AbbyGasm

[Iason Ouabache]

To Do:

• Collect addresses of the ten most popular advice columns.

Amy Dickson:  askamy@tribune.com
Dear Abby: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/dearabby_form.html
Cheryl Lavin: cheryllavin@aol.com
Carolyn Hax: tellme@washpost.com
Since You Asked (Salon): advice@salon.com
Advice Goddess:  adviceamy@aol.com
Savage Love: mail@savagelove.net
Billy Graham: "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201  (can't find e-mail)
Miss Manners, c/o the Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611


We could try to hit up a few college newspaper advice columns too.

[e]

I thought Billy Graham was dead.  Guess not.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

To Do:

• Collect addresses of the ten most popular advice columns.

Amy Dickson:  askamy@tribune.com
Dear Abby: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/dearabby_form.html
Cheryl Lavin: cheryllavin@aol.com
Carolyn Hax: tellme@washpost.com
Since You Asked (Salon): advice@salon.com
Advice Goddess:  adviceamy@aol.com
Savage Love: mail@savagelove.net
Billy Graham: "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201  (can't find e-mail)
Miss Manners, c/o the Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611


We could try to hit up a few college newspaper advice columns too.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRG!   

[Iason Ouabache]

I thought Billy Graham was dead.  Guess not.

I'm honestly surprised that he outlived Falwell.  I bet that he isn't actually doing any work now since he is 90 fuckin' years old.  He's just a figurehead and has been for years.

[Priz]

I'm able to write some letters, and I think I can find a few other people who'd be willing to help with this.

[rong]

1rd - i think suspicion would be raised if they received more than one letter about the same thing (then again, maybe not . . . hard to say i guess)

2st - i always figured the "reader submitted" letters were made up.  or at least synthesized out of many letters of similar ilk. 

3nd - i like numbering things this way.

[Verbal Mike]

I think the idea is actually to each send just one letter to one column.

[Cramulus]

Yeah, that's the plan. Iason collected the top ten so somebody could mail them, but not all of us.

[Priz]

Well, in that case, I'm probably not the best for that, since I'm in a sort of remote place at the moment.

Is there something else I could do?

[Cramulus]

Yes, definitely... Once we're set up, write to as many different possible advice columns as you can.

We'll want to focus these efforts into one week of time, so if our letters appear in advice-columns, they appear everywhere at once.

where you at, Priz?



We should also come up with a webpage for a sort of fictional "Discordian Devival" which looks like it might be happening in [any given] town. Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll. "Contact your local Cabalmeister for details".

[Golden Applesauce]

For buzz week, how does June 8th - 14th work?  That gives us about a month to get this together and also it is the week before my birthday.

---

AbbyGASM

   AbbyGASM is a [[Golden Apple Seed Mission]], named after the famous advice column Dear Abby.  The mission is pretty simple:  on the week of June 8th – 14th, everyone writes letters to different advice columnists on the subject of Discordianism.  Maybe you're concerned about your friend, who recently joined this crazy cult where people laugh at authorities, look for the humor in tragedies, and generally refuse to take life with the seriousness it deserves.  Maybe you're worried that your impressionable teenagers are planning to attend the upcoming [[Discordian Devival]].  Be creative.

While one of the projected effects of AbbyGASM is certainly publicity for Discordianism, the five main goals are:

1.)  Prank the media.  Let's face it, if anybody deserves to be taken less seriously, it's these guys.
3-4.)  Have fun.
5.)  Mess with all the Jack Chick types by providing them with a manufactured crisis.

Victory will be declared if a major advice columnists prints one of the letters (or a synthesis of the many letters he/she will receive,) we get media coverage of the Discordian Devival, or a popular evangelist gives a "hide the children" sermon/tract that features us.

Amy Dickson:  askamy@tribune.com
Dear Abby: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/dearabby_form.html
Cheryl Lavin: cheryllavin@aol.com
Carolyn Hax: tellme@washpost.com
Since You Asked (Salon): advice@salon.com
Advice Goddess:  adviceamy@aol.com
Savage Love: mail@savagelove.net
Billy Graham: "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy    Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201  (can't find e-mail)
Miss Manners, c/o the Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611
Jack Chick:  Chick Publications, P.O. Box 3500, Ontario, Calif., 91761-1019
Yahoo! Answers: www.yahoo.com/r/4d

This is not infeasible.  We already have Stephen Colbert in our pockets.

[Cramulus]

[Priz]

  indeed!

where you at, Priz?

I alternate between Northern Canada and Kauai, but I travel quite a bit besides that.

[Golden Applesauce]

also I think Savage Love is a sex advice column?

[Verbal Mike]

Hmm, if enough people get involved it might make sense to have several different letters sent to each over a longer period of time to make sure they think this is an up-and-coming crisis. Otherwise, as far as each columnist knows, it's just an isolated case, and thus also less credible.
Alternatively, we could have no buzzweek, instead spreading the letters over a longer period of time, so the columnists might see our letters in other columns before they get letters themselves, which will make them think this is a broader phenomenon.