Author Topic: Chaos Magik  (Read 8926 times)

Apikoros II

  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 120
  • Hear oh Israel, Eris is the Goddess and she is one
    • View Profile
Chaos Magik
« on: April 04, 2008, 11:50:47 am »
Hello all. Last few weeks in the Apikoros Household have been, shall we say, difficult. Where has all the laughter gone? Anyways, Daybreaks and I wanna do a chaos magik banishment ritual do get rid of some of the negative vibes. I got this site I googled: http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/chaos_all.php but I'd love some suggestions. Or obnoxious comments intended as wit. Or wit that becomes obnoxious. All Hail Eris! :fnord:
I also believe that everything is false, even that statement and the one above it. Also, when you look into the abyss the abyss looks into you. Heck, the abyss sometimes winks and once it gave me the finger.

hoopla

  • gives people the beeps, and most certainly
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 14993
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2008, 12:11:47 pm »
I think you'll find a lot of people on here aren't into Chaos Magick.  I am, but not enough to give suggestions.
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 25403
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2008, 01:25:22 pm »
those spells are all nonsense.

the proper ritual for banishment into happy laughter ritual is to invite a bunch of friends over and throw a party.

first, pick two or three good solid fun movies on DVD and watch those with some close friends in the afternoon, in the evening the rest should come over.

there should be quiche and a salad buffet or something

go medium easy on the alcohol and other drugs.

and very important, relocate furniture in such a manner to prevent people from sitting in a large circle and turning your awesome fun party into a boring tea party.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 64283
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2008, 01:28:04 pm »
I suggest The Art of Memetics (download available in Think for Yourself, Schmuck).

Mostly people here are not really into the occult.  Some are materialists, some think its all crap and....well, I can't speak for the others.  I personally have a sort of psychological/sociological outlook, and I'm seeing sense in adding memetics to that model.

In which case, its about making yourself act in more humourous ways.  Find something funny, fix it in your mind.  Try to fix your behaviour around it, visualize it as a presence influencing your daily actions.  Since how you act and what you believe are linked, if you believe in this funny principle or influence, and act as if it is a real thing, it should change your dealings and behaviour.

Or just do what 000 said.

Apikoros II

  • Known & Noted
  • **
  • Posts: 120
  • Hear oh Israel, Eris is the Goddess and she is one
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2008, 01:30:08 pm »
Yeah, I am also not a big believer in that stuff, but I do believe there is much science we don't understand (YET!) and that there is power in ritual. plus, check out this one I found: Mass of Chaos "H"
by Phil Hine
This short 'rite' can be used as an 'earthing' sequence to close off a 'heavy' group session. It's aim is to promote laughter by exposing the perils of self-importance.

Discordians have long identified Harpo Marx as a contemporary avatar of Harpocrates, the God of Silence. Harpo is Lord of Silence, trickster and sacred clown.

Preparation
Priest to take on manifestation of HARPO may be adorned with woolly wig, top hat, and horn. Any other props for the use of the god may be placed on the altar, such as a feather duster or tickling stick.

Statement of Intent
It is our will to invoke HARPO, Sacred Fool and Lord of Silent Mockery, that the glamours of magic be dispersed, and Laughing Anarchy enter our hearts.

Priest: "Let the pomposity begin.

Celebrants then proceed to strut about the room, making self-important proclamations about the 'serious' and 'holy' paths of magic, and attest loudly that, as magi, they should be admired and respected by all.

As the celebrants do this, the Priest, in the center of the room, begins to prance and whirl about, making appropriate gestures and faces (visualizing himself as Harpo) until the avatar, drawn to a space where so much pomposity and self-importance is evident, chooses to manifest.

As the Priest feels the avatar come upon him, he brandishes the horn and gives the litany:

Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk (ad infinitum)

Upon hearing the sound of the horn, all celebrants must 'freeze' into statues of pomposity and self-importance. HARPO then has free reign to play whatever tricks and capers he will, his aim being to reduce the assembly to laughter. An effective way of doing this is, when Harpo's ministrations has forced one person to 'crack up' into laughter, they assist him in teasing and mocking the celebrants, until the whole assembly is laughing.

