What do you REALLY believe?

[Mangrove]

There's been plenty of "Bwaaw haws"  here though.

I thought Baha'i was like Wicca, for Hindus and Buddhists. But without the "skyclad" fixation.

Baha'i is an attempt to connect all of the "Great Prophets" (yes... ALL of them) into a single narrative (they were manifestations of some unique 'energy' or some BS), which culminated in Baha'iula the Last Great Prophet. Everything you like about massive 'monotheistic' Asian church congregations, no Rev Sun Yung Moon.

But he's the most fun.... 


When I was maybe 10 my parents thought I needed to spend more time with a better quality of kids and forced me to join the church youth group. (Remember this is 1978 and I'm fairly certain they stayed home and got drunk) My very first meeting was a showing of two movies on the "moonies" of which there was a local branch in Winston Salem at the time.  The movie was of course done with extreme christian bias and made the "moonies" out to be satan trying to steal children off the streets and out of the malls and airports, public pools and libraries and force them into a cult to work and be sex slaves.  It actually showed these "moonies" grabbing kids from mall parking lots and shoving them into vans.

Needless to say it freaked me right the fuck out and I went home completely convinced these people were waiting behind every corner to grab me and make me a slave.

Never went back to a church youth group meeting again... 

Incidentally, the Moonies are still out to get you. They're just biding their time. 

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

There's been plenty of "Bwaaw haws"  here though.

I thought Baha'i was like Wicca, for Hindus and Buddhists. But without the "skyclad" fixation.

Baha'i is an attempt to connect all of the "Great Prophets" (yes... ALL of them) into a single narrative (they were manifestations of some unique 'energy' or some BS), which culminated in Baha'iula the Last Great Prophet. Everything you like about massive 'monotheistic' Asian church congregations, no Rev Sun Yung Moon.

But he's the most fun.... 


When I was maybe 10 my parents thought I needed to spend more time with a better quality of kids and forced me to join the church youth group. (Remember this is 1978 and I'm fairly certain they stayed home and got drunk) My very first meeting was a showing of two movies on the "moonies" of which there was a local branch in Winston Salem at the time.  The movie was of course done with extreme christian bias and made the "moonies" out to be satan trying to steal children off the streets and out of the malls and airports, public pools and libraries and force them into a cult to work and be sex slaves.  It actually showed these "moonies" grabbing kids from mall parking lots and shoving them into vans.

Needless to say it freaked me right the fuck out and I went home completely convinced these people were waiting behind every corner to grab me and make me a slave.

Never went back to a church youth group meeting again... 

Incidentally, the Moonies are still out to get you. They're just biding their time. 

I haven't seen any in years.  Too bad, because now that I'm older if their benefit package came with dental and they offered quarterly bonuses.... 

[The Commander]

I knew a Baha'i kid when I was growing up in the islands. We were good friends until I moved to the states and lost touch with him. Kid was short, pudgy, wore glasses, and was incapable of tanning despite living in the tropical sun. Any two of these things would ensure a pretty rough childhood on STT, but all four of them combined to make his childhood absolutely brutal.

And if that weren't bad enough...his parents, in a misguided fit of attempted cultural acclimation, named the poor bastard "Jamaal".

It pretty much forced him to be a bad Baha'i and abandon pacifism. Kid was tougher at 9 years old than most grown men will ever be in their whole lives.

Which is to say, I know very little about it other than it's supposed to be completely pacifistic (or so I was told).

I wouldn't say it was completely Pacifistic.  We are asked to request non-combatant type jobs if we go into the military, but if you are already doing that sort of thing when you become a Baha'i and it is too much trouble to switch jobs it's ok to keep doing it.  In terms of self defense, we are encouraged to find ways to deal with situations that avoid violence, but no one expects you to just let people beat you up if you can't avoid it.  I certainly wouldn't expect that from my kids. 

[The Commander]

There's been plenty of "Bwaaw haws"  here though.

I thought Baha'i was like Wicca, for Hindus and Buddhists. But without the "skyclad" fixation.

Baha'i is an attempt to connect all of the "Great Prophets" (yes... ALL of them) into a single narrative (they were manifestations of some unique 'energy' or some BS), which culminated in Baha'iula the Last Great Prophet. Everything you like about massive 'monotheistic' Asian church congregations, no Rev Sun Yung Moon.

I'd say you were in the vicinity but not quite on target.  The energy you are refering to is really just a metaphore for the connection we all have to "God" and how the Prophets connection is so much stronger or clearer.  One way to think of it is to picture God as the Sun.  Each of us is like a mirror, reflecting the suns light.  Some mirrors are clearer than others.  Those that are clearest are the Prophets. Based on their teachingsm the rest of us try to "clear the dust from our mirrors" so we can better reflect Gods light. Baha'u'llah is seen as the most recent Prophet, not the last.

There is a more complete description at www.bahai.us and www.bahai.org .

[East Coast Hustle]

Why do I get the feeling that you said all that with a straight face?

[Slyph]

Why do the teachings of Christianity say things like "...I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but through me..." and the teachings of Islam say things like "So I came and in me the line of Prophets has ended." and stuff? I mean it's all well and good to talk about greater and lesser covenants, but if you accept these as sayings of the prophets, don't they contradict the idea that everyone gets a special revelation relevant to time and place?

The major world religions have explicitly contradictory cosmologies as well. How do you reconcile Nirvana and Sheol and Reincarnation and the End of Days and the return of Krishna?

[LMNO]

How do you reconcile Nirvana and Sheol and Reincarnation and the End of Days and the return of Krishna?

Personally, I blame a bad batch of gin.

[AFK]

Or maybe a really good Jinn. 

[LMNO]

Or maybe a really good Jinn. 

YUO.  OUTSIDE.

[AFK]

But how will I work?

Oh...

Okay, outside it is!

[The Commander]

Why do the teachings of Christianity say things like "...I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but through me..." and the teachings of Islam say things like "So I came and in me the line of Prophets has ended." and stuff? I mean it's all well and good to talk about greater and lesser covenants, but if you accept these as sayings of the prophets, don't they contradict the idea that everyone gets a special revelation relevant to time and place?

The major world religions have explicitly contradictory cosmologies as well. How do you reconcile Nirvana and Sheol and Reincarnation and the End of Days and the return of Krishna?

Not neccesarily.  The saying by Jesus is taken to mean that it is through the Manifestations of God we learn about God and come to know Gods attributes. Regarding the statement by Muhammed, I am not familiar with that particular quote, but I Baha'u'llah spoke at length about the idea of Muhammed as the "Seal" of the Prophets.  A fellow by the name of Christopher Buck has written a couple of good articles on this...one can be found here http://christopherbuck.com/Buck_PDFs/Buck_Seal_2007.pdf.  In essense, the meaning of "Seal" is not as final as it has been taken to mean in orthodox Islam.

Regarding the different cosmologies, parables, miracles and prophesies from the various faiths, these are largely taken to be figurative explanations for the nature of God and the universe and means to teach rather than things to be taken literally.  It's all symbolic, just in different ways for different people at different times.  I even look at Eris and Discordianism in this light.   

[Slyph]

I take your faith as a parable belying the greater truth that there is no God and worms shite us out.

[The Commander]

I take your faith as a parable belying the greater truth that there is no God and worms shite us out.

What kind of worms?  cause I only believe in the giant purple ones.  Anyone who believes in the small blue ones is a heretic.

[Slyph]

This too is a parable, it's actually maggots 

Active decay is characterized by the period of greatest mass loss. This loss occurs as a result of both the voracious feeding of maggots and the purging of decomposition fluids into the surrounding environment.[6] The purged fluids accumulate around the body and create a cadaver decomposition island (CDI).[3] Liquefaction of tissues and disintegration become apparent during this time and strong odours persist.[1] The end of active decay is signaled by the migration of maggots away from the body to pupate.[3]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decomposition

[Sticker_Ninja]

  _SATAN & ERIS. SITTING IN A TREE. F_N_O_R_D_I_N_G First comes love. then comes marriage. then comes the reverend roger in a baby carriage.

DISCORDICA SATANICA