To Be Posted Wherever the(American) Public Lurks

[tyrannosaurus vex]

A PROCLAMATION

In order to rid these United States of the stench of political haywireness, the Government of the Sane People of America, not to be confused with the wretched filth that is the Federal Government, hereby issues the following Proclamation:

I. All persons officially associated with the Libertarian, Green, Nazi (and other National Socialist), Democratic, Communist, and Republican Parties are hereby banished from the shores of the United States, and shall immediately cease their bickering back and forth in order to clear the airways for sane citizens to have a decent think about things that actually matter, without the useless and distracting prattle of partisan politicking getting between us and a better Tomorrow.

II. Any election to public office of any person who is seeking license, currently licensed, or has ever been licensed in the practice of Law or the administration of Justice, shall be summarily dismissed; and the Disney character most similarly named to said elected person shall be appointed in his or her stead. It is more fitting that this nation be ruled by cartoons than by the jackasses the Dimwit Masses insist on imposing upon themselves.

III. No local, State, or Federal officer, employed by any department of any agency, shall be permitted to arm themselves for any purpose with any weapon more dangerous than a rubber chicken.

IV. The Police shall henceforth drive golf carts and wear Bermuda shorts. It is ridiculous that a civilized People should have to police themselves, therefore it stands to reason that the Police ought to look ridiculous.

V. The following beers are hereby completely prohibited, and anyone who complains shall be imprisoned for the crime of desiring an unclean thing: Budweiser; Coors; Pabst Blue Ribbon; Cobra; Sam Adams.

VI. The nutjobbery of religion shall cease immediately. The next sly, greedy, awkwardly chubby salesman who comes sliding into our living rooms through our televisions, and tries to pawn his insecurities off on us in order to grease his wallet and belay his own fear of insignificance, will be fed to wild pigs.

ENGAGE!

[Thurnez Isa]

made me 

[Adios]

I will not give up my Budweiser.


Edited for spelling.

[Random Probability]

I will not give up my Budweiswer.

Eewww.  That stuff tastes like tobacco chewers spit in it.  srsly.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I will not give up my Budweiswer.

Eewww.  That stuff tastes like tobacco chewers spit in it.  srsly.

Quoted for 100% TROOF made from natural spring waters...


Also, there is a huge Budweiser plant about 1000 yards from my house. I can tell you that their beer tastes like what that place smells like...

NOT GOOD!

[Adios]

This here country boy sho do like it.

For you Coors drinkers I regularly pissed in Clear Creek, the source of their rocky mountain water. I like to think it improved the flavor.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

How did I know this would devolve into a discussion on the finer points of shitty beer?

[Adios]

Apologies.

I especially liked the part about the lawyers.

[LMNO]

How did I know this would devolve into a discussion on the finer points of shitty beer?

Lucky guess.

By the way, PBR is making one hell of a comeback among the Hipsters.

[Dysnomia]

You forgot Keystone light. 

And why should I be kicked out of the US because I've registered as a Democrat?  Can't we just kick out the democrats who suck Hillary's dick instead?