The rite may end here, or alternatively, Harpo may choose to deliver a sacrament in some fashion. If a Banishing is required, the Priest should be divested of his props, and coaxed from silence into speech.
I also believe that everything is false, even that statement and the one above it. Also, when you look into the abyss the abyss looks into you. Heck, the abyss sometimes winks and once it gave me the finger.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 64283
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2008, 01:36:24 pm »
I honestly dont even think science has much to do with it.  Social constructivism, law of fives, NLP, memes, behaviorism and linguistics can explain most of the effects attributed to 'magick', which is partially why I dislike the term.  It makes it sound both more inacessible/mystical and far more stupid than it is.

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 62820
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2008, 02:01:05 pm »
Apik, I strongly suggest you perform the Sacred "Smacking Yourself In The Nuts With A Clawhammer" Ritual.

AFK

  • We all
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 33703
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2008, 02:10:25 pm »
Rent the entire Police Academy series.  Pop some popcorn.  Laugh.  Repeat as necessary. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 25403
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2008, 02:15:58 pm »
okay, let me put this in a way that maybe makes it more clear to you:

This ritual can be used as an unearthing sequence to close off a 'heavy' period of whatever. It's aim is to promote laughter by having fun and inviting a bunch of people over to party and rock out.

Discordians have long identified pie, cake, music and socializing with a bunch of friends as a contemporary avatar of Whothefuckreallycarus, the God of Awesome. Pie, Cake, Music and Friends are awesome.

- Preparation
Priest to pick out three of his favourite DVDs that he has fond memories of having a superb time watching with others.

Priest to take his phone, email and instant messaging client and send out the following statements of intent over the communicational astral quantum fairy tubes (being, a contactlist of his closest friends):

HI DUDE WANNA COME OVER AND WATCH MOVIE X Y AND Z ON <date ####>? ITLL BE AWESOEM AND THERE WILL BE PIE AND CAKE, ALSO GREAT PARTY AFTERWARDS

Priest then to make a list of cool people that he thinks are awesome, or would do well in generally jazzing up the place and/or for decorational purposes. He will then call those people up on their mobile and intone the following incantation:

HEY YEAH I WAS WONDERING I AM THROWING THIS PARTY BECAUSE OF <reason selected from this list> ON <date ####> THERE WILL BE PIE AND CAKE AND BEER, ITS GOING TO BE AWESOEM AND ALSO BRING SOMETHING TO DRINK AND/OR EAT

(make sure it's the same date as the other statement of intent, or you might haunt your house with summoned unwanted entities at a later date)

Now for everybody that didnt pick up the phone (but you still intoned the incantation into the temporal shifting mechanism known as "voicemail"), you will use TELEPATHY. you can use TELEPATHY (which works by astral quantum spirit molecules) by opening your email program and writing the above statements of intent to the proper people, and, this is really important, you WRITE YOUR NAME, DATE AND ADDRESS BELOW IT. this will anchor the Awesome from the astral onto the material plane.

Finally, close your eyes and try to contact your Common Sense Egregore (he sort of looks like a glowing lightbulb), and a way to repeat the above process with a separate telepathic mechanism known as "Instant Messaging" might come to you, if you have received the proper initiation for this grade (see "registering for an AIM account" in the telepathy help guide on http://www.aim.com, a very useful website on quantum communicating). AIM stands for Aetheric Iniate Magicqk.

Your Common Sense Egregore might also provide you with additional means of telepathy, such as "Text-messaging" or "Handing Out Flyers".

- On the <date #####>, before manifestation happens, you will make sure you have rented the DVDs, have a DVD player ready, there must be cookie, pie and beer. also a salad buffet (altar) and quiche. you may also adorn yourself with a party hat but please don't overdo it. wear bright coloured clothes.

Make sure to arrange the holy temple furniture (that's chairs and couches and pillows) in such a way as to make circular formations of more than 4 our 5 people impossible.

