience is people who hang out on other Discordian websites. Feedback requested.


My to-do list for it (this is mostly a note to self)
-add a pointer towards discoflux or some shit where people can post GASMs.


note #2
re: OMGASM

the project is the prefix.

So my "put moustaches on everything" project is  MOUSTACHEGASM
the anti-Ron Paul propaganda is called PAULGASM
the hit some stranger with a canoe paddle project is called OARGASM




real real tired bed time now zzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Triple Zero]

cram i LOVE it!



didn't think a whole lot of the name of the Golden Apple Seed Mission, until you showed what it abbreviates to!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Actually, this is a golden age for Eris.  This is when she really gets her groove on.

She'll be wading in blood for decades.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Evilgasm.
Hategasm.
Rogergasm (redundant, I know).
Huckabeegasm.

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

Epic win there, Cram. Recruitment efforts are now N00bgasm.

[Iron Sulfide]

i think we could play to people's sexual frustrations more, and that might make it more attractive.

i like your rap, cram. you work(ed) sales?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This is fantastic in one way, and terrifying in another.

But if it leads to an end to my dry spell I'm all for it!

[LMNO]

Good essay for the recently initiated.

[hunter s.durden]

Good essay for the recently initiated.

Seconded.

If only for this bit of wisdom:

They say Discordians should stick apart, but people are treating that like a RULE. And as a rule, Discordians break ja rules!

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Sounds like a win to me!!!

[Apikoros II]

GASMs are so much cooler then any form of ISMS.

[Bharlion]

Viva Liberation! Viva Revolution! Death to the Conformists! Death to the Chesterfields! Burn down the Establishment!

Don't worry when the revolution comes, we will all live like kings I say. Like kings!

[Epimetheus]

Now it's the Internet Robot Future and the whole world has its digital ear pressed to your gibbering mouth.

Oh, and jetpacks.

[Cramulus]

holy shit, Jet Packs!