The lord is my devil

[P3nT4gR4m]

There's one hand behind everything
pulling the strings

some call him the devil
and some call him god

the lord is my shepherd
he maketh me consumer goods and an appetite for consumtion

the devil takes them back again
and teaches me to hate

the greatest creation that god ever pulled was duality
convincing us there's two of him

and only one deserves to rule

the lord is my shepherd
he leadeth me to slaughter

he giveth me weapons
to fight against the weapons he gave to mine enemies

he tells me they are evil
as I was accused unto them

we both of us, my enemy and me
paid dearly for those weapons

to fight for our freedom
to pay the ultimate price

The lord got both cheques
along with two sets of conflicting gratitude

I am promised a great life
in exchange for the one I have now

If I'm still around after I die then I can collect

If I shop around I can get a better deal
like 50 free virgins when I get there
but that's patently ridiculous and besides
the people who promise this are quite obviously evil
I mean they carry weapons!
which reminds me, I need another assualt rifle to protect myself from those lunatics
I'd better see the lord about that!

[Coyote]

Hah, I like the ending especially.

[Triple Zero]

nice one, p3nt4

[Adjective Noun]

Loved it, and for your random lulz I heard a rumour that the 'virgins' promised in the afterlife may actually be an inspired mis-translation of 'sun-dried grapes' (aka, raisins). Havnt had time to check the truth of it though

[FingFeng]

I heard a rumour that the 'virgins' promised in the afterlife may actually be an inspired mis-translation of 'sun-dried grapes' (aka, raisins). Havnt had time to check the truth of it though

Quite literally spat coffee through my nose.

The ultimate: **Terms and conditions subject to change without notice.

Man, they're gonna be SO pissed.


~ Poke Fing Feng III

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Loved it, and for your random lulz I heard a rumour that the 'virgins' promised in the afterlife may actually be an inspired mis-translation of 'sun-dried grapes' (aka, raisins). Havnt had time to check the truth of it though

[Requia ☣]

Loved it, and for your random lulz I heard a rumour that the 'virgins' promised in the afterlife may actually be an inspired mis-translation of 'sun-dried grapes' (aka, raisins). Havnt had time to check the truth of it though

There really are virgins, big straping southern farm boys the lot of them.