Turn on your favourite insane happy music (i have some suggestions if you wish) and do a little dance.

- If you done everything properly, your best friends should begin to manifest early in the afternoon. Watch the DVDs with them. Repeat until laughter is acquired. Then continue.

- After (or while) the DVDs have been watched, eat something, drink something.

- The rest of the guests might begin to manifest. Be nice to them.

- Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk, Honk (ad infinitum) (this was already there, but i left it in)

- Nobody cares about what kind of music you play, as long as it's laid back and sort of backgroundish. No techno. No death metal. No cybergoth industrial. No Joy Division. Also, unfortunately, no insanely happy bouncy music because this will undoubtedly tire out your guests. I suggest "fatboy slim - on the floor at the boutique", Kruder & Dorfmeister and Shpongle.

- Upon hearing the sound of the horn, all celebrants must 'freeze' into statues of pomposity and self-importance. This is why you must make sure there are no horns around.

- You will now proceed to exchange pleasantries, drink, partake of a hotdog, chat, have fun and think up plans for world domination (aka: drink beer).

- The rite may end here, or alternatively, you may continue to party on indefinitely as per the suggestion in the HHGTTG.

- If a Banishing is required, you can turn off the music and kindly tell your guests that you are really tired and maybe they can go to a bar or something and continue there because you really need the sleep.

- The next morning, clean up.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2008, 02:49:06 pm by triple zero »
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

The Apex, The Harmony Of

  • After-taste
  • Outlandish
  • ***
  • Posts: 322
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2008, 02:43:14 pm »
Let all you friends catch you in your robe and then you can become the symbol of the joke.

Cramulus

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 22414
    • View Profile
    • Cramul.us
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2008, 02:46:48 pm »

Vene

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2863
  • Screaming Primate
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2008, 02:46:57 pm »
Maddijiicke is complete and total bullshit.
Just do something stupid/strange for the hell of it.  Well, I guess letting your buddies see you try and work your maddijiicke may be worth a laugh (bascially what Apex just said).

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

  • sea monstropode
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 9236
  • the incorrect form of social currency
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #12 on: April 04, 2008, 03:11:50 pm »
I honestly dont even think science has much to do with it.  Social constructivism, law of fives, NLP, memes, behaviorism and linguistics can explain most of the effects attributed to 'magick', which is partially why I dislike the term.  It makes it sound both more inacessible/mystical and far more stupid than it is.

I tend to agree.

But science does support the psychological model of mahadgjeekque via:
• the placebo effect
• clinical hypnosis
• the pygmalion effect
• and a long list of natural human perceptual distortions, though the first three are the some of the most interesting IMO

Since it's associated with some super retarded elements of occultism and paganism (claiming to effect things in a way that breaks the laws of physics, ie. the paranormal) I usually deny having any involvement in "Chaos Magick."
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 64283
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #13 on: April 04, 2008, 03:21:54 pm »
Yeah. 

Sorry, I should have explained that more.  For some reason, my brain was thinking in terms of hard sciences, which had me dreading going down the quantumn physics/chaos theory route...

I tend to put the social sciences in a seperate category to science in general, so when I see the word "science" I think: biology, chemistry, physics, geology etc

So yeah, your points are along the lines I'm thinking.  I just had a kneejerk reaction to the word usage in the thread, and should have teased out the meaning more.

Vene

  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 2863
  • Screaming Primate
    • View Profile
Re: Chaos Magik
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2008, 03:35:42 pm »
Yeah. 

Sorry, I should have explained that more.  For some reason, my brain was thinking in terms of hard sciences, which had me dreading going down the quantumn physics/chaos theory route...

I tend to put the social sciences in a seperate category to science in general, so when I see the word "science" I think: biology, chemistry, physics, geology etc

So yeah, your points are along the lines I'm thinking.  I just had a kneejerk reaction to the word usage in the thread, and should have teased out the meaning more.
You're not the only one who separates the social and physical sciences from each other.