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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Started by Kai, July 30, 2008, 10:04:06 PM

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Kai

fun fact: primates are some of the few mammals that lack a bacculus. Cetcacians are the other group, I think.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

Richter

Fucking OW.  That sounds akin to trying to ejaculate a pineapple.

The Inuit refer to the penis bone as "oosik", and have been known to use them as clubs.  I've found a few palces that sell them too  :lulz:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Kai

Quote from: Mumia Vending Machine on July 22, 2009, 03:16:50 PM
Fucking OW.  That sounds akin to trying to ejaculate a pineapple.

The Inuit refer to the penis bone as "oosik", and have been known to use them as clubs.  I've found a few palces that sell them too  :lulz:

A documentary on clubbing baby seals with walrus penis bones would be slightly surreal.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

Richter

Hell, ANY documentary on penis bones and their useage would be surreal.

http://www.boonetrading.com/Pg26.html
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Unayko

ODE TO AN OOSIK


Strange things have been done in the Midnight Sun,
   and the story books are full---
But the strangest tale concerns the male,
   magnificent walrus bull!

I know it's rude, quite common and crude,
   Perhaps it is grossly unkind;
But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,
   is as ugly in front as behind.

Look once again, take a second look -- then
   you'll see he's not ugly or vile --
There's a hint of a grin, in that blubbery chin --
   and the eyes have a shy secret smile.

How can this be, this clandestine glee
   that exudes from the walrus like music?
He knows, there inside, beneath blubber and hide
   lies a splendid contrivance -- the Oosik!

"Oosik" you say -- and quite well you may,
    I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth
   "Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!

Now the size alone of this walrus bone,
   would indeed arouse envious thinking --
It is also a fact, documented and backed,
   There is never a softening or shrinking!

This, then, is why the smile is so sly,
   the walrus is rightfully proud.
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid,
   Pray, why, is not man so endowed?

Added to this, is a smile you might miss ---
   Though the bull is entitled to bow --
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile
    is the satisfied walrus cow!

(Anonymous)

Kai

Quote from: Mumia Vending Machine on July 22, 2009, 05:00:37 PM
Hell, ANY documentary on penis bones and their useage would be surreal.

http://www.boonetrading.com/Pg26.html

I just spent an hour looking at that website. FFS.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

Richter

They have good advice on working, caring for and storing ivory / horn / bone.  I found them yesterday when I got bored and decided to try carving some.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

AFK

Quote from: Kai on July 22, 2009, 03:19:33 PM
Quote from: Mumia Vending Machine on July 22, 2009, 03:16:50 PM
Fucking OW.  That sounds akin to trying to ejaculate a pineapple.

The Inuit refer to the penis bone as "oosik", and have been known to use them as clubs.  I've found a few palces that sell them too  :lulz:

A documentary on clubbing baby seals with walrus penis bones would be slightly surreal.

The baby seal joke will never be the same for me again. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Kai

Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on July 22, 2009, 08:37:45 PM
Quote from: Kai on July 22, 2009, 03:19:33 PM
Quote from: Mumia Vending Machine on July 22, 2009, 03:16:50 PM
Fucking OW.  That sounds akin to trying to ejaculate a pineapple.

The Inuit refer to the penis bone as "oosik", and have been known to use them as clubs.  I've found a few palces that sell them too  :lulz:

A documentary on clubbing baby seals with walrus penis bones would be slightly surreal.

The baby seal joke will never be the same for me again. 

What, "baby seal walks into a club..."?
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

Richter

I am sorry, Kai.  For doing this to your thread  :lulz:


Quote from: Unayko on July 22, 2009, 06:30:09 PM
ODE TO AN OOSIK


Strange things have been done in the Midnight Sun,
   and the story books are full---
But the strangest tale concerns the male,
   magnificent walrus bull!

I know it's rude, quite common and crude,
   Perhaps it is grossly unkind;
But with first glance at least, this bewhiskered beast,
   is as ugly in front as behind.

Look once again, take a second look -- then
   you'll see he's not ugly or vile --
There's a hint of a grin, in that blubbery chin --
   and the eyes have a shy secret smile.

How can this be, this clandestine glee
   that exudes from the walrus like music?
He knows, there inside, beneath blubber and hide
   lies a splendid contrivance -- the Oosik!

"Oosik" you say -- and quite well you may,
    I'll explain if you keep it between us;
In the simplest truth, though rather uncouth
   "Oosik" is, in fact, his penis!

Now the size alone of this walrus bone,
   would indeed arouse envious thinking --
It is also a fact, documented and backed,
   There is never a softening or shrinking!

This, then, is why the smile is so sly,
   the walrus is rightfully proud.
Though the climate is frigid, the walrus is rigid,
   Pray, why, is not man so endowed?

Added to this, is a smile you might miss ---
   Though the bull is entitled to bow --
The one to out-smile our bull by a mile
    is the satisfied walrus cow!

(Anonymous)

Good find!
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Kai

this thread is more or less immortal. so it's not really a problem to drift.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

AFK

Quote from: Kai on July 22, 2009, 09:57:10 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on July 22, 2009, 08:37:45 PM
Quote from: Kai on July 22, 2009, 03:19:33 PM
Quote from: Mumia Vending Machine on July 22, 2009, 03:16:50 PM
Fucking OW.  That sounds akin to trying to ejaculate a pineapple.

The Inuit refer to the penis bone as "oosik", and have been known to use them as clubs.  I've found a few palces that sell them too  :lulz:

A documentary on clubbing baby seals with walrus penis bones would be slightly surreal.

The baby seal joke will never be the same for me again. 

What, "baby seal walks into a club..."?


Yes, and when I say it will never be the same, I mean it has been greatly improved, visually. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

LMNO

Well, now we can add to it.



"A baby seal walks into a club; now it's fucked."

Iason Ouabache

Quote from: Kai on July 22, 2009, 03:08:53 PM
fun fact: primates are some of the few mammals that lack a bacculus. Cetcacians are the other group, I think.
I once saw someone suggest that Eve was created not from the rib but from the bacculus. Makes slightly more sense than the original, doesn't it?
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Kai

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/10/science/10aging.html Study by Weindruch of UofA has confounding statistics, but may suggest a low calorie diet lowers the risk for age related diseases in primates. I'm looking at YUO, Dr. Atkins.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-do-we-swear HOLY SHIT IN A FUCKBUCKET! Swearing could, just maybe (whowuddathunk) alleviate pain, goddammit.

http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/45239/title/Climate_change_shrinks_sheep Shorter, sweeter winters shrink sheep on St Kilda Island.

http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/45269/title/Hornets_suffocate_in_bee_ball You know those Japanese Hornets that get totally pwned by certain honey bee hives? C02 may be as big of a cause of death as heat.

http://www.sciencecentric.com/news/article.php?q=09062929-brittle-table-salt-can-stretch-like-taffy-the-nanoworld Nanowires from salt micro-taffy. Cool!
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish