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All you can say in this site's defence is that it, rather than reality, occupies the warped minds of some of the planet's most twisted people; gods know what they would get up to if it wasn't here.  In these arguably insane times, any lessening or attenuation of madness is maybe something to be thankful for.

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WE NOW POSSESS ADVICE THREAD! ONE AND ONLY! WE ARE AMAZE!

Started by Buddha's Ghost Penis, August 09, 2008, 02:17:25 AM

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Buddha's Ghost Penis

#75
December 18, 2009, 05:54:36 AM
Quote from: Hangshai on December 13, 2009, 07:00:36 PM
why?

YES, THIS PLEASES.

THE HELLO WILL GUIDE NOW.
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!

Buddha's Ghost Penis

#76
December 18, 2009, 05:55:27 AM
Quote from: Fredamir Putin on December 18, 2009, 05:49:03 AM
dear BGP, plz to squirt your soy sauce in my face

PLEASE TO NOTE: KNEEPADS ARE OF THE RECOMMENDED VARIETY. ARE YOU TO LIKE APPETIZER?
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!

Buddha's Ghost Penis

#77
December 18, 2009, 06:02:39 AM
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!

Nast

#78
December 18, 2009, 06:30:08 AM
Dear Sir/Madam Penis,

I regret to inform you that the two sprinkler attachments I received from your company were unsatisfactory. It appears that they were never designed to go anywhere near a sprinkler system in the first place, and frankly, the smell is offensive to both me and the neighbors.

"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#79
December 18, 2009, 07:14:52 AM
Hey BGP, should I be celibate for a while? Say, a year?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Requia ☣

#80
December 18, 2009, 07:23:20 AM
Why the hell did you come back?
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

Pope Pixie Pickle

#81
December 18, 2009, 10:27:17 AM
Quote from: Buddha's Ghost Penis on December 18, 2009, 05:48:28 AM
Quote from: Pixie O'Fubar on December 12, 2009, 01:36:24 AM
Dear BGP, should i build a zen garden in a bedsit?

WE ARE TO SUGGEST YOU GARDEN THE COMMUNITY FOR GREAT JUSTICE! PLEASE TO UNDERSTAND?

hkmmm i fancy a spot of guerrilla gardening. thank you BGP.

P3nT4gR4m

#82
December 18, 2009, 11:32:24 AM
Are there life after death?

Why is the sound of one hand fapping?

2B or not 2B - choose nao!

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cainad (dec.)

#83
December 18, 2009, 08:45:36 PM
BGP, what should I have taken this opportunity to ask you?

Freeky

#84
December 19, 2009, 01:28:01 AM
BGP, should I really? I mean, honestly really?

P3nT4gR4m

#85
December 19, 2009, 09:17:41 AM
ATTN HAUNTED PENIS: WHERE ARE MY ADVICES ¿
WHY ARE YOU UNHELLO ¿ :argh!:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Nast

#86
December 19, 2009, 09:20:46 AM
The Penis has left as suddenly as it came, it seems.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

P3nT4gR4m

#87
December 19, 2009, 09:23:51 AM
PENIS'S BUDDHA NATURE IS LUMPY :x

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Iason Ouabache

#88
December 20, 2009, 06:48:57 AM
Who dogs the outlet?
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

AFK

#89
March 29, 2012, 04:04:13 PM
Where are you when we need you most? 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.
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