Rev Roger, Year of the Rat #11: Call 'em What They Are

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The human mind is a wonderful thing.  It has developed many means of dealing with excessive or undesirable data...compartmentalization, denial, etc.  But one of the most interesting is the ability for the primate brain to develop tolerances to certain information or events.

For example, I went to buy gas the other day, and I was relieved to see that the price was only $3.85/gallon.  I have become so used to the idea of being raped at the pump that I was actually happy about that price.  If it weren't for the ability to "get used to anything", I am quite sure I would have had a fit of retard rage at the horrible information the pump was giving me. 

While this can allow us to get through life without throttling each other, it has some undesirable effects, too.  For example, we have in the last seven years become so used to watching our rights turn into mere privileges that we just shrug when they hose us again.  People bitched about the PATRIOT Act, then grumbled at the ESA2003...and by the time the Military Commissions Act passed, everyone sort of shrugged and hoped it wouldn't be used on them.

Our screams have turned into yawns.

Some never even screamed.  Some actually approve of this crap...but they are a different breed of monkey.  They are the ones that aren't happy without an alpha male or two "protecting" them.  The ones that like to watch people get shat upon, provided that they aren't getting shat on this minute.  They are foolish enough to believe that just because Bush, Mukasey, and Chertoff want to use waterboarding against smudgy people, that it will never be used on them.

But we aren't really concerned about that sort of monkey.  They have always existed, and they always will.  You can't let yourself get mad at them, or you'll have a stroke a week.  No, best just to vent your hate on them once in a while, and get back to concentrating on what bipeds should be doing.

And what you should be doing is getting your hate back on, getting pissed off again, at the filthy bastards who pass this legislation.  I don't mean Bush, here...I mean congress.  And, yes, that especially includes the sellouts in the Democratic Party. 

The character Howard Beale in The Network told you he didn't want you to write your congressman, because he wouldn't know what to tell you to say.  Well, I have a few suggestions.  Take a few minutes out to email your congressman and senators to call them whores.  Hell, take an hour out to look up their voting records, and then email them and tell them why they are whores.

It probably won't mean anything...in fact, they probably won't even read it (that's why they have staffers), but...if ALL of us wrote to each of them, one at a time, we might be at least able to wound their inner child...because, while individual letters are ignored, 40 or 50 hitting at once will probably be reported to the boss.
Now, just calling them a whore is a good start, but why not have a little fun with it?  Why not write them a congratulatory letter, inducting them into a knightly order (a good example of this can be found in the back of Illuminatus, by Robert Anton Wilson).

And hell, there's no time like the present.  Congress just voted another $126 billion for the Iraq war, with no strings attached...and that was the "opposition" party (Remember, however, that nothing that can even be construed as a threat should be said.  The Man™ may not have time to consider his constituents, but he sure as hell has time to squash an uppity primate flat.).

Let's face facts:  You have very few methods of screeching your monkey hate anymore.  This is one of the few means you have left, so why not take a few minutes to state your position to the proper people?

Mine:

MEMO

To:  Gabrielle Giffords, US Representative for Arizona's 8th District.
From:  Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow, Tucson Branch.

Dear Congressperson Giffords:

We would like to congratulate you on fooling the herd.  Your stance on ending the war got them all to vote for you.  It was easier than you thought, wasn't it?  Yes, Ms Giffords, they really are that dumb.  But that's why you're a House Representative, and they're the rabble, right? 

We were particularly impressed by the sheer brazenness of accepting campaign donations from Blackwater Security.  We are willing to bet that even impressed Vice President Cheney in it's outright gall.

We here at Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow applaud you, and look forward to seeing what other inventive ways you have of completely screwing over your constituency.

The Good Reverend Roger,
Branch Chaplain, EGfaBT (Tucson).

See?  Not so hard.  Now, get out there and tell your elected officials how much you appreciate them.

Or Kill Me.

[Cramulus]

Rah!

[LMNO]

Oh, yeah.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Ah TGRR, its a Love/Hate relationship I have with you.

This beautiful poetry brought a tear to my eye.

(Partly cause I just put $50 in my tank and was happy it wasn't $60 like last week  )

Also, brilliant idea on the mailings... In fact, this might be GASM material.

[Dysnomia]

FUCK YEAH!

That actually really inspired me to email/bitch out all of my congressmen/representatives.  Even fucking AHNULD our GUVENATOR because he's a stupid dick who thinks taking more money away from our schools is the best way to solve California's debt (not taxing the rich people, or attaching a small tax at every fast food restaurant NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)


*FEELING THE HATE*

[Dysnomia]

Dear Sen. Feinstein,

I'd like to say a big FUCK YOU to you if you don't mind.  As an American citizen, I am so angry that you voted for the Iraq war in 02.  It is a completely unfounded war that's only purpose is to further increase this country's debt.  Furthermore, you also pro-wiretapping, for the "safety of the people", AND co-sponsored the Patriot Act.  How dare you try to take away my rights as a citizen!  But it doesn't affect you does it?  You're just doing it to "protect us".  Yes, protect us from checking out library books so that we can further understand the logic of terrorism (or lack there-of).  Because terrorists in this country would really expose themselves by checking out books so they can further understand how to do their job...That act treats average citizens like they are potential terrorists, and makes a joke of the constitution.  Free speech, what's that?  It surely doesn't exist anymore.  Habeas Corpus?  HAH!  Our freedoms are slipping down the drain, and this country is now merely a shell of it's former glory.  We need change, we need to reclaim our freedoms, get out of debt, and get out of this pointless war.  You are not part of the solution, Senator Feinstein, you are part of the problem.  I will not vote for you in your next run for Senate, and will do all I can to derail your campaign so that someone who can actually help us gets elected. 

Sincerely,
An Enraged Citizen

damn that felt good...

[Chairman Risus]

Great as always.  Taking your advice as I type this.

Also, how many Year of the Rat rants are made into poster form?

[Verbal Mike]

Dysnomia, I sincerely hope you haven't sent that out yet, because the beginning will probably stop anyone reading it and the end will be misconstrued as a threat...
Also, telling him (her?) why (s)he did the things that piss you off seems rather counter-productive, you should focus on what's wrong with the actual legislation, not the reasoning.

Roger, excellent rant.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dysnomia, I sincerely hope you haven't sent that out yet, because the beginning will probably stop anyone reading it and the end will be misconstrued as a threat...
Also, telling him (her?) why (s)he did the things that piss you off seems rather counter-productive, you should focus on what's wrong with the actual legislation, not the reasoning.

Roger, excellent rant.

Telling someone you plan to derail their election isn't a threat.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Great as always.  Taking your advice as I type this.

Also, how many Year of the Rat rants are made into poster form?

None, AFAIK.

[wade]

I just read this today and I was reminded of a conversation I had with my dad last week.

My dad was telling me how the Ontario government is trying to get a law passed banning drive throughs.  (some of the drive through line ups I see at tim hortons are insane.)  He was telling me that their reasons were; they want people to exercise more, and getting rid of the drive through would force people out of their cars, they also said it would be better for the environment...   and something about how it affects the cost of health care, because fat slobs are apparantly a cost burden on teh health care system....

I LOL'd and told him that I am going to write my representative and request them to set up labour camps.   It will get us exercising more, and we wont each need a personal veichle to get around.  So it will be good for the environment too....  and...   since they can completely control what we eat in a labour camp, we would also be healthier...  (HAHAHA)

Thanks for the reminder, I think I am actually going to write the letter now.




 

[Thurnez Isa]

People willing to waste their life waiting in the drive through for Tim Hortons deserve what ever is coming to them

BTW its London Ontario that was going to pass that law... Im not too sure if they did or not
Im not suprised. I found the actual city of London is full of clean streets and Suburban Sims who think they are yuppies... its enough to make me sick
the outskirts of the town though is very nice though

[wade]

People willing to waste their life waiting in the drive through for Tim Hortons deserve what ever is coming to them

BTW its London Ontario that was going to pass that law... Im not too sure if they did or not
Im not suprised. I found the actual city of London is full of clean streets and Suburban Sims who think they are yuppies... its enough to make me sick
the outskirts of the town though is very nice though

I agree, the sad part is, in some towns it causes a mile long traffic jam just to get past the fucking building.  (I experienced it)


I actually live about one hour North of London.   Ignoring the people who think they are yuppies(it is very cliquie around here), it is a decent place, everything is green, tons of trees...not too many people...or things...

and all I have heard about London is, it is a huge party town. tons of parties. (I got the impression taht it was a dirty/dingy city) I almost went to college there, other then that, I've only been there to play ball, got to play at Labbatt's Park :P meh