What do you REALLY believe?

[Slyph]

The problem isn't that the Satanic Bible is disagreeable...it's that it is disagreeable and crap in exactly the kind of way you'd expect from a small time grifter doing a take off of Ayn Rand (who herself was a small-time grifter doing a take off of Nietzsche and Aristotle, and failing badly).

If you've got time to waste to read crap, knock yourself out.  I wouldn't bother though, when you can just read the people they were trying to emulate, who were both far more amusing and intelligent than they themselves could ever hope to be.

I have to agree: the book made little sense to me. I couldn't understand how LaVey was able to say "The satanic truth is there IS no god and you should just do whatever you want with reckless abandon...but you should worship Satan too." I mean, that's kinda what we do here except for us, it's a big joke.

The idea is basically: "Freak out the squares with baphomet heads, if they're too dumb to  realise you don't literally worship Satan, when you've deliberately set out to make it appear that you worship Satan, they're beneith you're obviously superior intellect."

It's as stupid as that. It's literally that stupid.

It's like, "Wear a crash helmet 24/7 and lick windows. When people think you're retarded, chuckle inwardly."

[Eater of Clowns]

The problem isn't that the Satanic Bible is disagreeable...it's that it is disagreeable and crap in exactly the kind of way you'd expect from a small time grifter doing a take off of Ayn Rand (who herself was a small-time grifter doing a take off of Nietzsche and Aristotle, and failing badly).

If you've got time to waste to read crap, knock yourself out.  I wouldn't bother though, when you can just read the people they were trying to emulate, who were both far more amusing and intelligent than they themselves could ever hope to be.

I have to agree: the book made little sense to me. I couldn't understand how LaVey was able to say "The satanic truth is there IS no god and you should just do whatever you want with reckless abandon...but you should worship Satan too." I mean, that's kinda what we do here except for us, it's a big joke.

The idea is basically: "Freak out the squares with baphomet heads, if they're too dumb to  realise you don't literally worship Satan, when you've deliberately set out to make it appear that you worship Satan, they're beneith you're obviously superior intellect."

It's as stupid as that. It's literally that stupid.

It's like, "Wear a crash helmet 24/7 and lick windows. When people think you're retarded, chuckle inwardly."

[navkat]

The problem isn't that the Satanic Bible is disagreeable...it's that it is disagreeable and crap in exactly the kind of way you'd expect from a small time grifter doing a take off of Ayn Rand (who herself was a small-time grifter doing a take off of Nietzsche and Aristotle, and failing badly).

If you've got time to waste to read crap, knock yourself out.  I wouldn't bother though, when you can just read the people they were trying to emulate, who were both far more amusing and intelligent than they themselves could ever hope to be.

I have to agree: the book made little sense to me. I couldn't understand how LaVey was able to say "The satanic truth is there IS no god and you should just do whatever you want with reckless abandon...but you should worship Satan too." I mean, that's kinda what we do here except for us, it's a big joke.

The idea is basically: "Freak out the squares with baphomet heads, if they're too dumb to  realise you don't literally worship Satan, when you've deliberately set out to make it appear that you worship Satan, they're beneith you're obviously superior intellect."

It's as stupid as that. It's literally that stupid.

It's like, "Wear a crash helmet 24/7 and lick windows. When people think you're retarded, chuckle inwardly."

Newsreel, oplz oplz?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The problem isn't that the Satanic Bible is disagreeable...it's that it is disagreeable and crap in exactly the kind of way you'd expect from a small time grifter doing a take off of Ayn Rand (who herself was a small-time grifter doing a take off of Nietzsche and Aristotle, and failing badly).

If you've got time to waste to read crap, knock yourself out.  I wouldn't bother though, when you can just read the people they were trying to emulate, who were both far more amusing and intelligent than they themselves could ever hope to be.

I have to agree: the book made little sense to me. I couldn't understand how LaVey was able to say "The satanic truth is there IS no god and you should just do whatever you want with reckless abandon...but you should worship Satan too." I mean, that's kinda what we do here except for us, it's a big joke.

The idea is basically: "Freak out the squares with baphomet heads, if they're too dumb to  realise you don't literally worship Satan, when you've deliberately set out to make it appear that you worship Satan, they're beneith you're obviously superior intellect."

It's as stupid as that. It's literally that stupid.

It's like, "Wear a crash helmet 24/7 and lick windows. When people think you're retarded, chuckle inwardly."

This is the best description of Satanism I've ever seen. 

[dontblameyoko]

There's been plenty of "Bwaaw haws"  here though.

I thought Baha'i was like Wicca, for Hindus and Buddhists. But without the "skyclad" fixation.

Baha'i is an attempt to connect all of the "Great Prophets" (yes... ALL of them) into a single narrative (they were manifestations of some unique 'energy' or some BS), which culminated in Baha'iula the Last Great Prophet. Everything you like about massive 'monotheistic' Asian church congregations, no Rev Sun Yung Moon.

But he's the most fun.... 


