Author Topic: Rev Roger, Missive #1: It's gonna be okay.  (Read 819 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Rev Roger, Missive #1: It's gonna be okay.
« on: October 11, 2006, 11:28:19 pm »
Proses are red,
Violence ensues,
Everything's rotten,
And nothing is true.


Alright, meatsacks, listen up. 

How long are you going to put up with this shit?  Have you no PRIDE?  No SELF RESPECT?  Are you going to let monkeys push you around?  You gonna let them take away your right to SLACK OFF?  Your right to make HORRIBLE JOKES about things that most people won't even BRING UP?  Your right to fun, asshattery, and HUNDREDS OF SEVERED HEADS?

Oh, but you're just full of excuses, aren't you?  "Oh, I have to wax the cat", you say, "maybe later"...Well, has it occurred to you that there might not be a "later"?  That this is the decade when the fun stopped forever?

That's right...before you know it, the only sex that will be legal will be sex with other people.  And nobody wants that (And "Bob" help you if they catch you with BIG, RED STRAPS in the bedroom.  Pervert.).

There's nowhere you can go where they don't crawl into your skull...like Guinea Worms on steroids, they burrow into your head through the F-rays put out by your television.  Even tinfoil doesn't help, anymore, and - let's face it - do you really want it to?

No, because then you'd have to deal with a horrible truth or two...like what happened to JFK and Bobby Kennedy and Captain Kangaroo and that nice old man that used to live down the street.  You'd have to realize that, not only was Al Qaida not behind 911, but that 911 never happened because New York City was destroyed in 1955.   

Ho ho!  You won't hear THAT on Fox News, will you?  No, they're too busy filling your head with idiotically optimistic, pollyanna bullshit.  Happy fantasies about nice guys like Kim Il Sung and his happy fun nukes...when you know, deep down in your gut, that he and all the other nifty psychotics are just window dressing to hide the REAL menace.

But this is all, of course, just more rantings from The Good Rev, who is always joking like this, and who always says one thing while meaning another, just to get cheap kicks out of sounding nutty or cryptic.

And nobody is out to get you.  Everything is fine.

Go back to sleep.

Or kill me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

  • Missile Command
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 46213
  • Omnimalevolent Polyfather of Exsanguination in Red
    • View Profile
Re: Rev Roger, Missive #1: It's gonna be okay.
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2006, 01:03:43 pm »
RAH.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Triple Zero

  • DO NOT ABUSE EXCEPT FOR URGENT FURNITURE MOVING EMERGENCIES
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 80835
  • Horrible and Sexy Queen of Cheese
    • View Profile
    • Random BIP
Re: Rev Roger, Missive #1: It's gonna be okay.
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2006, 01:44:21 pm »
confusing, i like! printed off a few copies of this.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Doktor Howl

  • Вся ваша база принадлежит нам
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 404483
  • Horrible Bastard
    • View Profile
Re: Rev Roger, Missive #1: It's gonna be okay.
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2018, 11:34:30 pm »
Remember when this guy was trying to warn people about stuff?  :lulz:
"Letting a God into your life is like letting "Bob" into your wallet.  It's going to hurt, because they always grab more things that they said they would."
-Some silly dead bastard in Tucson.

" Jonas Salk could SHIT ON MY DESK, and I'd still sing his praises.  No more polio kids in iron lungs or wheelchairs.  Jonas Salk did fucking MAD SCIENCE, and the world is a million times better for it."
- The same dumbass.

Hoopla!

  • gives people the beeps, and most certainly
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 30384
    • View Profile
Re: Rev Roger, Missive #1: It's gonna be okay.
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2018, 03:15:49 pm »
TGRR was the barometer nobody knew they needed. RIP.
“Soon all of us will have special names” — Professor Brian O’Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes" — Walt Whitman