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Actual PD essay: Wherefore the Popes?

Started by LMNO, March 17, 2008, 12:33:20 PM

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AFK

Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Dysfunctional Cunt

I like it, you kept it short enough I think people will actually read it!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Jenne

Quote from: LMNO on March 17, 2008, 07:09:44 PM
Quote from: Jenne on March 17, 2008, 06:44:24 PM
Bravo.  Me likey--is it kopyleft?  I need something like this for explaining this shit, as I've begun to do here and there.

Yup, kopyleft.  Credit would be nice, though.



Will do, righteeo.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

Quote from: LMNO on March 17, 2008, 12:33:20 PM
This was originally written for TCC, but due to the strike, I'll post it here.  Yes, it deals with the POEE and the Original PD.  You don't like it, don't read it.

______________________________




As some of you may know, one of the things the POEE (Paratheo-Anametamystikhood Of Eris Esoteric) came up with was the True and Holy Fact that every man, woman and child is a pope ("so please treat them right").

Some people wonder what's up with that.  Well, I'll tell you what that means to me.*

1.  It pisses off the Catholics (not that hard, but fun anyway).
2.  It causes mild confusion in cabbages that can't get their head around the idea of multiple, non-Catholic popes.
3.  It is a fairly precise and concise slice of what it means to be Discordian. 

Perhaps I should expand/expound on that third one.  To wit: The Christian Catholic Path teaches that Jesus gave unto Peter the earthly access of heaven's kingdom (Matt.16:18-19: "And I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld will not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."). 

Stemming from this tradition, the Pope has become the singular conduit of God's will on earth, having final say on moral, ethical, and spiritual matters.  Their will in such matters is not to be denied.

Well, Discordians aren't down with that.  They are typically skeptical of any dogmatic authority (or, for that matter, any authority assumed rather than requested).  To a Discordian, the self is the final arbiter of moral, ethical, and spiritual behavior.  It would simply not do to have some old guy in a funny hat ordering me not to have fun, "just because".  I, Myself, am the key to Heaven, and the Gate; I am the Jailor; I am the Prisoner; and I am Free.

But you see, this applies to everyone.  My papal edicts do not affect you, if you so choose, because you are the Pope, as well.  Of course, you all know what happens when two popes disagree: SCHISM!  And in that chasm awaits the One True Goddess, Eris.



And there's nothing better than looking into the Eris' Crack.



















*It should be pointed out that, of course, I speak for myself, the One True Pope of the First Church of Last Exit Before Toll.  Other popes can damn well speak for themselves, if they so choose.


I'd like to use this in the Lollercaust edition I'm working on.. would you mind?
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Iason Ouabache

 :mittens:

Much better than anything I could have written.  I would have gone off on a rant about individualism and antidisestablimentarianism.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: IasonOuabache on March 18, 2008, 04:50:23 AM

antidisestablimentarianism.
For the record, I hate that word more than I hate any other word. I hate it more than I hate Miracle Whip.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Iason Ouabache

Quote from: Nigel on March 18, 2008, 05:03:15 AM
Quote from: IasonOuabache on March 18, 2008, 04:50:23 AM

antidisestablimentarianism.
For the record, I hate that word more than I hate any other word. I hate it more than I hate Miracle Whip.
Mehaps I should have said floccinaucinihilipilification or defenestration.
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
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Bu🤠ns

to join the chorus: well written.  it captures the very essence of discorianism.  or to rephrase "Mini-PD"

LMNO

Quote from: Ratatosk on March 18, 2008, 03:54:35 AM
I'd like to use this in the Lollercaust edition I'm working on.. would you mind?


Feel Free.


And thanks, everyone.  I appreciate it.  It seems that raiding other boards really does have some good uses.  I think this is the first essay I've written in a few months.

Triple Zero

#25
LMNO, permission to repost on the blog of the discordian group on a dutch social network site? (i'll provide credit to LMNO and a link to the blog article, of course).

i'm trying to slowly pry these guys (mostly guys) out of their state of Lo5 23-pinealism. oh yes, they certainly got the lightning math to reduce everything to the number five down perfectly. crucial discordian survival skill, that :roll: :lol:

(OT, i also put some info about eggGASM there)

edit: horrible spelling mistake
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

LMNO

Go right ahead.  Everything of mine on this site, except for my mp3s, are Kopyleft.

Sri Managahela Kalliflower

 This essay turns my crank.  :deadhorse:  BTW, this here is my first post, but I've been Pope for a while, freelance.  Oh yeah, I guess everybody is freelance.  What would you all like to know?

Iason Ouabache

Quote from: Pope Joan on May 04, 2008, 09:43:46 PM
This essay turns my crank.  :deadhorse:  BTW, this here is my first post, but I've been Pope for a while, freelance.  Oh yeah, I guess everybody is freelance.  What would you all like to know?
How soon can you leave?
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
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The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Pope Joan on May 04, 2008, 09:43:46 PM
This essay turns my crank.  :deadhorse:  BTW, this here is my first post, but I've been Pope for a while, freelance.  Oh yeah, I guess everybody is freelance.  What would you all like to know?

About what?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.