When I was maybe 10 my parents thought I needed to spend more time with a better quality of kids and forced me to join the church youth group. (Remember this is 1978 and I'm fairly certain they stayed home and got drunk) My very first meeting was a showing of two movies on the "moonies" of which there was a local branch in Winston Salem at the time.  The movie was of course done with extreme christian bias and made the "moonies" out to be satan trying to steal children off the streets and out of the malls and airports, public pools and libraries and force them into a cult to work and be sex slaves.  It actually showed these "moonies" grabbing kids from mall parking lots and shoving them into vans.

Needless to say it freaked me right the fuck out and I went home completely convinced these people were waiting behind every corner to grab me and make me a slave.

Never went back to a church youth group meeting again... 

Incidentally, the Moonies are still out to get you. They're just biding their time. 

I haven't seen any in years.  Too bad, because now that I'm older if their benefit package came with dental and they offered quarterly bonuses.... 

A couple years ago someone came to my door and my dad said she was a Moonie.

[East Coast Hustle]

The problem isn't that the Satanic Bible is disagreeable...it's that it is disagreeable and crap in exactly the kind of way you'd expect from a small time grifter doing a take off of Ayn Rand (who herself was a small-time grifter doing a take off of Nietzsche and Aristotle, and failing badly).

If you've got time to waste to read crap, knock yourself out.  I wouldn't bother though, when you can just read the people they were trying to emulate, who were both far more amusing and intelligent than they themselves could ever hope to be.

I have to agree: the book made little sense to me. I couldn't understand how LaVey was able to say "The satanic truth is there IS no god and you should just do whatever you want with reckless abandon...but you should worship Satan too." I mean, that's kinda what we do here except for us, it's a big joke.

The idea is basically: "Freak out the squares with baphomet heads, if they're too dumb to  realise you don't literally worship Satan, when you've deliberately set out to make it appear that you worship Satan, they're beneith you're obviously superior intellect."

It's as stupid as that. It's literally that stupid.

It's like, "Wear a crash helmet 24/7 and lick windows. When people think you're retarded, chuckle inwardly."

Fuck yes. THIS.

[hooplala]

I just horked soda through my nose.   Thanks Slyph.

[TRPP Keegan]

The problem isn't that the Satanic Bible is disagreeable...it's that it is disagreeable and crap in exactly the kind of way you'd expect from a small time grifter doing a take off of Ayn Rand (who herself was a small-time grifter doing a take off of Nietzsche and Aristotle, and failing badly).

If you've got time to waste to read crap, knock yourself out.  I wouldn't bother though, when you can just read the people they were trying to emulate, who were both far more amusing and intelligent than they themselves could ever hope to be.

I have to agree: the book made little sense to me. I couldn't understand how LaVey was able to say "The satanic truth is there IS no god and you should just do whatever you want with reckless abandon...but you should worship Satan too." I mean, that's kinda what we do here except for us, it's a big joke.

The idea is basically: "Freak out the squares with baphomet heads, if they're too dumb to  realise you don't literally worship Satan, when you've deliberately set out to make it appear that you worship Satan, they're beneith you're obviously superior intellect."

It's as stupid as that. It's literally that stupid.

It's like, "Wear a crash helmet 24/7 and lick windows. When people think you're retarded, chuckle inwardly."

... Well I guess I'll need to reevaluate how I spend my Wednesdays.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

For the record... (not that anyone really cares)

I used to think I was a Satanist. It probably happens to a lot of 17 year olds whose fathers are Baptist preachers and who are looking for a way to distance themselves as far and as fast from a religion that killed their Grandmothers (that's a different story). I don't know what the fuck LaVey was thinking, or what his band of smelly groupies thought he was doing (none of them probably had a real clue anyway), but for me Satanism did exactly what it was supposed to do: violently break my addiction to tradition and socially-acceptable rituals, while maintaining my psychic need for ritual and providing something that felt like a belief system while simultaneously undermining and eventually dissolving my need for a belief system.

TL;DR: I had a Satanic phase, and it worked for me.

So I thought I had the Satan and everything was cool, until I realized that other Satanists were absolute, complete wankers who liked to stew in their own body odors and lack of hygiene, get hopelessly indebted to the system, accomplish nothing with their lives and become total wastes, while talking themselves up, starting and abandoning pointless little Churches of Satan/Baphomet/Lucifer/etc., and shitting their impotent elitism on anybody who looked at them weird.

So that sucked. But then I fell in with a bunch of crazies who called themselves "Discordians." And the rest is history.

[Diogenes]

For the record... (not that anyone really cares)

I used to think I was a Satanist. It probably happens to a lot of 17 year olds whose fathers are Baptist preachers and who are looking for a way to distance themselves as far and as fast from a religion that killed their Grandmothers (that's a different story). I don't know what the fuck LaVey was thinking, or what his band of smelly groupies thought he was doing (none of them probably had a real clue anyway), but for me Satanism did exactly what it was supposed to do: violently break my addiction to tradition and socially-acceptable rituals, while maintaining my psychic need for ritual and providing something that felt like a belief system while simultaneously undermining and eventually dissolving my need for a belief system.

TL;DR: I had a Satanic phase, and it worked for me.

So I thought I had the Satan and everything was cool, until I realized that other Satanists were absolute, complete wankers who liked to stew in their own body odors and lack of hygiene, get hopelessly indebted to the system, accomplish nothing with their lives and become total wastes, while talking themselves up, starting and abandoning pointless little Churches of Satan/Baphomet/Lucifer/etc., and shitting their impotent elitism on anybody who looked at them weird.

So that sucked. But then I fell in with a bunch of crazies who called themselves "Discordians." And the rest is history.

Great story, thanks for sharing 

[tyrannosaurus vex]

For the record... (not that anyone really cares)

I used to think I was a Satanist. It probably happens to a lot of 17 year olds whose fathers are Baptist preachers and who are looking for a way to distance themselves as far and as fast from a religion that killed their Grandmothers (that's a different story). I don't know what the fuck LaVey was thinking, or what his band of smelly groupies thought he was doing (none of them probably had a real clue anyway), but for me Satanism did exactly what it was supposed to do: violently break my addiction to tradition and socially-acceptable rituals, while maintaining my psychic need for ritual and providing something that felt like a belief system while simultaneously undermining and eventually dissolving my need for a belief system.

TL;DR: I had a Satanic phase, and it worked for me.

So I thought I had the Satan and everything was cool, until I realized that other Satanists were absolute, complete wankers who liked to stew in their own body odors and lack of hygiene, get hopelessly indebted to the system, accomplish nothing with their lives and become total wastes, while talking themselves up, starting and abandoning pointless little Churches of Satan/Baphomet/Lucifer/etc., and shitting their impotent elitism on anybody who looked at them weird.

So that sucked. But then I fell in with a bunch of crazies who called themselves "Discordians." And the rest is history.

Great story, thanks for sharing 

It's just kind of funny to watch Satanism (which for fuck's sake is as valid a "belief structure" as anything else judging by the fact that everything is bullshit anyway) get slammed for being an "inferior" idea, but not until its premise has been ignored, its intention misrepresented, and assumptions about it have been invented and accepted. I just hold you people to a higher standard than that.

I agree, teenage Satanism that only costs you the price of some black nail polish and possibly a month's rent if your parents kick you out of the basement, is a pretty useless thing to follow, if you leave it at that. I also agree most Satanists are hopeless narcissists with no grip on anything resembling the "superiority" they claim. But I also know it's a narrowly focused religion with a few good ideas, and I wouldn't write it off as utter bollocks, especially considering Discordianism.

I mean... what's more Discordian than a fake religion that even jakes its own members?

[Slyph]

It's just kind of funny to watch Satanism (which for fuck's sake is as valid a "belief structure" as anything else judging by the fact that everything is bullshit anyway)

The gravitational attraction force between two point masses is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of their separation distance. The force is always attractive and acts along the line joining them from their center.

My shirt is black.

I like coffee.

get slammed for being an "inferior" idea,

"Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained."

but not until its premise has been ignored,

It doesn't have a premise. The Satanic Bible is a book of homilies and bullshit platitudes, like an inverted Chicken Soup for the Soul (PITCH BLACK ICHOR FOR THE SPHINCTER)

Okay, should, or should not, a La'veyan Satanist profess Satanism? Should, or should not, a La'veyan Satanist invest in stocks and shares? Should, or should not a Satanist join PETA?

I agree, teenage Satanism that only costs you the price of some black nail polish and possibly a month's rent if your parents kick you out of the basement, is a pretty useless thing to follow, if you leave it at that. I also agree most Satanists are hopeless narcissists with no grip on anything resembling the "superiority" they claim. But I also know it's a narrowly focused religion with a few good ideas, and I wouldn't write it off as utter bollocks, especially considering Discordianism.

I mean... what's more Discordian than a fake religion that even jakes its own members?

Not being so completely on the fucking nose about it? Pulling the stick out of your ass?


(Me at about 15, that's an inverted pentagram )

[Diogenes]

get slammed for being an "inferior" idea,

"Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained."

I don't disagree with everything you said, but this one is only as slammable as beliefs/things written about in other religions. E.g. "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" and Moses parting a fucking ocean.

If you contend that Satanism is inferior because it has references to the supernatural, you can't really call it inferior (on those grounds) to others that do the same.

Edit: I understand that you're not necessarily doing that though.

[Slyph]

get slammed for being an "inferior" idea,

"Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained."

I don't disagree with everything you said, but this one is only as slammable as beliefs/things written about in other religions. E.g. "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" and Moses parting a fucking ocean.

If you contend that Satanism is inferior because it has references to the supernatural, you can't really call it inferior (on those grounds) to others that do the same.

Edit: I understand that you're not necessarily doing that though.

"Other people do it too" is no basis for a belief, does it really belong in one that portends to be a state of justified rebellion?

Anyway, what I really want to say is that Satanism has zero (I think the word is) Deontological merit. Everything Satanism IS, Is effectively the wearing a pentagram yeah satan fuck you buddy stuff. Because there's no actual advice there.

[Slyph]

PS that last post was posted in literally one minute so it might be shit.